Up in the skies

Chapter 1

tw: suicide

"But why don't you want us to come?"

I just told my friends about my plan going on a vacation but all by myself. I don't want them to worry about me if they can't reach me, because I'm really planning to not be able to reach anyone.

"I'm sorry, Scarlet. But you know me, right? You know how much I always want to go by myself." Ever since I turned 18 I started to do everything by myself. I hate depending on someone.

"Nat has a point, Scarlet. And we also know how Nat deserves to have vacation, because ever since she started working for their company she hasn't been on vacation." My friend Anna said. The two of them have been my friends since high school, that's why they know me so well.

"But you will still contact us if you have time? Your vacation is kinda long." I smiled as I heard Scarlet say. Between Scarlet and Anna, Scarlet is the most caring to me and Anna. She always wants the best for us.

"I will not worry." Both of them nodded, that's why I smiled at them. "For now let's enjoy this day with the three of us." I announce and the two become smiley again.

I don't know what's going to happen if these two find out about me. I don't want them to be so sad, but I know that they will still be sad if that day comes. But for now I want them to think nothing but only the good things. And if ever I really disappear I want them to remember a lot of good things about me. That's why we are now creating more memories for us.

Even though we are already at the age of 22, we still went to the sports zone and acted like we were still teenagers. Our inner child is always showing when the three of us are together. It's really hard if you push yourself to be grownup as fast as you can. Because once you finally grow up, the things that make a child excited is also making you excited because you haven't experienced it when you are still a child.

"Oh my god! Look I got it!" Anna announced looking excited when she got a teddy bear from the claw machine. Scarlet is also so excited about it.

"God! It's so cute!" Seeing both of them happy makes me also happy. I get my phone and capture that moment. "Why are you taking pictures of us, let's take a group picture." Scarlet pulled me and reached for my phone.

"1 2 3!" Anna counted as the three of us smiled and Scarlet captured it. I can't help but to feel emotional. I don't want to leave these two but I have no choice. This meant to happen.

"I'm hungry, where should we eat?" Scarlet asks while giving me my phone. Both of them think.

"I saw a food stall there, let's try it." I said and the two of them just agreed that's why we went there.

We finished the day being so tired, but we are happy. I send them to their home, because I am the only one who brings her car. After sending them I went home to my condo. As soon as I enter my condo I feel so empty. I want to ask what makes him choose me to give this kind of illness, because all my life I did only the good things. Am I too good? That's why he gave this to me.

I don't want to leave like this. I don't want to leave my family, and friends like this. They all needed me in their life. But what can I do? I can't just deal with him and tell him that I can do anything just for him to give me more time to live my life. After breaking down because of a lot of thoughts I had I went to my room and started to pack my things. I still haven't decided on where to go or what to do for my vacation. But maybe I'll just do it freestyle. Because that's what I always do whenever I go on vacation.

I packed some of my things. I only pack those things that I badly need, since I can just buy some things. After doing everything I went to rest, since I'm planning to leave for tomorrow.

As soon as I woke up from my alarm I immediately saw my friends and my family's message to me.

Scarlet:

Take care wherever you're going. Make sure that you bought all of your things. Also bought some self defense kit since you're traveling alone. Message me if you have something to say or you feel lonely while traveling. I'll do anything in one call.

I smile reading her message. I want to say sorry in advance to her, because I know I will break her heart once she finds out about my illness.

Anna:

Make sure that you are safe anywhere you go, buy a lot of things. If you suddenly change your mind and want to travel with someone, Scarlet and I are just one call away. You can call us everything. Stay safe, Nat.

Mommy:

Stay safe, sweetheart.

Nerwin:

Stay safe, Sis. And bought me a lot of stuff. I will miss you.

I laugh with Nerwin's message. After reading their message I went to prepare myself for leaving. After having bed for my breakfast I went to take a shower and do my routine. Before I leave my condo I make sure that I don't leave my things. I also leave some notes in my condo incase that I haven't able to come here after the vacation. I look at my phone and search for the place I'm going. I actually haven't known this place, but google says that it's the best place to have a vacation because the scenery is so good.

Driving on my way I jam with my playlist. For today I won't think about anything, not even my illness. I want to feel free for a short period of time. The ride is too long. I didn't expect that it would be so long. I even took some stopover so I could rest.

"Excuse me, perhaps do you know where this hotel is located?" I have already arrived at the place but I don't know where the hotel I booked is.

"It's the nearby hotel. Just straight ahead and you will see a huge banner saying to turn left and the end of that way will lead you to that hotel" The one I asked out answered and I immediately said my thank you to them and went back to my car.

I swear I really feel tired right now. I leave my place at around 9am but it's already 1pm. My ride took a lot of hours, for sure I will just immediately feel sleepy as soon as I arrive at my hotel room. I'm not really planning to stay here for so long, maybe two months is already fine. Since I'm planning to go to more places. I finally arrived at the hotel.

"Reservations for Natasha Villiaflor." I said at the front desk and showed them my id so they won't ask if that's me.

"Yes, ma'am. It's in room 214 on the second floor. Here's your keys." She gave me my keys and I looked into it.

"Thank you."

"Enjoy your stay." I nodded and immediately went to the elevator with my luggage. The bellboy helped me since I bought kinda a lot of stuff.

When I finally arrived at my room I couldn't hide my happiness, because the room looked so good and it had a beautiful view of the town.

"I'll just do it here, ma'am." The bellboy said that's why I looked at him. "We also have a rooftop so you can enjoy the view." I nodded

"Thank you."

"Enjoy your stay, ma'am." I nodded and he finally left me. I opened the curtain and saw how beautiful my view was.

I just went to the bathroom to take a shower since I feel so tired and I want some cold shower. Staying at the bathtub I have wine and a scented candle on my side. I almost fell asleep, that's why I immediately stood up and finished my shower. Wearing only my bathrobe I lay on the bed and fell asleep.

I woke up and it's already dark outside. That's why I ordered dinner from the front desk. I will just have a tour around tomorrow since I'm really tired today. My dinner is just simple steak and I also ordered some alcoholic drinks since I want to cool down for tonight. I'm not really a heavy drinker, that's why I was just almost in a half when the alcohol hit me. I'm kinda dizzy when I went outside and went for a walk. The bellboy said that they have a rooftop and it's already dark. That's why I want to watch the stars and the moon. Since my room is only on the 2nd floor and this hotel had 7 floors that's why the elevator took so long, and the fact that I'm kinda dizzy that's why I feel more dizzy because of the elevator.

I immediately arrived at the rooftop and I can say that it's really huge and looks so good to watch stars and the moons. I'm having the time of my life while watching them when someone caught my attention. I felt awake the moment I saw it. There's a guy standing at the edge of the rooftop. My jaw almost dropped with the sight.

"Hey!" I immediately caught his attention and ran towards him. He looked at me, his brows furrowed. "What are you doing there?"

"What do you think I'm doing here? Just leave me, okay." The hell is the problem of this guy. I don't know what to do.

"Don't do stupid things like that." I said and he turned his head again to me. "Are you not thinking about what your family and friends will feel if they find this out?"

"And why do you care!? Stop saying that it's beautiful to live, because not everything is like the way you live." He's right, everyone has their own way to deal with their lives. If people think life is beautiful, some are not.

"But have you really thought about it? Do you really want to die like that? Do you want to end the pain in that way?" He suddenly lowered his head. I know that not all people who suffer like him do not want to die. They wanted to live more than they wanted to die, but they only saw death as the only way they could escape the pain.

"This is the only way so I could stop the pain." I can feel in his voice how in pain he is. I reach my hand to him.

"There's a lot of ways to stop the pain, not just like this. So why not try those things and not this?" I said while my hand was still offering to him to take it I saw how his eyes looked at my hand.

He's about to reach my hand but there is a sudden hard wind hitting both of them that causes him to lose his balance. I'm fast enough to grab him, but it causes the both of us to fall in the ground. He's on top of me, and me hitting my back on the ground.

"Are you okay?" My initial reaction was to ask him, but I saw how his eyes looked at me with full shock. That made me so confused.

I sighed when he removed himself on top of me and lay on the ground next to me. That's almost it. I admit that it really scared me.