I Don’t Think I Can Let You Go
1314 Words
**Thalia’s POV**
I leaned back, and he immediately followed, letting his weight press into me as he relaxed into the kiss. The edge of his wooden desk hit the back of my thighs, and I blindly grabbed it for support.
As if he noticed me struggling with standing, his palms moved from my waist to my ass as he effortlessly cupped my ass before lifting me to the top of the desk. His movements were definitely rough and eager, but he wasn’t aggressive about anything.
When I initiated this kiss, I planned on being in control till the very end, but with the way his tongue clashed against mine inside my mouth, I knew for a fact that I had lost this battle.
He devoured my mouth in a way that made my legs turn to water. I could feel heat rising in places I thought were dead. Adonis hadn’t touched me in a long time, even before the mating ceremony. I had been starved of affection, touch-deprived, and desperately needy, especially during my heat cycles.
Now being kissed like this on a random Tuesday by an extremely gorgeous Alpha was sending signals to my brain. I fought back for dominance as I wrapped my tongue against his.
“Thalia…” He groaned softly.
I lifted my knee and pushed it against his manhood. My God, he was well packaged. He hissed when my knee pressed his manhood down.
He didn’t want to break from the kiss, and honestly neither did I, so while still kissing me, he cleared a space on the desk and lifted me onto the edge.
With my legs wrapped around his waist, his hands began to roam around my whole body like he was trying to memorize every curve and contour of my body. I couldn’t be quiet anymore; my moans began to fill the room.
Everything felt good; every inch of my body was on fire.
Why didn’t Adonis handle me like this? Why was I not loved like this?
My mind began to spiral. Dion never said he loved me either; he just kept pining over his ex-mate who betrayed him. That means I was a placeholder, something to pass the time.
The thought of that immediately cooled down whatever heat that had been growing between my legs.
Before Dion’s hands could move to my breasts, I stopped him. I grabbed his hand and slowly pushed it away.
He looked up, searching my face, but the sudden weight of my own insecurities was too heavy. I couldn’t bring myself to meet his eyes, so I snapped my gaze away, staring at the floor.
“What’s wrong? Did I… did I do something you didn't like?” his voice came out soft and vulnerable.
I couldn’t tell him the truth. I couldn't admit that I was terrified of being a temporary bandage for his broken heart. So, I just lied.
“I’m tired,” I mumbled, gently pressing my palms against his chest to push him back as I walked to the door. “I need to rest for the field work tomorrow.”
“I don’t want you to leave,” he murmured just as my hand found the brass doorknob. “Would you just stay? Just next to me?” There wasn’t any authoritativeness to his tone. In fact, he stood there like a sick child calling out for his mother.
I could easily walk out that door, close it behind me, and keep playing our game of pretense. But the truth was, I had already grown completely tired of it all.
I nodded and walked back inside his chambers. Avoiding the desk, I walked over to his chair, sank into it, and stared blankly at the crackling fireplace. My lips still tingled from the kiss, retaining the ghost of his warmth, and I didn't want to wipe the sensation away.
He walked over to where I sat, and for a moment, I thought he was going to try to kiss me again, but instead, he sat next to me and rested his head on my shoulder. His body heat felt perfect next to mine, like the space next to me was always meant for him.
I could feel that familiar energy rising inside of me. I didn’t know what to do or how to react, so I just let him have his way. His head rested on my shoulder as if trying to apologize for something he had done or said to me.
I knew after tonight, everything would go back to how it was before now, like this whole thing never happened, so I leaned into him. My head fell on top of his. I wanted to hold him too, but I decided against it. I didn’t want to push my luck any further.
The night was quiet and cold, but because of the heat he emitted, I couldn’t feel any of it. I could still hear the sound of the drums and flute outside. I knew Natalie would have searched everywhere for me by now, but I didn’t bother standing up. Not even when Dion fell asleep, not when I was already dozing off myself, and not even when I heard Dion’s chamber doors open and close.
I let the darkness wrap me, and while I slept, I could have sworn I heard Dion saying things, but I was too sleepy to understand anything he said.
**DION’S POV**
I shouldn’t have done any of that. I don’t know what f*****g came over me. I should have pushed her off and stood my ground.
She must have felt nothing but pity for me, and kissed me to shut my whining ass up. “Dion, you stupid fool,” I muttered, the words filled with self-loathing.
I turned to where she lay on my bed.
The light from the moon flooded my room through the window and sat on her face. She looked extremely peaceful as she slept, the complete opposite of how she is when she opens her annoying mouth.
A mouth I just had against mine.
My mind kept replaying that kiss like a broken disk. I didn’t know how I was going to act around her anymore. I wanted to avoid her like I had done before, but I couldn’t, or rather, I didn’t want to. I wanted to be beside her every damn second of the day. I wanted to rest my head on her shoulder all over again and inhale her scent till all my brain can remember is her scent.
“f**k…” I cursed. This is what I wanted to avoid; this was what I dreaded. I was becoming weak and foolish all over again.
Some days I’d forget the pain of the betrayal my ex-mate showed me. Sometimes I even forgot his name, all because of her. The guilt I had felt because of that incident began to slip away after she told me it wasn’t my fault. I was changing, she was changing me, and that scared me.
What if she doesn’t want to be my second-chance mate? What if she only did all she did because she felt pity for me? What if she already had someone her heart belonged to?
These questions surrounded my head every single time I thought about her, but that wasn’t the major problem here. The problem that scared me wasn’t the fact that I was already falling for her or that there was every possibility that she'd reject me. No.
The problem that scared me was the fact that I was becoming territorial, angry, and upset when another male stood too close to her. The problem was that when the time finally came for her to leave this pack and go back to where she belonged, I was not too sure how confident I’d be in letting her go.
- Writer
