Likaonia

XVI.Chapter I Part I Act X Abbeus

We at last came to Jerusalem.

Abbeus.

An old friend.

Very good with money.

Judaism.

The conflict between neighbours.

The long roadtrip gave me time to rest.

Fisk like always gaveme company.

Husk was very excited to meet Lykourus.

The rest of the group where concetrated on there own intrest.

"You seem to bee lost in thought "-Said fisk with an concerned expression on his face.

" Dont need to worry" - I said with a forced smile - "Im just lost in my thoughts."

"How could I not be concerned when I see you like this?"- He seems annoyed and irytated. Nervously smiling.

"I'm just thinking. About my past. About my plans. About our choices."- I said trying to calm him down and assure him that everything is ok- "I know that you are here for me dont worry.I just need to clear my mind."

I looked at the rest of the group.

The husky talked excitedly to the young wolf.

Tommy was sitting on the tablet.

Tina was preparing some medications.

Sanna was sitting on the laptop while Lars was talking to the driver. Naah was deep in thought.

Chiang Mai was asleep. Only Fisk, still concerned, stared at me.

Abbeus. Jewish sage.

Ascetic.

He hates all these "protectors of the truth."

He knows well that their only goal is to gain more power.

And I don't feel comfortable here.

Too much religion and fighting for me.

I have nothing against Christianity or any other faith.

But the local areas ...

Israel and Palestine.

What is happening here especially during a pandemic ...

This is one of the reasons why I'll never understand.

To that let's add what the Judaism is used to now.

Tool for political use.

Therefore, I am for having faith, but not for religion.

We got there.

Fisk decided to stay

with me at the hotel.

We haven't had time for each other for a long time.

I think he missed me.

Husky, of course, still with Wolf.

The rest took care of Abbeus and his recruitment.

I did not have the strength, my mind was not able to help, I started to worry. Uncertainty. Doubt.

Fisk became more and more concerned. But he knew I would talk about my thoughts when I was ready.

His main concern was closeness.

I didn't want to worry him, but I couldn't pretend.

The longer I thought. The further I got. the darkness grew stronger.

Too early for her and yet.

You are surely surprised.

it's hard for me to talk about it.

If bad thoughts or emotions take over.

if the dark covers the light ...

I do not want this.

It's something I've always hidden. Which I have always defended.

The dark side. Something that is me but is not.

without blockages. without Borders. Without taboos. Unlimited power. Pure evil.

Darkness.

Walking on the abbysall floor .

Knocking on the lonlines door.

Embraincing Emptines in my mind.

Losing any will or drive.

Existence is a pain.

With Empaty we have nothing to Gain.

Darkness is the only way .

Dont move just stop and lay.

No light no hope.

Beliving in the future is a crude joke.

Hes calling my voice.

Do i really have a choice?

Fighting is pointless.

Resisting leaves me less and less.

Why should I Be the hero.

When i can just be another zero.

Embrace him.

Belive him.

Trust him.

BECOME HIM

I fell asleep in Fisk lap ...