Book of songs

songs 21-24

“To mend a broken heart” ~21

To mend a broken heart is to piece together the pieces.

To put a puzzle back together.

To give up on something you know you can’t win.

To let go of something you can’t have.

To stitch together the broken pieces.

Not many know what it means.

Not many know how it feels but I do.

It isn’t a pleasant feeling.

It makes me feel like part of me has died.

Oh people may say they know the feeling but the truth is they don’t know it like me.

I had to mend my heart more than once in this life time but no one knows because I hide it with a smile.

Sometimes it even hurts to smile but I don’t let it show because it only causes problems.

The thing is when I mend my heart.

It’s hard to not look broken, but somehow I manage.

Because I have friends and they help me through it.

They say if I let it all out I’ll feel better,but I’m not sure it’ll work.

When it happened last time I felt dead on the inside for an entire year.

Oh why do I keep letting it happen.

I don’t understand.

I’m never gonna understand why it keeps happening to me.

It hurts so much but it’s worth it.

I have cried a million tears in my entire lifetime.

That’s only because I have lost a lot of people and animals.

I can’t deal with the pain but I manage to do so.

I wish I didn’t have to mend my heart.

I can’t seem to not get hurt whether it’s physically or emotionally.

I’m sewn together but broken on the inside.

I used to not cry but now I can’t stop the tears.

They won’t stop flowing out of my eyes but I try not to cry in front of others.

I wish my heart wouldn’t hurt because it’s hard to smile or look at others without crying my heart out.

My hearts suffering from the pain it’s been through.

I feel like I’ve been through hell.

He broke my heart now I have to mend it with my own two hands.

It’s hard to do when it’s so broken.

I need some help but I’m afraid I can’t ask for help because they all say they’ve been there before and it’ll hurt for awhile but they don’t really understand how I feel.

No one does.

No one ever will.

They think they do but they don’t.

If only they did they would understand me more.

Oh how I wish they did.

I don’t like to feel alone but I know I am the only one to know how I feel and I know now that I’m all alone no matter what I do.

I won’t always be alone but right now I am alone and lonely.

I wish I wasn’t but I am.

“I need to be saved” ~ 22

I have died.

Now I’m searching for someone to save me.

Would you save me?

Will you help me?

Do you still love me?

I don’t think you do.

I wish you the best.

While my soul is dying you’re out there not helping.

Not caring.

Not looking back.

I feel like a fool for being with you.

You never cared about me.

I can’t believe this.

My soul is lost and disappearing.

It’s like I’m invisible.

As if I was never there.

I guess I’ll find someone else.

Someone who will never hurt, betray, lie or bring me down.

I have searched and found no one.

I guess I’ll just disappear like thin air.

I’ll just give up for now and maybe someday someone will help me out.

One can only hope.

I just wish I knew how to do this on my own but I can’t.

I need the help.

I need to be saved.

I have had a lot of thoughts lately.

So many where I’m lost and confused.

I need it badly.

I’m afraid I’ll never understand.

I’m afraid to fall for another person.

I don’t want to get hurt again.

My life is falling apart.

I wish I could unsee what I saw.

I need a quiet place.

Somewhere nice and quiet.

A place I can call a safe haven of my own.

No one knows how to save me.

No one tries to understand.

They look at me and laugh.

Well I don’t find it funny not one bit.

I need to be saved.

What part of that does no one understand.

I will give up on a life I never had.

I will give up on the need to be saved.

I will give up on the joyous moments in life.

My mom may be disappointed but I’m proud.

I just wish I could’ve been saved before it’s too late.

As I said before no one cares.

No one will be there.

No one wants to help.

They will sit back and laugh as I fall.

Everyone is against me.

I’m an outcast and proud to be.

I shall make a promise to myself to never fall in love.

Never need to be saved.

Never lie to myself and I’ll be ok.

I bought that I needed to be saved but I guess I’ll let that go.

The pain is only just a heartache wanting to be loved.

I need to be saved.

“I’m the angel warrior” ~23

I fell from heaven.

I am armed with weapons.

I am ready to defend.

I may have black wings but my soul is pure.

This warrior may not be human but I am a fighter.

I may have wings of an angel but I fight like a demon.

I am an angel warrior ready to fight.

I am a guardian ready to protect.

I defend the weak, and help those in need.

I put myself last and others before me.

I am an angel warrior ready to draw my sword.

I have yet to shed blood.

While my kinfolk fall to their end.

I am ready to fight.

I may look evil but I am broken.

I may have black wings but I am kind.

I may be tough yet I am gentle.

I may be broken but I still need love and kindness.

I may be a warrior but this is a fallen warrior.

I may be ready for this battle but I am not sure about the war to come.

I have fallen from heaven trained to fight.

I have my weapons ready to defend.

My family is waiting on me.

My kin has fallen, the only one left is you my love.

You’re slowly fading, as your last words are I love you.

I cry and hold you in my arms.

I may have lost all of my people, but I am not alone.

I may be armed with weapons but I have been caught.

My love for you has awakened you.

I may have been caught but my captor is you.

I may be ready to fight and defend but I am not ready for love and affection.

You may be my captor but you only caught my heart.

I am an angel warrior.

You are a demon.

My love for you binds me to you.

I have drawn my sword and let it fall to the ground.

You have been restrained.

I set you free.

You demon so tall and slender.

You demon so rough yet gentle.

This angel warrior has fallen.

Your arms around me tight are full of warmth.

This angel is no longer an angel warrior.

My wings fade from black to white.

Your eyes change to their original color.

Our love has made this place warm and full of color.

We release our embrace, smiles on our faces.

This angel warrior has dropped all her walls.

I am ready to fight this war.

My people have rose again.

Together we, together we stand.

This angel warrior has you on her side.

The words I utter are “I love you too.”

“Free me from these chains” ~24