Christian (bxb)

Space to breathe

(Christian)

We stayed in the forest until my breathing returned to normal. None of them mentioned the party or tried to convince me to go back. Greyson stood in front of me while Mason and Jaxon remained close on either side. For once, their attention didn’t feel like something I had to escape.

“We should probably let everyone know you’re okay,” Greyson said. His voice stayed careful, like he thought the wrong words might make me start running again. “Your parents are worried.” He didn’t tell me that I had to return.

I looked toward the path leading back to the pack house. I could still see the lights through the trees, but the music had stopped. That probably meant everyone knew I was missing by now. I could already imagine Pop pacing through the house while Dad tried to keep him calm.

“I don’t want to go back to the party,” I said. My voice sounded rough after crying. “I can’t stand in front of everyone and pretend nothing happened.” I didn’t have enough energy left for that.

“You don’t have to,” Mason said. “The party’s over.” He glanced toward the pack house before looking back at me. “Father sent everyone home when they realized you were gone.”

My stomach dropped. “Alpha King Jacob knows?”

“All of them know,” Jaxon said. “Your parents, our parents.” He paused before adding, “Nobody’s angry with you.”

“They should be.” I wiped my face again, even though my sleeve was already damp. “They planned all of that for me, and I ran away.” I didn’t even say goodbye to anyone.

Greyson shook his head. “You got overwhelmed.” He looked at Mason and Jaxon before turning back to me. “We should’ve noticed before you had to run.”

I didn’t know what to say to that. I’d spent so long believing they never noticed when I was uncomfortable. Maybe they had noticed and ignored it, or maybe they really hadn’t understood how bad it was. Either answer made my chest hurt for a different reason.

“Can we walk back slowly?” I asked. “I’m not ready to see everyone yet.” I looked down at the ground between us. “I just need a little more time.”

“We’ll take as long as you need,” Mason said.

We started toward the pack house, but nobody walked ahead of me. Greyson stayed on my left while Mason and Jaxon kept to my right. They didn’t touch me, and I appreciated that more than I could explain. They were close without making me feel surrounded.

The silence between us wasn’t uncomfortable anymore. I kept expecting one of them to bring up the bond or ask if I could feel it. They didn’t. They let me focus on putting one foot in front of the other.

After a few minutes, Jaxon looked over at me. “Do you want me to distract you?”

“With what?”

“I have several embarrassing stories about Greyson.” His face stayed completely serious. “Some involve him falling out of trees.”

Greyson gave him a look. “You fell first.”

“That’s not the point.”

A laugh escaped me before I could stop it. It wasn’t much, but all three of them noticed. Jaxon smiled like he’d accomplished exactly what he wanted, and I looked away before he could make a big deal out of it.

The pack house grew closer with every step. The lights were still on, but the yard was empty now. Decorations from the party remained around the porch, and a large banner with my name hung over the front door. Seeing it made guilt settle in my stomach again.

Pop was waiting on the porch.

He came down the steps the second he saw me. Dad followed behind him, with Arlo and Alpha King Jacob close behind. Pop looked like he wanted to run straight toward me, but Dad caught his arm and said something too quietly for me to hear.

That stopped him.

The fact that he stopped mattered.

I walked the rest of the way on my own. The triplets stayed a few steps behind me, giving me enough room to approach my family without feeling watched. Pop’s eyes moved over my face, taking in the redness around my eyes and the dirt on my clothes.

“Christian,” he said. His voice broke around my name. “Are you hurt?”

“No.”

“Did something happen?”

“I just needed to get away.” I shoved my hands into my pockets. “I’m sorry I ruined everything.”

“You didn’t ruin anything,” Dad said immediately. He stepped closer but didn’t touch me. “We should’ve paid more attention to how you were feeling.”

Pop looked at him, then back at me. “I thought you were ready.”

“I’m not.” The words came out faster than I meant them to. “I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready, and everyone keeps talking about the triplets like it’s already decided.”

Pop’s face fell. “I didn’t mean to make you feel trapped.”

“But you did.” I hated the hurt in his eyes, but I couldn’t take the words back. “You and Arlo keep saying they’re my mates. You talk like I don’t get a choice.”

Arlo lowered his head. “You’re right.”

I looked at him, surprised.

“We got carried away,” he continued. “We were excited because we thought we knew what your future would look like.” His expression was serious now. “That doesn’t mean we had the right to plan it for you.”

Pop nodded slowly. “I’m sorry.”

The apology should’ve made everything easier, but it didn’t. I still felt guilty for saying any of it. I knew they loved me. That was probably what made it harder.

Dad finally reached for my hand. He moved slowly enough that I could’ve pulled away, but I didn’t. “You don’t have to decide anything tonight.” His thumb moved once across my knuckles. “You turned eighteen today. That doesn’t mean you suddenly owe everyone an answer.”

I looked toward Alpha King Jacob. He’d stayed quiet the entire time, watching without stepping in. When our eyes met, he gave me the same calm look he always did. The one that reminded me I still had control over my own life.

“What about my wolf?” I asked. “Why isn’t he here?”

Everyone went quiet.

That scared me more than any answer could’ve.

Pop looked at Dad before turning back to me. “Sometimes wolves come later.”

“How much later?”

“A few hours,” Arlo said. “Sometimes a few days.”

“And if he doesn’t?”

“We’ll figure that out if it happens,” Dad said. “But we’re not going to assume something is wrong with you.”

“It feels wrong.” My voice dropped. “Everyone else met their wolf when they turned eighteen.”

“Not everyone,” Alpha King Jacob said. It was the first time he’d spoken since I returned. “There are wolves who emerge late, especially when the person is under a lot of stress.”

I looked at him. “So running away could’ve stopped it?”

“No.” His answer came without hesitation. “You didn’t cause this, Christian.”

I wanted to believe him. Alpha King Jacob rarely said anything unless he was certain, and that helped a little. It still didn’t silence the fear that something inside me was missing.

Pop finally opened his arms. He didn’t move closer or assume I wanted the hug. He just waited. I hesitated for a second before stepping into them.

He held me tightly, but not enough to make me feel trapped. Dad joined us a moment later, pressing a kiss to the top of my head. Arlo rested a hand on my shoulder while Alpha King Jacob remained nearby.

“I’m sorry,” Pop whispered.

“I know.”

When they let me go, I turned toward Greyson, Mason, and Jaxon. They were standing near the bottom of the steps. None of them looked angry or impatient.

“We’ll leave you alone tonight,” Greyson said. “You should be with your family.”

I stared at him. “You’re not staying?”

He shook his head. “You asked for space.”

Something strange pulled at my chest. I’d wanted them to listen, and now that they were, part of me didn’t know what to do with it. I wasn’t ready to accept them, but I didn’t want them to disappear either.

“You don’t have to leave completely,” I said. “Just don’t follow me everywhere.”

Jaxon’s smile returned, but it was smaller than usual. “We can do that.”

“Can you?” I asked.

“We can try,” Mason said.

That was probably the most honest answer he could’ve given me.

Greyson held my gaze for another second. “Goodnight, Christian.”

“Goodnight.”

They walked away together, heading toward the path that led to their family’s section. I watched until the trees blocked them from view. Only then did I realize the tight feeling in my chest hadn’t disappeared with them.

I didn’t know what that meant.

I wasn’t ready to call it a bond, and I wasn’t ready to accept that they might really be my mates. But ever since this all started, I wondered if running from them had been about more than fear. Maybe part of me had known that once I stopped, everything would begin to change.