The Mate He Couldn’t Control (complete)

Chapter 12

I woke up with a very tight arm around my waist and a gentle one around my neck. I was still unmated and a virgin. Weakly, I did consider it, but he didn’t even try, which confuses me. Why did he do it then? I could understand if he was horny and he wanted something. But he didn’t want anything. Nothing he did last night benefited him in any way. It was exactly like the morning he took me out for a picnic. For a moment, I wondered if he secretly did care, but I shoved that thought back where it came from. Instead, I evilly went over last night's events in my mind as a distraction.

“Don’t tempt me,” Jaylon mumbled from behind me. Before I could ask how he knew, he answered, “You let all of your guards down. I could and still can hear everything you're thinking. And I can smell it.” Of course, that’s the only thing he responds to.

My eyes widened and I slammed my legs tight together. If they can smell our arousal, how the hell are we ever supposed to win an argument? “No, don’t hide it now,” he said, slowly sliding his hand in between my legs. He smirked against my shoulder as my body stiffened. “So, I hear you want to mate now?” he started, moving to position himself between my legs.

“No,” I argued, stubbornly. He flashed me a competitive look and then bit the inside of my thigh. I almost jumped up in pain, but after a second I relaxed. He pulled his teeth out and sat up with my blood gliding down his lips. The odd thing about the bite is that it hurts but it makes you want more. Werewolf venom doesn’t hurt other wolves, but truthfully I believe it slowly drives you insane. Every bite makes me care less about the risk of giving in and I think that’s more deadly than anything.

His eyes met mine and we both froze for a minute. We were both stuck in each other's gaze until we leaned forward and gave into a kiss. It was so overwhelming. We were fighting each other for power and refusing to step down. I wanted him to have me so bad, but it’s just my hormones talking. Common sense is telling me to run.

When we pulled away, his expression had changed. He was no longer horny and teasing, he was the sweet and cuddly Jaylon that took me on a date in the forest. My heart melted at the thought. He gave me a warm smile as he cupped my face with one hand, rubbing his thumb across my lips and cheek. “You’re so beautiful,” he breathed.

He moved down a little, sliding his hands under my back and lying down on me, resting his head on my chest. I felt immense calmness for a minute before things started swirling around in my mind. A silent tear slid down my cheek because I knew he would switch again eventually. When he was sweet, it took everything in me not to fall in love. When he was his normal self, I was struggling not to cry. His emotional mess was driving me crazy. I felt like I was being ripped apart. I guess he was listening to my thoughts because I felt wetness on my chest as he gently said, “Just give me time baby.”

Our morning consisted of silent cuddling while I rubbed his hair. I’m guessing because he didn’t know how to act. Jaylon’s mood swings are worse than anyone I’ve ever seen. It’s always been like this, only worse now. I rubbed his hair though to keep him calm and peaceful. My parents have always taught me from a young age that the coldest people need the most warmth. I didn’t know if he’d be upset if I turned off my link or not, so I tried to silence my thoughts as much as possible. At this moment, he’s mine to take care of.

Once we were eating lunch with Dominic, everything was going great at first until we got on the mate subject. “So how long have you two known?” he asked.

“Around a week,” I replied, taking a bite of my food.

“And you're not mated? Are you crazy?” he replied, looking at Jaylon. I didn’t get why it was such a big deal. “You see, I couldn’t do that. We would be mated that night at the latest.” At that, I started choking.

“Well, you know, I come from the human world, and I would like a human wedding before we’re eternally bonded,” I lied once I stopped choking, getting myself a curious look from my mate. Dalton said that it’s important to look like a strong, happy couple.

“Okay, you say that, but let's say you let someone, or Jaylon bites another person, the other will die immediately. And if that never happened but the other one cheated, you would feel immense pain for hours. I couldn’t and wouldn’t do that. I’m getting rid of the opportunity before it comes.”

“What’s to stop them from doing it after they’ve mated? Wouldn’t that be worse?” I asked.

“That wouldn’t happen,” Jaylon blurted out in defense.

“That couldn’t happen, not from what I’ve seen, read, and heard. I watch people around here, I ask my friends, and I read my father's old journals. From what I know, when you find your mate, of course you know, you can’t help but fall in love with them every time you look at them. They're the one place you find comfort, but at the same time, you still have the free will to cheat. Now, when you're mated, you don’t. The world is different, you're stronger, and you radiate off of each other. From that moment on, nothing else matters,” Dominic replied slowly, sadness on his face. My heart tugged for him. He of all people would be an amazing companion, yet he’s cursed with the unknown.

The way Jaylon was looking at me, it seemed as though his thought process was different. But then, Dominic continued, “You know, I do worry for myself. From my father's journals, it’s different for alphas. It's stronger and there's more passion. I guess because it's not just his mate, but also his Luna. Maybe it’s because she is the only one that can control you. Poor Ali, you’re an alpha’s daughter and an alpha’s mate, I bet your pain would be deadly.”

“Maybe, or maybe I’m special,” I smirked, to hide my worry. If Jaylon doesn’t break up with her or reject me soon, I don’t see myself lasting long.

To hide his thoughts Jaylon spoke up, “So you still haven’t found your mate? I know Alison wouldn’t shut up that we were meant to be our whole lives, and of course, she was right. As per usual.”

“Oh trust me, she used to tell me about it. I used to tell her that if she stopped paying you attention, you would probably have liked her more,” He replied to the last part, smiling to himself of our childhood. Jaylon looked very bothered by that. Not sure why, obviously it’s not far from the truth. “If she is my age, she is not in this pack. I cannot imagine that being a good thing. That means that she will be a rogue or she is a human. You know how she likes to humble you,” he said, with a very irritated tone.

“What makes you say that?”

“Because the moon goddess mates you with someone that will cross your path. If she’s not in his pack, those are the only ways she will,” Jaylon explained.

“Aside from the mating ball, but I’ve always hated those,” Dominic mumbled and Jaylon nodded in agreement. That just sounds boring. Walking around a room full of people hoping one of them takes your breath away? That sounds ridiculous.

“Have you ever had any love interests?” I asked gently.

“No, that is the most ridiculous thing someone does. We all know we have someone, why attach ourselves to someone that would cause problems, especially to our mates? I guess I am different though. When the moon goddess blesses me with a mate, I will do everything to keep her safe and happy, she doesn’t deserve to feel the pains of my past, no one does,” he replied, making my heart melt. There are a few good ones out there. Either Jaylon read my mind or knew out of common sense, that this had affected me, the whole conversation. His emotionless face shows me which Jaylon I would be seeing once we got alone.

“It was nice having lunch with you two,” Dominic said, before getting up and heading to finish planning his party. He left us in awkward silence, which I was now grateful for. I tried to be careful of what popped into my mind. I didn’t want him to close himself off too much. Or in general, but it’s already too late for that.

The rest of the day he was silent. I showed him around the house and gardens, but he didn’t care. He was lost in his own world, but he had his shields up, which I respected. The only reason mine was down was because he was being nice, which was when I didn’t mind him going through my mind. You know, I’ve never been able to read his thoughts. I can tap into others, but not his. Truthfully, I don’t think I’d want to. There are two sides to Jaylon and I have a feeling one isn’t authentic. The problem is I most likely wouldn’t be able to cope with which one is authentic.

I finished my makeup and brushed my hair out into waves. I put on a dress that was so incredibly beautiful and the fact that Jaylon was going to kill me made it even better. It was completely see-through. No, I wasn’t naked. I’m not a w***e. At least not in my opinion. I had a corset under it, which is what you could see. I was worried about it at first because of the length when I packed it, but now that I have on heels, it stops perfectly at the bottom of my foot. I want Jaylon’s attention since it’s our last night alone and me talking his head off is not the way to get it. Sadly, he likes me more when I wear less which is yet another red flag. But, the current chemical imbalance in my brain is making me crazy enough to keep pushing. Before I left, Dalton, my father, my mother, and even Jaylon’s parents instructed me to persuade him. They said I needed to forget Loren and Bridget no matter what I thought. Bridget will have a Mate. Loren will have a mate. This is just going to make that more difficult.

I waited for Jaylon to come back. He said he was going downstairs because he was thirsty, but I knew he just wanted to be away from me for a moment. When he never came back, I went downstairs to the party anyway. I wasn’t surprised when I found him laughing over a glass of champagne with another alpha. The number of eyes I felt on me didn’t bother me. The fact that his eyes weren’t on me bothered me. I knew he was here. Every time we were anywhere near each other our bodies tingled and all we could smell was the other. He was doing this on purpose. He was avoiding me. I don’t think Jaylon realizes how petty I can be. I’m an expert at games like this. Trust me, I am very creative.

“I think I know why he used to be so mean to you,” Dominic whispered in my ear as he started walking beside me. I gave him a what expression and he continued, “You intimidate him.”

“What makes you think that?” I laughed out. Me? Intimidate Jaylon? SURE!

“I know that. You can tell how he looks at you and observes your reaction before he says anything. I suppose I was right, you are the only one that controls him,” he smirked. “Would you mind if we took a photo?” he asked, pointing toward the camera in front of us.

“Of course not,” I replied, smiling for the camera and then grabbing a glass of champagne from a server.

“Before he reaches us, I would like to say you look very beautiful, Ali,” he smiled at me before I turned confused towards Jaylon’s direction. He was fuming but hid it behind a very evil smirk. His eyes held the storm though.

“What the hell is that?” he questioned, through the mind link.

“A very, very beautiful dress,” I replied, smiling up at him. “Don’t you agree?”

“Go. Change. Now.”

“No!”

“I will drag you up those stairs myself!”

“Go ahead!” I replied, stepping closer to him. A soft growl came from his chest from my challenge.

“Fine then, you’ll get mated the second the door closes,” he finally replied. I froze. He couldn’t do that to me. With my luck, he would be the one wolf who could cheat after mating. He smirked at my response.

I couldn’t stop the ‘what if’ thoughts that popped up in my head. He heard all of them. His fingers went under my chin and moved my face up slightly. I looked him in the eyes with all of my determination gone. His glare had faded and his eyes were filled with pain. “You look beautiful, baby,” he whispered out loud to reassure me that everything is fine. I still felt chills though. I might be protected from my powers, but if we mate and the pain is worse, he could probably kill me with his actions. When we broke out of our trance we socialized around the party like a perfect couple. You would have no idea there was anything wrong, you would think we had mated. Though we stayed together, we hadn’t directly spoken to each other or even mind-linked. We both were in pain and only one of us was causing it.

That night, we came back to our room for the last time and Jaylon helped me out of my dress. I let him take a shower first while I tried to get most of my things together. When he got out I rushed in after putting my dress in a garment bag until I got home. Once I was out, I got dressed and brushed my teeth, and opened the bathroom door. Jaylon was just sitting at the foot of the bed in the dark. Whatever he was thinking about was emotionally killing him.

I walked in front of him with a gentle smile. He looked up into my eyes with a fake reassuring smile that didn’t fool either of us. “May I ask what’s wrong?”

“You know I won’t tell you,” was all I got back. He grabbed my thighs and pulled me forward and laid his head on my stomach. Not knowing what to do, I gently rubbed his hair back. I could feel him shaking, but he didn’t seem to be crying. Is he frustrated? Why is he shaking?

I felt many salty tears slide down my face, they were coming so fast I couldn’t control them. Every time I wiped my face clear, double the amount of tears fell. Jaylon slowly looked up at me confused and then concern came to his face. “Did I upset you?” he asked with guilt all over his features.

“No, I’m not trying to cry. I just can’t control it.”

“Something is bothering you.”

“No, it’s just our bond. You're upset so it’s affecting me. Anyways I want to ask you something.”

His expression said he didn’t believe me, but I knew he wouldn’t pursue an answer. “What?”

“Can you reject me now? The party's over and you won’t need me to make appearances,” I asked as I tried to keep my eyes dry.

Jaylon paled and jumped to his feet. The look of pure horror completely took me off guard as he grabbed me. “No! Why the hell would I do that? We aren’t rejecting each other Alison! Why would you want that? Did someone tell you to reject me?” he questioned.

“Why would someone tell me to reject you? I thought that's what you were going to do. You said that I was a mistake and Loren was meant to be your mate. It’s just a few words and then you're free to claim her as yours.”

“It’s just a few words? Alison, I could never do that! How are you so okay with this? I didn’t mean that! I can’t just lose you! There’s a reason we're together and you don’t even care? What the hell baby?”

“Why would you say something you don’t mean? Jaylon, you love her. This is what I thought would make you happy. You haven’t talked to me in a week. There’s nothing between us. You were right, it is a mistake. Thankfully it’s fixable. I know it broke your heart when you found out and I feel bad for it every day. I’m sorry I disappointed you. Once we get it over with, everything will be fine.”

“No, no-no no-no-no! Alison! I swear I did not mean that! That’s the last thing that would make me happy! The only thing breaking my heart is you trying to leave me. I’m not disappointed with you, I knew she wasn’t my mate! Why do you feel bad? Please please please, don’t do this! I need you!” Jaylon begged, sitting back on the bed and pulling me down in his lap. The tears streaming down his face made me do the same. I didn’t want to upset him. I genuinely thought we were going to reject each other. What else is my purpose?

“Jaylon, please don’t lie to me. What reason do I have to stay? You don’t need me.”

“I’m not lying! I told you, you’ve always said we’d be together. I knew for sure you were my mate when you drove onto the territory the other week. I didn’t feel the sparks, but the second I met your eyes I had an undying urge to protect you. Some things with Loren and I are complicated right now, but when they aren’t this whole thing will go away! It will be just me and you. I was trying to fix things before your birthday, but then all of that crazy s**t kept happening to you and I didn’t have time. . .” he trailed off, frustrated with himself as tears ran down his face. I felt my necklace warm against my skin and then I saw myself with him on our date. He let me in. It was just for a second, but it was enough.

As his mate, the sight broke my heart. Everything in me wanted to see him happy, no matter what. I rubbed his hair gently to calm him down and he pressed his head to my chest. I could feel his tears slow. “Alison?”

“Hmm?” I hummed quietly.

“How did you get your necklace off?” he asked in realization.

“I didn’t.”

“Then where is it?”

“Apparently it's invisible now, but I still feel the heat of it. Do you feel it right now?” I asked, moving his hand to the spot. He nodded before clinging to me again. “Come up here with me. I wanna cuddle you one last night.”