The Mate He Couldn’t Control (complete)

Chapter 15

After a couple of days of deep thought and self-reflection, I have concluded that I don’t hate Jaylon. I hate how much I’ve changed since we ‘got together’. I used to be so full of love, forgiveness, and patience. On top of that, I was always full of energy. Now, I find myself pretending to be all of those things. Even though Loren’s healed and everything’s fine, I still feel off. For example, the other day Nick, my nephews, and I went downtown to the diner and park. When I went with Jaylon everything looked so bright and welcoming, but for some reason now it seems cold and bitter. Even the forest. The forest looks like something out of my childhood nightmares.

It’s amazing how lonely you can feel in a house filled with people that are constantly in your ear and children that will do anything for your attention. I expected to feel better with the arrival of my siblings and all of my nieces and nephews, but I still found myself pretending. Selfishly, it made me feel worse watching them in perfect marriages with beautiful, healthy babies. That’s always been what I wanted. A big chaotic family with a husband that is also my best friend.

Over the past two years, I have been working hard on investments and small things in my name with my parents to make sure when the time comes, financially, I’m ready. But now that I’m all set, it just seems pointless. When I was younger, I would have dreams and visions of my future with Jaylon, which is what made me want all of that. But now, I see nothing. Nick, on the other hand, made me promise not to give up all hope. According to him, the pack won’t be doomed until the day I stop trying, or in his words loving. If he says so.

Our friends from our little group would make stops each day, one by one. Julia and Penelope were having baby fever over my newborn nephew so they made the most frequent stops. My other friends outside of the group would text me, but they’d never been to my house so they didn’t just want to show up. I haven’t heard a single thing from Bridget since whatever happened on the island, but Dalton and Angelina stopped by one day when none of my friends were there. They were checking on me, but also Dalton’s trying to use baby fever as a method of pushing along the mating process. Angelina’s comforting because she’s proof that the pack house isn’t all s*x all of the time. She’s still a virgin and my perfect cousin loves her enough to fight his urges. When I look at them, I see pure love and happiness. Something I never thought I would see on Dalton.

Currently, it was Bentley’s birthday and the last day until my family leaves. The idea of my only constant being ripped from me makes me want to light everything on fire, but that will just worsen my problems. On the bright side, it won’t be long until Dimitry gets here and I’ll be back on the road of sunshine and rainbows. He has a way of making me get over things.

“But Ali, he looked so happy when you two got back from your trip. The way his face dropped when he saw Loren told it all,” Penelope defended as I was making sure all of the food was properly placed.

“That was because we decided to be friends in the car. He’s perfectly fine and so am I. We were meant to be acquaintances,” I replied, very tired of the subject. Every person I talk to, Jaylon this, Jaylon that! Jaylon! Jaylon! Jaylon!

“Oh I’m sure,” Julia replied sarcastically. They’ll believe me eventually. I picked up my niece Skye who was hugging the bottom of my leg and crying. Her mother didn’t put her down for a nap, so now she’s ill.

“So why are you wearing clothes? It’s a pool party,” Penelope complained.

“I have a bathing suit on under, but I’m on mini duty so I see myself playing on the steps all night,” I explained, slightly raising Skye from my hip as reference. “Now go make sure the boys are blowing up the floats and not throwing water balloons again!”

I sighed with relief as they followed my orders. I could hear my cousins coming in the front door and I don’t want Julia making Angelina feel weird. Julia may be my friend, but Angelina is not only a sweetheart, but she’s also part of my family now. I beamed and hugged them all tightly but Bridget made sure to stay out of my grip. I asked her if I did something, but she wouldn't respond to me. Dalton said I didn’t though so I’m not sure why she’s mad again. My aunt gave her a look for it but didn’t want any drama at the party.

I put their gift up and sped through the house trying to find Skye’s doll that her mother lost. She’s pissed. I found it and headed back to the kitchen while I wiped her tears. “Are you ever going to come outside? You’ve been busy for like two hours,” Nick whined as he came inside.

“Well, do you see anyone helping me?”

He gave me a gentle smile and stepped closer. “I’m sure if you come out here, Melissa will take over. They are her kids. Come on, it’s your last day with them,” Nick persuaded, sliding his hand up and down my other hip. Let’s just say he’s gotten very comfortable with me and I’ve gotten reliant on him. I don’t see this ending well, but it’s fun at the moment. Our heads snapped as the patio door shut and I froze. Jaylon stood looking very uncomfortable. Nick’s eyes turned back to mine to ask if I was okay. When I nodded, he took my niece from me and headed outside.

Immediately, I readjusted to the other side of the kitchen so that there was an island between us. I haven’t seen him since I shattered the mirror so I have no idea what he wants. I have seen lots of his flowers though. “I didn’t know you were coming,” I mumbled politely as I pretended to look for a drink in the refrigerator.

“Your parents invited us,” Jaylon replied quietly.

“Us?”

“My parents and I.”

“Oh great, your parents are here!” I beamed. I loved his parents.

“Yeah. . . Look Ali, we need to talk.”

“About what?”

“I’ve been thinking about what you said. I am sorry. I know I didn’t say it before, but I was sorry then too.”

“Oh, that’s nice.” One of the refrigerator doors was pushed shut and I realized Jaylon was now beside me. I gave up and shut the other before facing him.

“That’s not all I’ve been thinking about.”

“Well, our minds are always wandering. It’s hard to stay on one subject.” I took a step back awkwardly as he took a large one forward to make up for the distance.

“I’ve been thinking about us. A lot. I miss you, Alison.”

“Jaylon, I’m not an i***t. You’re just saying this because I was mad at you. But I get what you did and why you did it. That doesn’t mean I excuse your methods though.”

“I’m not just saying this. I miss you. I miss your presence. I need you. I will do anything to have you again.” Jaylon’s words proved my point. He will do anything to have me again. Not be with me. Not love me. Have me. He wants my attention and control over me. He wants me for himself.

“I guess I have been selfish in a way. I have given you time and space. I have given you freedom and left you to do whatever you want. But I haven’t considered anything that you’ve wanted for “us”. So, yes. I do agree with you. I think it would be an amazing idea if we kept our relationship professional.”

Jaylon’s body froze at my words, though I’m not sure why. That was what he wanted. I should have given him that last week. It would have avoided our argument, apology date, the momentary rekindling of our relationship, and me burning Loren’s hands. “No Alison, that's not what I want at all!”

I gently placed my palm on his cheek and smiled up into his eyes. “It’s okay. Look, I know the reason you won’t reject me now. Our whole relationship was your way of protecting your family. I understand that Jaylon and I respect it. I know you want to keep your title and I couldn’t live with harming you. I’m not going to reject you. This is okay. We are okay. We will be perfect partners.”

“Partners?” he questioned through a whisper.

“Partners. Now, I need to spend time with my babies.” I quickly walked across the kitchen before he found a way to trap me.

“You were right. . .” Jaylon started, making me stop in my tracks. “You said I would miss you singing to me in the car. It’s so quiet now.” All I could do was look back at him painfully. This decision wasn’t made lightly and it’s not what I want at all but I can’t focus on someone that isn’t focused on me. My heart wanted him, but my common sense turned my head around and pushed my feet out the patio door.

My sister walked up to me holding a crying Mason. “Alison, I need you to hold him!” Melissa demanded before walking off. I knew her, she wasn’t coming back for him.

“Seriously!” I shouted in her direction.

“That one isn’t mine, Alison!” she yelled over her shoulder. None of them are mine. I sighed as Jaylon walked out behind me, passing by with a gentle smile and eyes filled with hurt.

“I guess it’s me and you, little bit,” I smiled down at the calming baby. I took my shirt that I was wearing as a dress off and sat in the water on the first step so that I could hold him and make sure Morgan and Skye didn’t try to go further into the water. Their parents are terrible babysitters, but this is what being an aunt looks like.

“Have you ever thought about your own?” Malachi, Jaylon’s dad, asked from behind me.

“I have, but it seems so impossible right now.”

“May I offer my opinion?”

“I would love to hear it,” I smiled back at him.

“The harder it seems to achieve, the easier it will come. I think you are handling this very well, especially for your age. I know my son, he will come around.” I looked over at Jaylon who was playing like a child with my older nieces and nephews. Even our friends. To most people, it was normal. But to me, it was absolutely beautiful. Maybe I do see our future, it’s just a little distant right now. . .

The next morning, I hugged all of my babies and watched them drive away until Christmas. It was a painful sight, but something I knew was coming. Before I had time to distract myself with magic, work, or cleaning everything in sight, my mother came into my room. She didn’t say anything, just went directly to my closet and came out with a short suit and a backpack. “Get ready and put this on, we have to be at the school in an hour,” was all she said before walking out. I see she’s in her feelings as well.

I fixed my hair and put on the suit with some heels. I wanted to scream. My shorts barely fit. I looked for a skirt or dress that would match the suit jacket, but of course not. This barely fits, meaning I would have to readjust them every few minutes to keep them looking right. Great! I groaned and headed downstairs.

They made me drive, giving me directions along the way. Since they wanted me to memorize the drive there. I was thankful when we arrived at the empty, gated school because the silence was killing me.

Once the gate opened, I could see more clearly. It was a nice school, from the looks of it, it was a couple of hundred years old, but with some remodels. It was huge, but my parents said it was because there was a church inside. I left my bag in the car, very unsure why my mother made me bring it, seeing as though it did not match my outfit and I wasn’t attending today.

“I was wondering when I would see your faces again!” A man in his late 40s came and welcomed, opening the door. According to Nick, this dude was probably 200-300 years old. You should have seen my face when I found out my parents were 150, that was very unexpected.

“Father Blackwell! We have missed you!” my mother replied, going in for a hug.

“Now you know, I insist that you call me Rick, you are after all my Alpha and Luna!”

“Now you know we could never call you that! And, you also know we are no longer Alpha and Luna,” My father cut in.

“Oh don’t give me that! You may have left, but the wolves all know who we bow down to at the end of the day! Now, where is the new child you have been hiding from me?” he questioned.

I stepped in between my parents with a warm smile. We were the same height, making it harder to break eye contact. His dark eyes looked as though they were boring into my soul before he decided how he should go about talking to me. I could feel fear as his hand stiffened, shaking mine. Did I do something?

“Hello, my name is Alison,” I said, breaking him out of his thoughts.

“Yes of course! I have heard so much about you, but have never seen you of course. . . I’m sure you hear this quite often my dear, but you are the spitting image of your grandmother!”

“Now, I wouldn’t say she looks that similar to my mother,” my father responded awkwardly.

“If you say so,” he gave up, immediately turning around and we followed him through the stone hallways. He was telling me some of the histories as we made our way to his office. When we arrived, I sat and smiled at the art behind him. It was an old painting from the middle ages of what I assumed was my grandparents. They looked so in love. “It was from when your grandfather had moved here and started this pack, to move them away from the humans. That was when he met her and this was painted not long after.”

“I love this. My parents don’t show me pictures. I guess a painting works too,” I shrugged. I was still determined to figure out what he saw that made him freeze earlier, but now isn’t the time for that.

“So, Miss King, has anyone told you anything about our institution?”

“No, my parents make me figure everything out for myself,” I replied, halfway trying to be a pain in the ass.

“Ah, well, we do have specific standards, that you will have to live up to and certain rules to ensure all students stay in order. First I must ask you how you managed your time in human high school?”

“I stayed very busy between cheer, honors society meetings, event planning, and charity work, but my grades never fell below a 100,” I smirked, earning proud grins from my parents.

“Oh, then you should do just well! We do not have any sports or groups, I only ask because I do want to make sure that you are well prepared for managing your time for your studies.”

“Alison is very studious, if you don’t teach her something, she will teach herself through research. She is the biggest know-it-all I have ever met, besides her father,” My mom joked, earning a side glance from my father.

“Excellent! Now, I do hope you pass your skills on to your mate. I love the boy like my own, but his studies are the last thing he cares about, which as an Alpha you can imagine is very important,” he shot me a worried look.

“Well, I could think of a few things he cares about less, but yes I will try to persuade him,” I reasoned. The comment I made in the beginning, earned me another look from my parents.

“Alright then, I am enrolling you right now!” he said looking at his computer. “Oh, and before I forget, school starts at 5:30 am every morning, starting August 1st. We don’t have very strict uniform policies, but we do want our students looking presentable so here is the policy,” he said handing me a paper. Ah, so I just have to dress like a cliché school girl and the boys get to look hot in button-ups. Well, at least my eyes will get a break from the sweatpants and hoodies that fill the packhouse. “Breakfast is at 5, but we also have a break between 8-9 if you wish to eat then. Also, I understand that you are a senior this year at human school, but at this institution, our students are not completed until they have finished all 15 years, giving you three more,” he said the last part quickly making me sit up in my seat. I thought I was almost done! I rolled my eyes and dropped back in my seat. “You’ll be required to learn Latin. You’ll be a little behind.”

“No worries, she’s fluent,” My dad cut in.

“You’re fluent in a dead language?”

“Yes and a few others. When we used to visit Dominic, his Nanny would teach us.”

“What other languages do you speak?”

“Spanish, Norwegian, French, Bulgarian, Italian, and Russian. I’m not so fluent in a few others, but I have plenty of time to learn.”

“Amazing. How did you learn them all?”

“Dimitry, my trainer, is Bulgarian. He’s taught me for the past two years. French, Italian, and Spanish were, as you know, all formed from Latin so they were easier to learn. The rest I learned as we traveled. It would be a waste not to.”

“She’s very adaptive,” My mother explained.

“I see. It seems we have a polyglot,” Father Blackwell smiled at me.

“Actually, a hyperpolyglot.”