The Afterlife Academy Saga

Chapter 27

27

At some point, Brynhild brought me back to the dormitory. As usual, students were whispering, but I couldn’t hear what they were saying. It didn’t really matter. They’d been doing that since the day I arrived.

Ryoko answered the door, polite as ever. “I’ll take it from here.”

With her arm around me, she dragged me into the room and onto the bed. Pickles huffed when she had to leave the pillow, but stayed on the edge.

“Ylva. You look terrible.”

“Hah, really? I feel it.”

She pressed a hand on my forehead. “You’re burning up.”

“Funny you should say that.” All my words came out as a mumble, but who cared? Nothing I had to say was important anyway.

“You need to sleep.”

Her concern was annoying me.

Irritated, I waved her away. “Stop fussing over me. You’re not my mother.”

Hurt flashed across her features. “I know. I’m just trying to take care of you.”

“Well, don’t. I don’t deserve it. I don’t need it.”

“Don’t be silly. Everyone deserves that.”

I threw my pillow away in an outburst of anger. “Don’t you understand what we did? We knew someone was going to die and we didn’t tell anyone. We just kept pretending it was fine. That it would just be someone that didn’t matter.”

“Ylva, we didn’t know who—”

“Oda mattered! She died on her own, quietly in a library, of all things. If we’d told people, they could’ve said goodbye. It could have been a beautiful death. We robbed her of that.”

“But we didn’t know! And your teacher told you not to tell anyone. If anything, it’s her responsibility. She’s the adult.”

“No, no. Don’t play that card on me. I’m responsible for me.”

“We’re just teenagers,” she tried.

“That doesn’t matter! That doesn’t make me innocent!” I shouted.

“I’m not your enemy, Ylva,” she said, her voice soft and brittle.

“Stop saying my name like you mean something to me.”

Ryoko ran her hands through her hair, her voice strained. “I don’t understand. I thought we were okay, more than okay? What changed?”

“Everything! Don’t you see?! I’m rotten to the core.”

Her expression changed as she reached out to me. “I don’t think so. I think you’re amazing.”

I slapped her hand away. “Then you’re delusional. We both were. Thinking we could kiss and nothing bad would happen? Hah, we were fools.”

“Stop. Your words are hurting me.”

But I couldn’t stop, not even if I wanted to. The poison spilled out of me like an unstoppable waterfall, destroying everything and anything around me.

“You don’t understand. You can’t understand. You’re only a Dragon.” The moment the sentence left my mouth, I knew I went too far. But it was too late. I said it.

Ryoko’s face turned pale and her hands shook in anger. She got up from the bed and snagged Pickles away. “I’ve heard many elementals say it like that, but I never thought I’d hear it from your mouth. How dare you, Ylva Helgudóttir. How dare you?”

I turned on my side and pulled the blankets over my head. I didn’t have the energy for this. My rotten heart was hurting too much.

Ryoko scoffed. “Fine. Message received. I won’t bother you anymore.”

“Good!” I called after her, just rubbing more salt into the wound.

“Good!”

The door slammed hard in the lock and I knew I was alone again. Good. She was better off without me ruining her life. She deserved better than a Shadow Walker.

I sat up on the bed and threw the blankets away. They were too annoying.

“Hfff?” Pickles wobbled to me and rubbed herself against my leg. Her affection tugged on my heart, but it couldn’t melt the ice.

“Oh, what do you know? You’re just a ball of fluff.”

Her ears fell down and she made a soft whimper. Her white eyes trembled as she scrambled away and hid under her bed.

Shit. What was wrong with me?

I crossed the room and knelt down. “I’m sorry, Pickles.”

“Hff!” She flashed her spines and turned her back at me.

“I’m sorry. It’s all my fault.”

The dust bunny shook her body. “Hff.”

“I was just so angry. I didn’t mean to say such awful things.” My conversation with Ryoko was fresh in my memory. “I said lots of awful things. Forgive me?”

The bunny under the bed stayed silent, which was just what I deserved. What kind of monster was I? Lashing out at a bunny?

I sat back down on my bed, my head in my hands. What was I doing? Why did I feel this way? Where did this big ball of rage in my chest come from? Why did I feel so… Angry. So helpless. I wanted to scream, but my voice didn’t work. I wanted to cry, but I had no tears.

Desperate, I clutched at my heart. Why did it hurt so much? Why wouldn’t it stop? If it kept going, it would consume me and everything that I touched.