Have & Hold

Chapter Two

Chapter Two

A Moment Of Dialog

“I really just love this place. Intimate and the coffee is the best!”

“I knew that you’d like it,” said Edith’s mother with a dismissive wave of the hand. “What’s more, the gateau is to die for…”

“Slow death by chocolate,” laughed Edith. “If we come here too often, I’ll have to go on a diet!”

Vivian smiled and paused her spoon over the soft cake that awaited the first bite.

“It’s worth it, baby. Eat today and diet tomorrow…”

The spoon lifted and Edith watched her mother slip the chocolate cake between her red lips and relish the warm rich taste with an expression that was almost mock relish.

“Really, I can’t eat this,” laughed Edith. “I told you not to order me a slice. It’ll be salad for a week now.”

“Nonsense, dear. I’m paying, so eat it all up and enjoy every bite.”

Edith shrugged.

“You are treating me like a little girl, Mamma,” she said, taking the first bite. “Next it will be ‘eat your greens or you won’t grow up big and strong’!”

“Well, if a mother cannot treat her daughter to a simple slice of cake, what is the world coming to?”

Edith did not answer. The chocolate melted, the delicate sponge dissolved, and she felt a sense of comfort as she cast aside her concern for her diet.

“Live for now, baby, that’s what I’ve learned in the last years… be what you want to be!”

Edith nodded.

Ever since her divorce, Edith’s mother had been singing the same song.

“Do what you want to do, make the most of it, enjoy every moment…”

Though Edith so agreed with the principle of that hedonistic philosophy her mother espoused, there never seemed time to make it happen for herself. Always there was real life standing between that tempting ideal and the everyday experience of making a living. Bills to be paid, hours to be worked, meetings to go to and compromises to be made.

“I’ll let you in on a little secret, dear,” said Vivian with a sly smile. “If you are ready to hear it!”

With the chocolate cake melting in her mouth, Edith nodded again to prompt her mother to add more of her clichéd teachings as she always did.

“I am looking for a new lover…”

Edith nearly choked on the cake and her expression of shock prompted her mother to laugh at her surprise.

“That’s right,” she said. “Jerry is history; I’m finished with him…”

“But, you said…”

“I know, I know. He was the one and all that, but that was last week and now is now.”

Not that she had ever met any of her mother’s boyfriends, but Jerry had lasted a year and Edith had really thought that he would last forever. It looked as though the cougar that was her mother was on the prowl again. Just like in the first few years after the divorce!

“I needed more than he could give, he’s just an idle so-and-so,” smiled Vivian with a smirk. “Men are such an unsatisfying lot when it comes down to it! What started as a silly little argument became really quite testing and he failed to keep me amused!”

“Mamma, you just have no give and take! There has to be compromise, how else can it work?”

“Ooh, listen to who is preaching now!” said Vivian after polishing off the cake and self-consciously touching the corners of her mouth to ensure that no chocolate had been missed. “I know what I want, that’s the real problem…”

“Well, so do I,” said the daughter. “But, that doesn’t mean that I can’t find the middle ground with Simon. You, on the other hand, you want it all…”

“And I want it now!” broke in Edith’s mother with a short chuckle. “That’s what I mean by living for the moment, dear. I’ve always said that Simon was far too self-sufficient for you, you need someone who will care for you properly.”

“He does, Mamma! Well, mostly anyway. That’s what I mean about compromise and flexibility. I have to give a little to get what I want from the marriage.”

“You get that? So, why are you always so defensive, baby? I really just want you to have the best that you can, and Simon is not it!”

Edith shrugged.

“There you go again, Mamma. He’s a good husband… I have no complaints. No risk of him having an affair, tidy and loving, what more could I ask for?”

Vivian pulled an expression that indicated disbelief in her daughter’s assertions.

“OK then, let’s explore,” she said. “How can you be sure that your idle husband, Simon is not having an affair? You earn all the money and I want to know what he does all day on his own! When the cat’s away, the mice will play…”

“I just know, Mamma. That’s all, I just know…”

“So, you’re checking up on him? That’s a good sign! A wife has to know all those little secrets.”

Edith sighed theatrically.

From the very start it had been clear that her mother did not like the man that she had married, now she was starting to sound like a broken record. Not that any of her mother’s complaints bothered her much. It just seemed Vivian was looking for reasons to nudge her daughter to suspicion.

“No, I’m not checking up on him, I just happen to know that Simon is not playing around,” she asserted and then mentally kicked herself for saying too much. “I am sure, that’s all…”

Vivian tapped her finger on the table.

“So, how do you know?” she asked slyly. “If you’re not keeping tabs on him?”

“Just because my father was sleeping around, does not mean that all men are the same,” said Edith. “Don’t assume that what happened to you has to happen to everyone!”

“That hurt!” said Edith’s mother with a simulated look of wounded pride. “Uncalled for!”

“Well, it’s true,” said Edith. “Simon is not one to cheat…

“And you know this?”

It was bottled up, waiting to get out, the personal secret that she had held for so long. Edith just could not help herself!

“I do know it, Mamma. There’s no way that Simon is having an affair… I don’t want to talk about it!”

There!

It almost slipped out, but she had been at the brink. All it required was the key to turn in the lock and the door would be open and she would be a laughing- stock and her mother would never let her forget it…

“So, tell Mamma! It’s good to talk!”

“No it isn’t,” started Edith, but the urge to spill her secret was too much, she had to tell! “You will just laugh at me!”

“It helps to speak someone and who better than me? What’s the problem?”

Edith sat back and played with the chocolaty spoon on the empty plate before she could reply. Her mother waited patiently with a serious expression and the daughter felt cornered and unable to escape the revelation.

“It started a couple of years ago,” said Edith. “Maybe more, but it was a couple of years ago that I noticed it.”

Vivian did not press her daughter but leaned forward a little to add a touch of confidentiality, to encourage Edith to talk. Clearly there was something on her daughter’s mind and she had no intention of spoiling the revelation and letting it escape her.

“He is wearing my clothes! When I’m not there of course!” said Edith with a blush.

Vivian bit back an urge to chuckle and managed to keep a straight face.

“No wonder that you believe that he can’t be having an affair…”

“You agree with me?”

“How can I agree when you haven’t told me everything that you know?”

“I have!”

“So how do you know that he’s a cross-dresser? What gave it away?”

“There are traces… you know, hairs in my stockings, the shoes that I’ve never worn have creases. Other signs … you know! His Internet browsing. He bought a pair of stilettos a size too big for me… All that and more…”

“I see,” said Vivian allowing a small smirk to cross her features for a moment before getting back to a look of concern. “So, what have you done about it?”

“Left it well alone,” answered Edith. “If it’s what he needs, then…”

“Well, it just goes to prove what I knew all along,” said Vivian.

“What’s that?”

“That your attitude of live-and-let-live does not work. Simon is spending all his energy on a fetish and you just shrug your shoulders! It’s like he has another lover in his head!”

“That’s not true,” retorted Edith. “It’s a harmless little fetish, Mamma, that’s all it is! He’ll grow out of it, I know he will! Anyway, I really just don’t know how to deal with it. Play along, ignore or put a stop to it.”

“Why on earth would you want Simon to grow out of it?” said Vivian in a disdainful tone. “It’s the ticket to contentment, knowing what a hubby’s little secret is!”

“And how’s that the case?” answered Edith blushing as she retorted.

“Do I have to spell it out for you, baby?” answered her mother. “Suddenly I approve of that husband of yours! That’s the start, because it means that you have the one thing that every woman wants! That I want, if the truth be told.”

“Which is?”

“A means of control!”

“Mamma, don’t go messing in my marriage!”

“No, you just refuse to see it, that’s all. Why not just play along with it, as you suggested?”

“Mamma, it would feel ridiculous. Why on earth would I want to encourage him cross-dressing?”

Vivian laughed and tapped a finger on the table.

“Because it would be a compromise, that’s why. You can trade his little fetish for what you want. Just think of all the things that you want to do in the bedroom and he won’t play along!”

Edith blushed, but perhaps there was something in what her mother said?

“Go on,” said Edith.

“You get Simon in a corner and trade off…”

Edith imagined stalking her husband around the bedroom and started to giggle.

“Help him dress up and he will do whatever you want,” said Vivian with a smirk. “Especially since he will be so embarrassed all dressed up.”

“But, what if he doesn’t?”

“You need to be forceful about it,” said Vivian. “tell him how he has deceived you and get in a temper and he will be like putty in your hands. Threaten him that you will tell me…”

“Oh my God,” said Edith with a shocked expression. “Simon would be terrified if he thought that you knew.”

“See, it’s so easy when you think about it! There are so many possibilities, all you need to do is to move to the next level.”

“I’ll think about it…”

“Well, be quick or I will do it for you!”

“No you won’t, Mamma. I’ll do it and see what happens…”

“Good, just make sure that you do!”