The Afterlife Academy Saga

Chapter 25

25

Silence.

Disappointment fell on my stomach, revealing my true feelings. Damn it. I didn't like how we were acting around each other. I'd tried to bridge the distance, but she hadn't let me. Stupid me and my big mouth.

I dropped my bag of unused books on the floor and tipped my shoes off. My noise was met with an excited shuffling from underneath Ryoko's bed.

"Hey, Pickles."

I knelt down to wiggle my finger through the cage. I had no idea when my roommate last fed her, but the dust bunny was hungrily eyeing the box of cotton balls on the side.

"Just one, okay?" I said, trying to sound stern.

Pickles tweaked an ear which I took as an agreement. Good bunny. Despite our rocky start, I’d become attached to the ball of fluff. Having her here helped with missing Hyde and every moment my heart didn’t ache for my missing wolf, was a good moment.

I pushed a piece of cotton through the cage, waving it in front of Pickles' nose. "Num, num."

With a little hop, she stole the white fluff from me and happily jumped to the back of her cage where she disappeared in her house.

"Well, that's nice. And I thought we were becoming friends," I scoffed, shaking my head. "But then, what do I know..."

I fished some cardboard slivers from the food tray and stuck them through the cage, hoping to lure the bunny back out. Apart from some scratching and shuffling, it didn't look like Pickles was interested after she had her favourite cotton ball.

"I guess not then." I dropped the cardboard and sat back up, leaning against Ryoko's bed. Only when she wasn't here I realised how much I liked her presence, even if we spent most of it in silence. There was something reassuring about the sound of turning pages and the occasional cough.

But without her... Just the occasional groan of the wind teasing the building and the passing chatter of students.

It was ironic how I was so opposed to having her as my roommate and now I couldn't imagine sharing with anyone else.

I heard the rattling of keys, and just like Pickles, I perked up from the sound. The door cracked open and as if summoned by my thoughts, Ryoko came in.

"Hi," I said, just a little too fast.

"I'm back." She hung her sweater on the hook instead of just throwing it across the room like I had and placed her shoes next to mine.

"How are you?" I asked, eager to strike up a conversation, no matter how insignificant.

"I'm well. You?"

"Not too bad."

She crossed the room, pausing in front of me. "Ummm..."

"Oh, sorry. I'll move." I pushed myself up, suddenly very close to the girl in front of me. Her eyes widened, but she didn't say anything.

A strange feeling curled through my stomach and quickly spread to the rest of my limbs. Whenever I was this close to her, I always felt hot. I figured it had to do with the temperature of her skin, but the longer it went on, the less convinced I was about my logic.

"I..." I swallowed my words, making myself take a deep breath to calm my jitters.

A flicker of gold flitted through her eyes. "Yes?"

My chest tightened as I averted my gaze. I wanted something, I knew I did. I just couldn't identify what that something was. Every time I looked at Ryoko, that same sensation hit me. It teased me, like forgotten words on the tip of the tongue, so close I could almost put a name to it. It just kept slipping through my metaphorical fingers, like sand lost in the wind.

There was something about this girl and I knew it was staring me right in the face. I just couldn't put my finger on it.

"Ylva?"

A shiver ran down my spine from the way she said my name. "Yes?"

"Nothing."

Disappointed, I sank on my own bed. Desperate to keep the conversation going, I racked my brain for any topic. Oh, right. Flavia.

"Hey, so earlier I was in the dining hall and Sim stirred up trouble again," I said, recalling the incident.

"And?"

"He just came to flash his scythe and crush my crackers. Honestly, not sure what his problem is or why he—" I caught myself in my rant and stopped. "Doesn't matter. Anyway, Flavia came to defend me. You know her, right?"

Ryoko pulled a face. "You've mentioned her."

"Well, I asked for her help. If I'm going to travel back into the Veil without, you know, permanently staying dead... We're going to need help. Right?"

My question hung in the air, unanswered for a moment too long.

With a sigh, my roommate turned her back to me and crouched down. "Sure."

"She's invited me up to her room tomorrow to talk."

"Great."

I waited, wondering if she had anything else to stay, but she stayed silent. Instead of talking to me, she whispered some nonsense to Pickles and pushed a cotton ball into the cage.

I cleared my throat. "Actually, I fed her earlier."

Ryoko's shoulders tensed visibly before she rose and threw the ball of fluff in the corner. "Fine. Looks like you've got everything sorted then. I'll just be useless then."

"Woah." I held up my hands. "What's wrong?"

She turned to glare at me, her eyes burning with a dark fire. "You're so clueless sometimes, Ylva."

"What do you mean? I don't know what you're talking about." Even I heard how weak my defence sounded.

"Nothing, it doesn't matter." The chill in her voice sent shivers down my spine. It was awful when anyone talked like that, but it was even worse coming from Ryoko.

She bowed as she grabbed her bag. "I'll leave you to it. Sorry for disrupting you."

"Hey!" I chased after her, catching her by the arm. "Don't walk out on me. We're in the middle of a conversation."

"Are we?" She frowned, thunderclouds hanging on her forehead.

"Yes?"

"Really? It just seems like you're deciding whatever we're doing and letting me know. That's not a conversation, Ylva."

Her words struck through me. "That's not fair. Ryoko."

"Is it not? You just decided my feelings don't matter and that you didn't want to lose me as a friend. You're the one that's hellbent on dying to get the wolves back. Oh, and now you're getting involved with Flavia."

I scoffed. "Okay, that's definitely not fair. I never said your feelings don't matter, I just don't feel the same. That's not my fault. I have no choice in getting the wolves back. You'd do the same for Pickles. And I'm not involved with Flavia. She's just a friend."

Ryoko let out puff of smoke. "Yes, I've seen just how you treat your 'friends'."

"Hey! That's not—"

"Fair? You keep saying that. I'm so sorry I've inconvenienced you with my presence and my feelings. Why don't I turn into a cotton ball too, huh?"

Despite the intensity of the argument, I snorted. Maybe it was exactly because of the serious nature of our conflict.

"What?" she growled, her eyes spitting fire.

"I'm sorry, I was just picturing you as a cotton ball. You'd get eaten by Pickles," I said, hoping to lighten the mood.

My roommate narrowed her eyes, glaring angrily. Maybe not then.

"Sorry. I'm just... I don't want to fight with you, believe me. It's the opposite of what I want," I sighed, sitting down on my bed. "I'm sorry, Ryoko. You're right, I've been inconsiderate. I'm just confused. You confuse me."

She sat down too, sighing deeply. "Why?"

"I don't know how to fix this."

"This?"

I gestured to the space between us. "This."

"I can't just turn my feelings off."

I hid my face in my hands. "I know. I'm not saying you should. In fact, I think I'm mostly hurt by you acting cold towards me. It makes no sense to me."

"What?"

"You said you liked me, and yet, you're colder than ever. It's just confusing to me."

Ryoko groaned. "That's because you don't feel the same."

"But... I don't want you to stop being you. I liked our dynamic."

She shot me a look. "So... You don't want me to stop flirting with you, but you're not interested in reciprocating?"

"Yes. No. I don't know!" I banged my fist against my forehead, realising how I was coming across. "I'm sorry. This is clearly my issue. I need to work on it."

The girl across me sighed, her face falling. "No, it's not just your issue. I'm sorry too. I'm just... I guess I'm jealous. It's not your fault you don't feel the same."

I frowned. "Jealous? Of what?"

"Flavia. You should hear yourself when you talk about her. You sound so in awe of her."

"Because I am. She's a role model, that's all."

"You know what? It doesn't matter. It's none of my business." She hugged her knees, making me wonder if she was secretly wiping tears away. I hoped not.

Exhausted, I ran my hands through my hair. I already made a mess out of my entire life and this was just the cherry on top. I didn't want to fight with Ryoko and she had no reason to be jealous. There was even less between Flavia and I than between the two of us.

"I'm not in love with Flavia, okay? I've only asked for her help because I don't know who else to ask. If you're so worried, why don't you come along tomorrow?"

Surprised, Ryoko looked up at me. For a moment, she seemed lost for words before she composed herself again. "I don't know about that," she said.

"Why not? I'm sure she won't mind."

"I'm a Dragon."

I chuckled. "Believe me, I've noticed."

"They all look at me like I don't belong already. I don't want to make it worse."

Wishing I was closer so I could reach out and reassure her, I settled for shooting her a smile. "It'll be okay. You don't have to come along, but you can if you want to. I just asked because I have nothing to hide, okay? And we're still a team, regardless of how things are between us."

"I guess so. I'll think about it." She picked at a loose thread of her shirt and rose from her bed. "I'm going to shower."

"You shower a lot," I pointed out.

"It's the only room where you're not," she retorted.

"But I could be," I shot back, scrunching my nose. "Sorry, I just heard myself."

She chuckled softly. "You're certainly something."

Before I could reply, she grabbed her towel and disappeared into the bathroom. The ventilation fan's noise would drown out anything else I could shouted after her, so I didn't bother.

Wiped out from our argument, I got up to close the blinds and threw my sleeping shirt on. It wasn't anywhere near bed time, but I wanted to catch some extra hours so I didn't oversleep in the morning. Besides, there wasn't anything else to do in here. Not when Ryoko and I were caught in this awkward web of tension.

It would be better soon, when she fell out of love with me. Or if I fell in love with her...