Stitches and Scars

Chapter 5

Strangers POV:

What could a man like him possibly want with that f*****g w***e? She's probably a damn crackhead who owes him money and now he's coming to collect. He'll most likely kill her. Good that's what the f*****g b***h gets for not letting me finish and for f*****g stabbing me! Now let's call this prick so I can get my money and leave.

"Sir I got the information."

"Good, meet me at the bar called the Sunken Ship on Friday at 9:00 pm."

"Will do."

Now all that's left to do is wait. Who knows maybe now that I have all her personal information I could find her and finish what I started and make her pay dearly for what she did to me.

Alina's POV:

"Thank you again for everything."

"It's no big deal. Besides Miguel and Carla are paying me back this weekend," she says with a teasing smirk on her lips.

"How could I forget."

"I sent over a prescription for Vicodin to your pharmacy. It should help with the pain. I'll come over in two weeks to remove your sutures and do a check up."

"I appreciate the offer, but its really not necessary."

"I insist." 

"Okay I guess."

I quickly ran up to her and hugged her catching her off guard. I felt her body stiffen for a moment, but then I felt her muscles relax and she hugged me back not too tightly due to my injuries. She quietly whispered in my ear, "If you ever need to talk you know where to find me."

I nodded reassuring Addie that I had heard her and then backed away from our embrace. Carla, Miguel, and I said our last thank you's and good byes and returned to our apartment.

"So how about we binge watch on some Netflix short stack? We could watch Sword Art Online I know how much you love that anime," said Miguel.

"Actually I think I'm going to go lay down for a moment, I'm feeling a bit tired."

"Okay let me or or Carla know if you need anything."

"Okay," I replied. I slowly went up the stairs still in pain from the incident. When I reached the top step I hid behind the wall eavesdropping on Miguel and Carla's conversation.

"Amor (love) do you think she will be okay?" asked Carla.

"Honestly I don't know baby she's been through a lot and now this," said Miguel while running his fingers through his hair. He tended to do this a lot when he felt anxious or frustrated. I think Carla noticed because she gently tugged his arm so he could sit on the couch. She instantly climbed onto his lap and snuggled into his chest. I could tell he immediately relaxed under her touch.

"Miguel?"

"Yeah baby?"

"Do you think HE sent someone to harm her?

"No," mumbled Miguel

"How do you know?"

"Because that deranged psychopath thrived off of hurting her so he definitely would have done it himself."

"Yeah I guess your right, but I'm still worried about her."

"Me too baby."

"I just wish I could do more to help her," said Carla.

"I know amor (love), but you saw how she reacted last time we tried to talk her into getting help. She's just not ready."

"Do you think she will ever be ready?"

"If I'm being truly honest no."

"Miguel!"

"What? I was being honest."

"Have a little more faith in her."

"It's not about faith baby, it's about being realistic and stating the facts. She has been through more things then the average person will ever have to endure in a lifetime and because of that she's struggling."

"She just needs more time."

"Maybe, but it's been three years now and I don't see her getting any better."

"You can't say that. Do you remember after Sophia died how depressed she was. Look at her now she was able to finish school and become a nurse. Its been over a year since she last tried to hurt herself. So you can't say she's not getting better."

"Baby, even way before Sophia's death she was depressed. Sophia just made it more tolerable, but after she died it was like the final straw. Yeah I'll admit, in some aspects she's gotten better, but I can tell something is wrong. Have you noticed she has no social life. No hobbies. No friends."

"She has us and she does too have hobbies she likes watching animes and reading. She might even have other secret hobbies we're unaware of though I'm not entirely sure."

"If you can even call those hobbies. The deal is all she ever does is work, train, and stay locked up in her room. Sometimes we don't even see her."

"That's not true. What about yesterday?"

"Really? That was probably the longest I've seen or spoken to her in a week." 

"Okay so maybe we don't see her as often as we'd like, but maybe she just needs a break from everything especially with her crazy work schedule."

"Baby, its like she's on mechanical mode, she's always trying to stay busy. Avoiding everything at all costs. She's alive, but at the same time it's like she's not."

"Explain please?"

"I get the feeling that Alina is only alive because she feels obligated. Like if it...

-Flashback-

"Please Alina I can't lose you. If you have nothing to live for then live for me, but please don't leave me. Please."

-End of Flashback-

were up to her she would be dead."

I can see Carla sobbing quietly into Miguel's shirt his embrace tightens around her.

"Shhhh. It's going going to be okay baby," said Miguel in a quiet soothing voice. He lifted her face up and placed peppered kisses on her forehead.

"I just want her to be happy, she's my best friend," said Carla as she continued to cry.

"I know baby."

"Why did that monster have to hurt her so much? Why? She didn't deserve any of it!"

Miguel gently dried her tears with his thumb, and continued to hug her. I decided I'd heard enough and got up and went to my room locking the door behind me. 

Miguel's right my only reason for living is because I was begged not to die. If it were up to me I would have been dead a long time ago. I've lost count of how many times I tried to commit suicide sometimes it wasn't even on purpose, but subconsciously I think I knew I wanted to die too. I can't remember what it's like to be happy, I can't remember what it's like to smile for no particular reason. Have I always been like this? Numb. Immune to any human emotion? I take that back I can feel, I do possess some type of emotion. Emotions I wish I didn't feel, emotions I wish I could numb away because besides the numbness all I feel is anger and sadness. These feelings consume me to the brink of madness. As well as the demons lurking in the shadows of my mind. Their too much for me at times and all I want to do is seize their bickering and silence them once and for all. 

That's exactly what happened a year ago. I was so tired of the voices in my head, I yearned for silence. So I did what I knew would achieve that euphoric feeling, the feeling of undisturbed peace. I slit my wrists. I was in a coma for three weeks. Honestly, I was ready to die, but they kept bringing me back unwilling to let me go. You know how they say people in commas can't hear what you say well their wrong! I could hear everyone loud and clear. I remember hearing Miguel and Carla cry, cursing me for what I did, and begging God to help me live. 

My chances for survival were slim to none. The odds stacked against me, and I was okay with that. I was ready. I would finally have the peace I so desperately sought until Carla started begging, begging for me to live. No one had ever begged me. So I did or so I've tried. I really have tried, but I can't lie every day is so freaking hard. I find I distance myself from Miguel and Carla sometimes depression being the culprit. I just don't have the energy to plaster on a smile and pretend to be okay when quite honestly I just want to be left alone.

I heard a knock at my door that snapped me out of my thoughts.

"Hey babygirl, Miguel and I are about to make enchiladas for dinner do you want some?"

"No thanks Carla I'm not really hungry."

"Oh okay, well I'll leave some in the fridge if you decide you want some later."

"Thanks," I heard her say while hearing her feet shuffle into the background.

I walk to the bathroom and look at my reflection. I observe the stitches, the swelling, and bruising on my face and feel disgust for what I see. Todo esto es tu culpa! (This is all your fault!) I feel the rage running through me and so I swing and my fist makes contact with the mirror shattering it to pieces. 

I grab a shard piece of glass and start sliding it along my thigh plunging it deeper until the skin breaks and blood begins to ooze out. I have to punish, I have to destroy that which I hate the most in this world. Myself.