When the Magic Stops

Feeling Useless

Draiven POV

I’ve been staying with the Silver Mist coven for about a month now. Nobody even seems to mind my naturally green hair. In fact, someone even said they didn’t understand why I dyed it brown. Everyone seems really nice, except for a woman named Nancy. For whatever reason, she doesn’t like me being here, but she was overruled by Agatha and, more importantly to me, Catrina, my mate.

Gods, she’s beautiful. Inside and out, even if she doesn’t believe it. Sure, she’s got a temper, but she’s so small that when she loses it, it’s almost like watching a kitten throw a temper tantrum. It’s cute, and most of the time, she only loses her temper when it comes to me or someone questioning her dedication to her training. If she’s not asleep or sitting with me for the four hours we’re guaranteed, she’s training. My poor girl is burning herself out, though. I can see it in the dark circles under her eyes. She’s exhausted, and people won’t quit giving her s**t.

I haven’t told her anything about my past. I can’t yet. Once I get over the nightmares, maybe I’ll be able to tell her. I know she’s heard me scream in my sleep. She’s woken me up from my nightmares once or twice a night. She’ll sit with me to calm me down until I fall back asleep, then go back to her room across the hall. I know when she leaves because that’s when the nightmares come roaring back. Some nights it’s so bad that I can feel the burning sensation of molten gold being poured down my spine. I can hear their laughter as I scream in agony. The nightmares seem so real that I find myself wishing for death until she comes and wakes me up. It’s not surprising that the nightmares feel so real though: I really went through it, after all.

I can’t tell Catrina that I’ve never shifted, and that I probably won’t ever be able to. It’s not that I don’t want to tell her, I just don’t know how. She deserves so much better than what I can give her. Gods help me though; I can’t bring myself to leave her. It’s like I need her to breathe properly.

The doctor, Amanda, let me FINALLY get out of bed after the first week I was here, but she said no strenuous activity, so I haven’t been training like I want to be. She says maybe in a few weeks, I’ll be able to start some light training. I feel useless right now. The most I’m allowed to do to build up my strength is WALK AROUND, and Catrina doesn’t want me walking around alone for some reason. The only people she really trusts with me. though, are her brothers, Adrian and Liam. Liam doesn’t really like to be around anyone, but he will still walk around outside with me once in a while. Adrian is usually the one hanging out with me when Catrina’s busy with training.

This morning I was able to convince her to let me sit and watch her train with the coven’s warriors. I have to admit, they’re good, but my focus was entirely on her. I couldn’t help it; she’s even more beautiful when she’s focusing on a task.

She told me my first week here that she doesn’t think she’s beautiful. She sees herself as a “circus freak” and just wants to feel like a normal girl. She doesn’t see herself the way I do, and she doesn’t believe me when I tell her she’s beautiful. Either that, or she just can’t handle compliments. I’m not sure.

I noticed there’s not a lot of children here, but the ones that are here aren’t afraid to ask questions. One of them asked me why I’m so skinny. I told her that it was because I didn’t eat my vegetables when I was her age. The little girl looked terrified and ran to ask her mother for some veggies because she “doesn’t wanna be a toothpick like the green haired boy.” I just shrugged when the girl’s mom looked over at me, but then she mouthed a thank you, and I figured it would be okay.

Catrina POV

Draiven was watching me train with the coven warriors this morning. I don’t think he realizes how distracting it is to have him stare at me for hours on end. Don’t get me wrong, I love every second of it, but he could at least be more discreet about it. Then again, he is my mate. He’s the only person allowed to look at me like he does.

Physically, he’s getting better. He’s still eating like a damn bird, but Amanda says that it’ll take time to build up his appetite, so I’m not going to push it too much. I do try to push him to eat a little bit more every day though. Amanda says that’ll help him in the long run.

He still won’t talk about his past, though. I know it’s still fresh for him. I wake up to him screaming in his sleep multiple times every night. I’m actually half tempted to have him sleep in my room with me just to see if it helps him rest. Gods know he needs it.

We have talked about other things though. Mostly, he asks about me, what it’s like living with my parents being powerful supernatural leaders. I was pretty pissed two weeks ago when Logan tried to tell him that “I’m his” and that Draiven needed to “back the f**k off.” Draiven handled it better than I was about to though. He told Logan, “If Catrina was meant to be with you, she would have claimed you as her mate. She claimed me, and she’s her own person, capable of making her own decisions. I’m not sure how things work for witches, but the females are in charge with dragons. Us men just follow whatever our women decide, so I’ll go along with what she wants. She calls the shots with us, and if I EVER hear you talk about a woman like they’re a piece of property again, there won’t be a body to find; there’ll be barbeque. Now get out of my room before I really lose my temper.”

Logan had left that room in a huff because he didn’t get his way, only to run right smack into me. I’d told him that if I ever caught him bothering Draiven again, he wouldn’t have to worry about being cooked alive by a dragon because I’d deal with him first, PERSONALLY.