Bound To You

17 | Confessions and Deception

A L Y S S A

3 months later

'VD to everyone -

Although Thanksgiving was a bore, you elite lot still gave me some gossip to sink my veneers into.

Nick and Amanda, baby drama? I think not, she had a sad miscarriage while away at Nick's parents house. Sorry or not sorry for your loss, losers.

Alyssa and Trey still a thing? You could say that, but without the designer label, who actually knows?

Nadine and Josh? Well wouldn't you like to know. Word about is that they flew to Dubai for a little get away with one another and things were hawt and heavy. Hopefully this will help Nadine beat out her sister in marrying into the wealthiest family, is that your game plan, Nad? -wink emoji-

Then there's old news Jen who hasn't been seen or heard from, she hasn't even come back to school? I'm calling out another Lohan relapse. Come out, come out, where ever you are.'

With 3 weeks until winter break, we were all cramming for our upcoming practical tests, they weren't like high school exams, they were worse if we wanted to go for a degree or a masters. I was studying none stop, even over thanksgiving break, with Trey tutoring me in different aspects of our combinery. He was a handsome, egotistical asshole sometimes, but he knew his business and he knew how to teach me in a way I understood, with a little game of strip trivia. He'd ask me questions, if I got them wrong, I stripped, if I got them right, he'd strip. It was quite the motivator.

We had actually been spending a lot of time together, we we're becoming inseparable and I was getting used to having him around. Especially the few days he went home to be with his parents over thanksgiving. I hate to admit it, and I never would to him but I missed him, I missed him being close to me, holding me, kissing me, making me laugh with his either dirty, or stupid remarks.

Sitting in the library with my head stuck in a book and my hand going 100 mph jotting notes down, I was so lost in my work that I didn't even realise Trey was sitting across from me until he cleared his throat to catch my attention.

"I thought you actually forgot I exist." He smirked.

"I'm not that lucky."

"Ouch, right to the soul."

"Considering you actually have one."

"Ooo and she scored again, right to the heart this time."

"Isn't that like, stone? It should of bounced right off."

"You, my girl, are on fire today. Looks like I'm rubbing off on your more than we first thought."

"Or maybe your presence is that annoying it brings the b***h out in me."

"Maybe. I prefer my reason."

"Of course you do."

"So, how long you locked yourself in here for?"

"I'm about done." I sighed.

"You are? Brilliant, so you're free afterwards?"

"I am, what did you have in mind?"

"I was thinking, me, you, hot chocolate? A date?"

"A date?" I c****d my eye brow up.

"Yeah. I mean c'mon, we're practically dating anyway."

"We, are not dating." I scoffed.

"Admit it, you'd go crazy without me."

"I'm crazy with you so what's the difference."

"Now you're flirting with the line, Parkes."

"Oh, I'm so scared."

"You should be."

He got up from his seat and started packing all my things away before throwing my bag over his shoulder and grabbing my hand and leading me out the library.

"What the hell, Lake?!"

"You should know by now that your insults cut me to the core, so I dominate in retaliation."

"Yeah, one of your many, many irritating flaws."

"Just do me a solid and shut up?"

"Or you do me a solid and let me go?"

"Nope."

"Where are we even going?"

"I told you, for hot chocolate."

"Right, but where?"

"Somewhere, why do you have to be so nosy?"

"Because the college playboy is kidnapping me, once again."

He let out a gruff, annoyed sigh before stopping his tracks leaving us standing in the middle of the campus quad.

"Alyssa. You can't keep throwing that in my face."

"I'm sorry what's happening right now?" I held my hands up.

I was stunned, firstly, he never calls me Alyssa, literally never, it's always my last name or some stupid nickname he's come up with and secondly, I mean, c'mon, I was joking like I always do and he's never reacted like this before. I could see he was annoyed, if his tone hadn't already given it away, but the reason I was still clueless about. I had no idea what was about to happen until it did, and when it did was left with two choices.

"Alyssa, we can't continue playing this game. It's becoming too much for me. It's becoming the best and worst part of my life, it's like I'm dead but living in limbo."

"What are you talking about?"

"You know what I'm talking about, Alyssa. You know all too well what I'm talking about. That night, at the bonfire?"

"Yeah what about it?"

He scoffed like I'd just killed his dog and denied it too him. "You're really gonna act dumb right now? In the car, when I told you I could see myself falling for you? You don't remember that, no?"

"I do, I mean, I thought you were just drunk and talking s**t, how was I supposed to know you meant it?"

"Because, Alyssa! You just should! Why else would I always want to be around you, study with you, tutor you, kiss you, make time for you, spend all my spare time thinking about you, staying away from other women because of you!

I've done all I can to try prove to you that I'm not the guy everyone makes me out to be. I love you, I'm so madly in love with you and I know you have something towards me too, I know you do."

"Trey, you don't love me, you love the thought of me, the thought of getting the girl that turned you down and challenges you on your bullshit, on your bad habits and flaws. That's not love, that's lust."

"No, you don't know how wrong you are. If I didn't love you how would I notice all the stupid things that no one else does, like how you mouth the words to a song when you're walking through the campus with your earphones in that makes you look like you're talking to yourself, or the crinkle you get on your nose when you're writing impossibly fast, or how you can't sleep with your hair down, it's got to be tied back, or that when you lie your top lip twitches, and when you're happy you listen to sad songs, and when your sad you listen to happy songs. You won't eat chocolate unless it's Cadbury's, you can't stand the smell of coffee but you love to drink it or you can't function, or how about the fact that you refuse to wear the colour purple because you say it washes you out and makes you look plump, the fact you have to scrunch your nose up to lift your glasses up. And regardless of how many times I tell you, your confidence is the sexiest feature you have. How would I know all this if I didn't love you, if I didn't want you?"

He left me speechless, he left me unable to form a sentence. I wanted to tell him I felt the same way, I wanted to jump for joy in his arms that he finally came out and said the words I wanted to hear. I did. But I couldn't. I couldn't bring my brain to make my mouth function.

"I guess I was the only one." He said before turning away from me.

"Trey!" I called after him.

I walked into his arms and he gently wrapped them round me like he's done plenty of times before. After a few seconds I pulled away and looked at him, he looked like he was in pain, he looked like he wanted to scream and shout at me until I told him all the words he wanted to hear.

"What if we don't work out? What if you feed into temptation and hurt me? What if I fall so madly in love with you and you loose your feelings for me a year down the line? There's so many what if's that could go wrong with us. We fight like brother and sister but yet I love you like a wife would her husband. I don't know if I can risk loosing that with you." I explained as I rambled on without taking a breath.

"Then it looks like you've got some thinking to do, I can't do it for you."

He walked off leaving me in the middle of the quad alone and confused. I think I just lost a best friend.

"He what?!" Josh exclaimed clapping his hands together with a cheesy grin plastered across his face.

"I just rambled on about all the things that could go wrong instead of just admitting I wanted him too, I'm such an idiot." I groaned dropping my head onto the table.

Josh stoked my hair and laughed at the same time, I sometimes worry about me being best friends with him.

"He'll come round, don't stress, he's crazy about you."

"I don't think he will this time, he put his heart on the line and I didn't exactly accept it."

"And I get that, he's got every right, I mean, come on, everyone knew he was falling in love with you, everyone except you." He laughed. "You really are an idiot." He continued to laugh.

"Thanks." I rolled my eyes at him.

"All you gotta do is admit your feelings for him then all is forgiven."

"But what if things do go wrong between us? What if I loose him as a friend forever?"

"But what if you don't, Lyss. You're never gonna know if you don't try but I'll tell you one thing. All the years I've known Trey, he has had a reputation with the ladies, but I saw all that go out the window when he met you. That's the truth and nothing but the truth."

"Okay, Josh, you're not on trial here."

"Just go get your man, Shorty."

"Yeah, I will. Thanks, Joshua."

"It's Josh, you dumb hoe!" He called after me as I ran out the campus café.

I ran and ran until I was left breathless at Trey's dorm room door. I knocked on but before the door got answered I heard moaning, groaning, a bed rocking and a girl talking. That's all I needed to make myself leave.

Tears began to fill my eyes, and slowly drop down my cheek as I walked down the hallway. I knew it was my fault, I should of just answered him there, in that minute, then none of this would be happening. I guess that's my lesson learnt.