But I Don’t Have A Wolf
1565 Words
Thalia’s POV
I had been minding my own business by the training grounds, watching the warriors train. I wasn’t allowed to join in yet, since they didn't entirely trust me with their weapons.
Apparently, they thought a wolfless stray like me was going to pull a blade and single-handedly m******e their entire pack.
Regardless, I have been in this territory for a week and three days now, and in those ten days, I have experienced more warmth and attention than I ever received in my entire twenty-five years back at BlackFang.
Natalie marched over, giving me a look that practically screamed trouble. She was my first friend in this place, and our connection had been immediate. She was always up to no good, silly and whimsical, and the complete opposite of Eris. Sometimes when we spoke, I'd forget that I ever had someone like Eris in my life.
“Whatever trouble you're plotting, count me out,” I said immediately, raising my hands before she could lure me in.
She kicked a small stone through the dirt, her grin widening. “I’m actually here on official business from the kitchens. The head chef said Alpha Dion just ordered another refill.”
“Another one?” I exclaimed. “Hasn’t he already had at least five jugs of alcohol today?” At this rate, he might as well drink himself to death. “Is he always like this?” I asked.
Natalie shook her head, her gaze dropping back to the dust. “No. But there are days… dark days. And this might be one of them.”
I was curious to know more, but I didn't want to pry, and besides, I still saw him as a massive prick after the way he had barked at me to get out of his throne room. Sure, I’d be lying if I denied thinking about that crazy spark between us when our skin brushed. But if he wanted to act like it never happened, I could play that game too.
“So? What does his moody binge-drinking have to do with my afternoon?”
“You’re on delivery duty.” Natalie hooked her arm through mine, yanking me to my feet and marching me toward the kitchen.
“Wait, hold on! Is consent not a thing here?” My question was ignored as she grabbed a big jug of alcohol from the kitchen counter and shoved it into my hands.
“I am absolutely not doing this. I won’t move from this place.”
“You don’t have to.” She kept pulling, and I dug my heels into the dirt, trying to break free. Natalie was a born shifter, and since I was wolfless, it made her seem even stronger. So, all my attempts to escape her failed.
We eventually got to his door, and after minutes of hushed arguments, she rolled her eyes and knocked on the door.
“Who is it?” his drowsy voice sounded from behind his heavy mahogany door.
Natalie took off running, giggling down the hall while I shot a string of silent, abusive words. I stood there for a few minutes, even when he had already ordered me to go in.
“Come on, Thalia. You’re only going in to drop off the jug and leave. What’s the worst that can happen?” I said to myself, took a deep breath, and pushed the door open.
The moment I got a clear view of his room, his voice startled me.
“What… What do you think you’re doing in…In my chambers…”
I ignored him, moved towards his already full desk, and placed the jug there. The hairs on my body had already started to stand. I turned to leave, already feeling relaxed that it was almost over. But before I could reach the door, he grabbed my arm.
“And where do you think you’re going?” his alcohol breath fanned my face. I should have been disgusted by the heavy smell of whiskey, but the way the heat of his breath felt against my skin made me shiver.
I tried to pull away, but he only held me tighter.
The familiar electric shock traveled through every vein in my body. I lifted my head to look at him and nearly melted at the sight before me.
He looked completely broken, like he had been suffering for days. His usual fair and glowing skin now looked pale under the moonlight, and although his touch sent electric waves through my body, his hands were ice cold.
But what shocked me wasn’t his pale skin or cold hands but the fact that his eyes were dull and swollen.
Has he been crying?
Something inside of me ached to reach for his face and caress it, but I knew better.
“You’re drunk; let go of me.”
I was expecting a witty response or an Alpha command, but what he said next shocked me.
“You can’t say you love me and abandon me…”
What the f**k is going on?
“Let me go…” I moved back to create some distance between us, but he grabbed my waist and threw me onto the bed like I was nothing but paper.
Within seconds, he was on top of me like an excited dog. His chain dangled from his neck as he positioned himself right on top of me. His eyes scanned my whole body before finally focusing on my lips. I licked them, feeling extremely self-conscious now.
He grabbed both of my arms and placed them above my head, pinning me to the bed. I didn’t bother struggling because I knew for a fact that my strength was nothing compared to his, and besides, something in me didn’t want to leave his warmth at all.
He dropped closer, so close that I could feel his breath against my lips.
“I can’t let you leave me…”
I was about to reply that I wasn’t going anywhere when he spoke again.
“Damien…you can’t leave me, not again…”
My eyes immediately flew open. Who the hell is Damien?
His lips were already so close to mine, but I pushed him off with every strength I could muster. He merely jerked back a bit.
“What’s wrong, baby? What’s wrong?” his hands cupped my face gently.
Of course. I knew it was too good to be true.
I pushed his hands away from my face and rolled away from underneath him, the bitter truth sinking in. He was hallucinating, mistaking me for whoever this Damien was.
“You’re drunk, Alpha Dion. I need to leave.” I reached the door, but he called out to me again. “Please, please don’t leave me. Please, I won’t survive it if you leave again.” He instantly fell to his knees.
Whoever this Damien person was, he must have really messed with his head to have him, a whole proud, rogue Alpha, on his knees like this. My hand on the doorknob tightened. I really wanted to leave; I really did. But I can’t have his pack members see him like this.
I sighed heavily, already regretting my decision. “You’ve been nothing but mean to me, for reasons I know nothing about…” I grabbed his shoulders and hoisted him up. “I’m doing this because it’s something any normal person with kindness would do.”
I led him to his bed and covered him up due to how much he was shivering. He kept mumbling words I couldn’t hear, but I knew for a fact that it would be about his Damien.
His body began burning up. I left to grab a towel and a bowl with cold water. I began massaging his whole body, doing my best to calm him down. After a while, his breathing came back to normal, and he passed out. I watched as his chest moved up and down. His hair was wet and disheveled from how heavily he sweated. He looked calmer now.
Without meaning to, my gaze began to trace his frame. His chest was sharply defined, his abs prominent and carved like stone. He looked like he’d be a very fit athlete if he ever decided to take on a sport.
My eyes moved over every inch of his body, as if I were trying to memorize his entire body anatomy. When my gaze eventually got to his lips, I froze. They looked so soft and inviting, so plump and delicate. I hadn’t realized how close I had leaned into his face until he moved a bit and the damp strands of hair brushed my cheek.
“Mine…” my mind screamed.
I threw myself backward and practically bolted from the room. I rested on his closed door, feeling my heart in my throat.
Something was really wrong with me. Aside from the fact that I was drawn to him, I could feel a very familiar feeling. A voice, a voice I hadn't heard in two long years.
I had been trying to ignore it since I opened my eyes in this rogue pack, but the voice kept getting louder, and it was having really close similarities to my wolf, Lia.
But I didn't have a wolf anymore. I had given her away. So how was she speaking to me?
- Writer
