THE LOST SHE

BREAKING DOWN

"One of the most courageous decisions you ever make is to finally let go of what is hurting your heart and soul."~Brigittie Nicole

One lesson that life has taught me is that being strong is the only way out. You have to walk on paths alone, where the only person you can depend on is YOU. Life throws challenges at you to break you enough to fight it and come out stronger than ever.

I'm pulled out of thoughts with the constant buzzing of my phone. I pick up my phone and hit the snooze button. My condition is worse than yesterday. I  just want to stay here and with zero human interaction.

One thing you never want in life is to hurt the one closest to you but it seems I have been hurting people my whole life even when I don't want to. Its been hard for dad since mom's death, he has become a workaholic. Mom's death shattered him, they were school sweethearts. She was the only girl he ever loved, I wish that fatal night would've never happened. Nate, Cam, and Eth aren't same anymore, they have grown more protective about me. Every time I used to wake up screaming and crying it used to break them, you could see it in their eyes. I wanted my own room so that they don't have to see me like this anymore.

Since mom's death, Eth and I stayed with Aunt Mary, my mom's sister. Nate and Cam both were off to college, and dad was hardly home. Nathan was her only child, he is three years older than us. We stayed with him for two years and then last year he left to serve his country in the army and got posted in Afghanistan. He used to not only train me but also help me with my nightmares and always motivated me to become a strong person. I cried so much the day he informed me he was joining the army, even the day he left I wanted to stay strong in front of him but I couldn't. It was like a piece of my heart was moving away from me, we had grown really close, he was like a sibling to me. I hate him for leaving me here and went to the war zone. I miss him so much and pray for his safety always and I can't lose him. A lone tear left my eyes, and suddenly it gets really hard to breathe.I'm getting breathe in shorts pant, I can't breathe properly, it's getting really hard to calm myself, my thoughts were just making me more anxious. It feels like my whole world is collapsing in front of my eyes. I just want to escape this pain, this feeling of unknown. Tears kept coming out, I tried focusing on my breath but all in vain.

"Ams wake up. Its time for school"Cameron came in knocking my door. He looks at me and in a second he is next to me.

"Shhh, Ams.its fine, focus on your breathing. Inhale, Exhale."Cam picks me up and takes me in a side hug.

"Shhhh, I'm here with you. We all are here with you. Just focus on breathing " while rubbing my back softly. I started to calm down and after a minute or two I relaxed in his arms, but tears kept coming out.

"Ams, what happened? I thought you were getting fine" he sighs looking down at me, I just snuggle more in the warmth of his body.

"I'm calling Nate and informing you aren't going to school. You should just stay home" removing his phone to call him.

"NO" leaving his side hug and wiping my tears.

"I'm fine," I say trying to calm my self down completely.

"Ams, look at you. Do you think you can attend school in this condition? If it weren't for me, you would have fainted or worse".he says with a sad face. He is right, it's not the first time it has happened. Last time I had fainted in school because I wasn't able to calm myself and no one was around me.

"I'm fine bro.I'm strong and if I stay home, it's going to haunt more that's why school is my best option and also I'm lacking a lot in school already, "I say trying to convince him.

"Are you sure? Look I don't care about school or anything else, You are what matters."

"I'm sure bro. Don't worry." Giving him high and puppy eyes.

"Fine, go get ready. I'll wait for you here and then we go down together" he says giving me a sharp look. Pecking his cheek, I go to the washroom to get ready. I quickly got into the shower. My clothes were still in Eths room, I didn't get a chance to get them back. Luckily Nate had filled my closet clothes. As soon as I opened my closet, I'm filled with awe. There's everything a girl would ever need in this room. One side there are all dresses, then formals followed with causal. On the other side, there is a shoe closet, followed with bags, accessories, and a giant mirror in the middle, and in the middle, there's a small sofa and makeup mirror. Nate really did put in a lot of effort. I wanted something to cover me up, I remove a full sleeves blue shirt and black pants. I get ready and go out. I see Cameron still waiting for me. He looks up to me and smiles.

"When did Nate get my closet filled?" I question him

"He got your closet done way before, and then I and he went shopping to get all the clothing and accessories for it. It wasn't that hard because we already know your taste in clothes ."I was taken in awe by with the efforts my brothers put in.

"You just saw your closet"he says looking at me.

"Yeah, didn't really get a chance to explore, "I say giving him a big smile. Well, its a walk-in closet, and I thought it must be empty so I didn't really open only used the washroom. There's a wooden door separating both sides.

"He wanted to surprise you and show you around."

"I was actually waiting for him to show me around, therefore didn't really open anything" I wanted Nate to show me everything. He has put in a lot of efforts, you can easily see it with the color shades and the furniture.

"Let's go down, everyone's waiting down. Oh btw, Dad's home"Cam informs me while ascending the stairs. We reached the kitchen to see Nate flipping pancakes, dad sitting there with his newspaper in his one hand and coffee in other and Eth stuffing his face pancakes, his face looked so funny. I go and directly hug my dad from behind.

"I missed you dad so much"hugging him tightly.

"Missed you to princess" he says kissing my hands

"Ams, have your breakfast quick otherwise you are going to be late"Nate hands me a plate of pancakes. I didn't feel like eating.

"I'm just gonna have a Granola bar" handed my plate to Cam and took a bar from the closet.

"Ams, what's wrong ? You never skip your breakfast, "Nate asks, his voice laced with worry.

"Nothing bro. I just want something light. Let's go Eth we are going to be late" Before anyone can say anything I drag Eth out saying our byes.

"Am, it takes 10 mins to reach"Eth says 

"I want to be early today that's it"I continue walking towards the garage.

Eth quietly followed me.

'I won't tell anyone this time but you better start talking.'

'Have your lunch properly' my phone beeped with two messages from Cam. I was really grateful for it. I look out from the window to see we are almost school.

I simply sigh, preparing myself for my second day.

We reached school, I directly went to my locker while Eth stops to greet his friends. I'm not at all in the mood to meet anyone. I unlock my locker and put my books in. Suddenly my locker is slammed shut

"You are back?" I turn back to face one of the most gorgeous boys. Although he seems a little familiar,

"Gosh you are finally back, where have you been for the past 7 years?"He pins me next to the lockers, you could see his eyes filled with happiness and love.

Confusion struck me, I can't understand what he was saying."Do I know you?" I reply back staring in his gorgeous baby blue eyes. In a second, all the warmth and softness replaces with a stoic scrowl. He pushes me hard "You better stay away from me " and walks away.

I'm left in confusion what he means by that, I hardly know a thing about this person.

"Amelia are you okay ?"Another voice breaks my thoughts and I see Noah standing there with worry on his face.

"Aaron is just in a bad mood. He is not a bad person" he says taking my hand to see for any damage. I swiftly pull my hand back to myself.

"Doesn't seem so, I didn't know you greet people by pushing them in lockers" I reply sarcastically and he simply chuckles. That infuriates me even more.

"What the hell is everyone's problem, I'm minding my business. Why can't you guys just leave me alone"I literally shout there and creating a scene.

I didn't realize Charolette standing there as looking at me with worry on her face. I slam my locker shut and walk away in the direction of the football field.

I can hear Char and Noah shouting my name, I just simply avoid them. There are so many thoughts going on in my mind. I feel Cam was right, resting home was the best.

I reach the ground in no time, I simply go near the bleachers and sit there observing the field and the view in front of me. Why does everyone keeps saying,'you're back'.Noah yesterday and that guy today and even the look Char shared with everyone was different. I really can't put my thoughts to rest.

"If you keep stressing about things, they are just going to get worse" comes a voice from next to me. He was wearing a formal suit, grey hair.

"What are you doing here ?"Giving him a puzzled expression.

"Visting my dearest angel," he says with a smile and engulfing me in a warm hug.

"You could have visited me at home, why in school.?"

"I'm so sorry. I wasn't there to welcome you and Eth back. And dear missy did you forget I'm the principal of this school" he says chuckling.

"Ohh" now it makes sense, how we got admission in mid-year. I always knew Uncle Jack was principal but didn't know it was my school.

"Already bunking classes? You know its not good for you, " He says in a stern voice. He looked so cute being angry. He is my uncle from Dad's side, he often visited us there. He always calls me his angel.

"I'm not bunking, it's just too much on my mind" I look down at my shoes, didn't want to disappoint him.

"I know baby girl. Cam called me, he told me to keep an eye on you. I saw you walking out so I followed you out" he says with a small smile.

"I have a meeting to attend, you better don't cut next class."He says trying to be stern, gives me a hug, and leaves.

Sighing, I just sit there for a while. Looking at the time, its time for my next class. I get up and start walking in the direction of my class. I keep my head down trying not to have any eye contact with anyone. I looked up at my schedule to find it was AP calculus, meaning Eth won't be with me.

I walk into the class to see, Mr.Smith already present there.

"Amelia, Principal sir informed me that you are going to be late, take the empty seat "he turned around and started writing something on the board

I look up to find the empty seat to realize there's only one empty seat next to that Jerk. My face dropped, it was already getting hard with all the scenes before, and now I need to face him for the whole 1 hour. I walked to the seat to see his bag kept there.

"Can you remove the bag, please. I need to use the seat" I say almost in the whisper. He doesn't reply just simply removes his bag and keeps on the other side. I quickly sit down and open my books.

"psst...psst.Em" someone pokes me from behind, I turn to look to find Mason and Noah sitting behind us. I had no idea these guys were in the same class.

"Are you okay? Why did you run off like that?"Mason asks looking worried.

From the corner of the eye, you could see Aarons face twitch, and harden once again.

"OK students, we are going to do today's classwork in pairs"Mr . Smith saves me from answering that question.

"Make a group of 4 and solve the questions written on board, "he says keeping the marker down and opening his laptop.

"Let's do it together Ams," Noah says from behind, almost in the tone of leaving no choice. There's nothing wrong with doing assignments together right? What could possibly go wrong and plus Eth hangs out with them there must be a reason. My brain was in chaos, there's no harm In it.

"Earth to Amelia" Mason calls out my name, putting a stop to my thoughts.

"Yeah, sorry. Can you repeat it ?"I reply to him giving a guilty smile.

"I said, do you want to do the assignment together?" he says shaking his head.

"Yeah, sure why not, "I say nonchalantly 

"Perfect. You, me, Noah, and Aaron are a group now" his tone is filled with excitement.

I can't believe this guy is excited about doing an assignment together.

We all divide our questions and started working on them.

Poke'Psst' poke 'psst' poke, poke "What now"I almost shouted, it's so irritating when someones keep poking you. Luckily Mr.Smith was too engrossed in his work to notice it.

"What do you want Mason, "I ask him getting more and more irritated by the day events.

"Nothing just wanted to check if you are coming for the Fridays party or not," he says giving me a sweet smile.

"Which party? I don't know about it and I'll not be able to come ,I've plans"I smoothly lie. Parties and I don't go well. Last time when I went, the guy who hosted it had two broken bones and well one missing teeth. Well, that's a story for another time.

"Ethan is going to be there. It's at Noah's house on Friday evening 7 pm. We are throwing a party to welcome you guys" his faces literally lits up like a small kids does when he gets the candy.

"I had no idea for Eth will be there, anyways I won't be able to come"I decline the invitation politely.

"Come on Ams, don't be a spoilsport. It's just a welcome party" Noah says trying to convince me.

"Why do you want to force her, if she doesn't want to come."Aaron says with an emotionless face.

"What's your problem , they weren't talking to you "I was seething with anger. I have literally done nothing and he is being a d**k. He just ignores me completely.

"Come on amelia. You have to come , otherwise, I won't stop bugging you"Mason says while poking me 

"I'll think about it and now stop poking me you pig" Rubbing my arm , where he has been poking me since then. I looked up to see them laughing and smiling. I realized later that I called him a pig.

I couldn't control myself as well and started fooling around with them.

They seem nice, maybe I need to let down my wall and let people come. With that, the bell rings for the lunch break...

Sorry for not posting it out any sooner. Will keep updating as earliest as possible.