CHAPTER 19I could not expect him before sunset. And refusing to appear over eager, I allowed him two hours after that to extricate himself from the celebrations and ride across the city.
It was the hardest two hours I had ever spent, desperately trying to occupy myself, alternately plaguing my surprised parents for conversation they were too tired to give, and seeking solitude or study in my own chamber. By the time I allowed myself to go warily down to the garden, I hated my pleasant chamber with its warm hangings, its heavily curtained window looking down onto the street below and its unusual carved figures in gold and wood, and the scattering of rare books and papers upon my table. None of it could keep my mind for longer than half a minute.
I walked slowly, seeing no one on the way,
