Stop Pushing Yourself
1398 Words
Adonis POV
“Don’t push yourself too much if you can’t do it. We'll go again tomorrow.” Caspian reached down to help me up from the floor, but I slapped his hands away.
“Don’t f*****g touch me,” I snarled. “I said we’re completing all the exercises today. If I don't finish, no one leaves this place.”
I tried to stand on my own, but my legs were burning like they were on fire. I pushed myself up and groaned heavily in the process. My guards tried to reach for me, but I growled in disapproval.
I hated how everyone had been treating me since my collapse, like a sick bird. I am their Alpha; they were never supposed to see me this vulnerable. I didn’t want anyone getting any idea of a rebellion or coup.
“If you all continue to spoon-feed me, then I'll never heal. And if I don’t heal fast, then other packs are eventually going to hear about this and try to use that to their advantage. Do any of you honestly think you’d survive another rogue attack?”
No one said anything as they all looked away.
“And if you kill yourself trying to prove a point, we all die in that rogue attack anyway.” Eris strolled into the training grounds looking as elegant as ever.
How was she glowing so much while I was slowly dying?
“Caspian only found a temporary solution,” Eris continued, her voice cool and annoyingly calm. “If you keep pushing yourself like this, you’re going to weaken the effects of his magic.”
“I wouldn’t have to push myself so much if these useless bastards knew how to do their damn jobs!” I roared, turning my anger on the guards. “It has been over a month since Thalia vanished. How hard is it to track a single scent?”
One of the guards swallowed hard, stepping forward. “We’ve been to the borderlands and back, Alpha. We’ve combed every neighboring village and town. There is no trace of her. She’s nowhere to be found.”
“So, what are you insinuating?” I bared my teeth, daring him to take it a step further.
Like a fool, he took the bait.
“That the only explanation for her complete disappearance... is that she’s dead. Her carcass was likely eaten by the wild boars in the borderlands. Just like they did to our other—”
Before the final word could leave his mouth, I swung my arm.
I hadn’t expected the blow to even touch him because of how weak I was. But not only did it touch him, it also sent him flying, and by the time he landed on the floor, half of his face was gone. Smashed and splattered all over the training grounds.
“s**t…” Eris groaned. “I’ve told you to control your strength! This is the second time this week. Are you trying to kill us all before the rogues even get here?!”
With a wave of her hand, she snapped at a nearby guard to drag the corpse away.
I looked down at my hands, wondering yet again where that sudden burst of strength came from. The first time it happened was two weeks ago, right after Caspian completed his temporary healing spell. I had still been shaky, but I was determined to get back on my feet. I was sparring with one of the elite trainers Eris had hired when I suddenly lost control and slit his throat with my claws.
Since that day, the volatile energy has been entirely out of my control. No matter how hard I fight it, I always end up scaring my pack, destroying property, or killing someone. On full moons, it gets so bad that I have to be chained and locked in the dungeons like a feral dog just to protect my own people from me.
What’s worse is the fact that I could still feel Thalia, still feel the connection we once shared. That is the only reason I refuse to believe she is dead.
I had tried explaining this to Eris, but she only shoved it under the rug, saying that it was the other half of her wolf playing tricks on my mind.
At night, everything intensified. I got wild, sudden urges to kill myself or to tear my skin open. I was running insane.
“I can’t keep living like this…” I cried out after another internal collapse.
The guards tried to hold me down, but I threw them off me. “Bring Caspian in here now!” I roared through the pain.
Since Thalia ran away, I had been surviving on medical concoctions and Caspian’s magic spells. What if I had decided to kill Caspian that night Thalia disappeared? I would have been a dead man, that’s for sure.
After Caspian came by and performed the temporary spell, he stood by my bed watching me.
“What the hell do you want?” I snapped, scowling at him.
I hadn’t forgiven him for trying to take Thalia away from me. The moment I was fully healed and Thalia was back in my arms, I was going to sever his head from his shoulders. But for now, I would use the bastard to stay alive.
He eyed me up and down as if disgusted by my existence.
“Keep looking at me like that, and I will gouge your f*****g eyes out,” I threatened him.
He looked me dead in the eye and chuckled, completely unfazed. “You and I both know I’m your most prized possession right now. If anything happens to me, you’re dead within days.”
He stepped closer, closing the distance between us. “It’s quite ironic, isn’t it?” he whispered, a sharp, mocking grin spreading across his face. “The stone the builder rejected has become the chief cornerstone.”
I wanted to break his jaw and wipe that f*****g grin off his f*****g face, but I knew if I swung my hand, his head would follow immediately. I couldn’t risk it. So, I forced myself to look away, painfully ignoring him. #
“Eris is right, you need to stop overworking yourself or your body will keep fighting my magic,” he spoke calmly this time, as if he actually cared. “I understand that you have a duty as an alpha, but if you don’t slow down now, you’re going to die long before we find a permanent solution to your condition.’
“And how do I know you aren’t the one behind all of this?” I hissed, glaring back at him. “I know you’re still hunting for Thalia yourself. What if this whole illness is just your twisted revenge for me taking back what belongs to me?”
He was quiet for a while, his eyes never leaving mine. After what felt like hours, a cold smile touched his lips. “If I wanted to kill you, I wouldn’t make it this enjoyable,” he murmured. “I would ensure you suffer a pain far worse than eternal damnation. You would beg for death and never find it. And the exact moment you try to cling to life, I would steal it from your hands like a thief in the night.”
Before I could react, he grabbed my face and blew a powdery substance into it. I wanted to fight back, scared that he might have poisoned me, but once my aching heart relaxed, a wave of profound relief washed over me, forcing my body to relax against my will.
He stared at me, and I watched his eyes fall to my lips. When he looked back up and realized I had caught him staring at my lips, he stepped back. “If you keep pushing yourself and making things difficult for my spell to work, I am going to kill you myself.”
Without another word, he walked out of my chambers without looking back.
I cleared my throat, trying to get rid of the sudden heat that had just crept up my neck
“Proud, spell-casting bastard,” I muttered to the empty room. “After Thalia is found, I am going to thoroughly enjoy killing you.”
- Writer
