LUCAS

chapter eight:you look like s**t too oky

The week flew by really fast between one or two shifts everyday at the diner and writing finals I hardly had time for sleep, I swear by the end of the week my blood was 40 percent stress 60percent caffeine.

since Lucas left last week my nightmares returned, some nights I would scream myself awake other nights I’ll wake up my body covered in sweat with tear stained eyes looks like I’m back to my old routine. luckily with finals this past week studying kept me awake my body is functioning on four solid hours of sleep for this whole week but Lucas’s cute texts keep me sane

the bell rings signalling its the end of the day and that we can all go home for the weekend, I close my locker slowly walking to the woods, I was dizzy, unstable and super tired I’ve only been able to have one apple a day and nothing more since I didn’t have the time for anything else. so I’m pretty sure my body is shutting down but its weekend so I have all the time I need to eat anything and everything I can to get back to my normal weight.

I made it to the treehouse, a little out of breath and breathing heavily I start the slow journey up the steps I finally reach the top and went inside throwing my book bag on the floor kicking my hoes off and walking to the mirror . holy s**t I look like crap I tilt my head to the side taking a good hard look at the ghost staring back at me with fifty shades of dark circles under my eyes I lost so much weight I look like a skeleton swimming in my shirt. I sigh running my hands over my face "Olivia?, what the f**k happened?" a familiar voice said. I quickly turn around Lucas drops his bag on the floor rushing over to me "Lucas" I smile hugging him, burying my face in his neck, I missed him "what happened?" concern laced in his voice he pulls me even closer "nothing happened, why?" I ask confused "l leave you alone for a week and when I come back I find you looking like your about to drop dead, what happened?" he loosens his grip on me cupping my face in his hands searching my eyes for answers "thanks but you look like s**t too okay, I’m just a bit sleepy, between work, school, studying for finals and rushing to school to write my finals I didn’t have much time to sleep or do anything else" I answer truthfully, Lucas nods in understanding and disappears to the kitchen I grab his bag and put it in the bedroom before walking over to the closet pulling on a sweatshirt and comfortable shorts, closing the black curtains and jumped into bed blacking out.

I wake up feeling full of energy and extremely hungry the room was dark, an arm was wrapped around my waist. I turn around and face a sleeping Lucas, his long black bed hair covering his face almost reaching his jawline I can’t resist the temptation of tracing his features. My fingers trace over his jawline slowly moving to his plump lips running my thumb over his bottom lip he jerks, pulling me closer burying his face in the crook of my neck "moring" he whispers soft enough for me to hear his deep sexy morning voice "good Moring" I place a kiss on his bare shoulder "what’s the time?" he asks freeing me from his grip and lays on his back. Little calendar in the corner of the clock's display informed me that “it’s Sunday?"

"yeah after I took a shower Friday I crawled in next to you then Saturday I woke up to you screaming in your sleep I calmed you down and went back to sleep, so what’s the time?" he took my phone on my nightstand checking the time, so I’ve been asleep for almost two days!

“12 am its still nice and early want to stay in bed for a little longer?" he says wrapping his arms around me snuggling into me, he’s so cute how can I even say no. guild starts to eat away at me "I’m sorry I keep waking you up at night" I feel really bad about waking him up all the time just because my past hunts me in my dreams doesn’t mean he has to deal with them "its okay Live I just wish I knew the cause, I’m not going anywhere Liv just trust me I just want to understand you a little better" he begs me "I’ll tell you but can’t do it sober" I say standing up going to the kitchen I get the tequila in the cabinet questioning my choice to tell him, am I really going to tell him? what if he leaves? What if he goes to the police? nope I’m covered with the police and I’m pretty sure my parents are dead so what’s the worse that could happen...

I sit on the bed taking a mouthful of tequila swallowing it, the burning in my throat from the alcohol felt somewhat comforting "where should I start?" I ask handing him the bottle "the source of your nightmares" he says holding the bottle. I’m going to f*****g lose him after this and with a sigh I start.

"my coming into the world wasn’t as it should have been. I was born in a w***e house the same one my mom worked at, my dad picked my mom up one night and forgot to use protection so obviously she got pregnant, with me and she never told my father but I know she had fallen in love with him at some point. Once I was born my mother left me alone each night with one of the other women that worked with her and when I reached the age of seven my mom's pimp started to take interest in me in a sick kind of way, my mom would always be just in time to save me from him but then he always took her away for a few hours and when she came back she would be high on drugs, beaten and bruised, that kept on until I was ten years old.

a week after I turned ten my mom introduced me to this big scary man that turned out to be my father and then we moved out of the w***e house and into his mansion, I thought everything would change and I would have a normal life I couldn’t have been more wrong. My parents became alcoholics and blamed me for all their problems they began to lash out beating me to the point that my bones would break, locking me in my room with no food, kicking and screaming taking their anger out on me " my voice came out a croaky whisper I could hear my voice cracking. Lucas’s jaw was clenched his eyes flicked with anger my mouth felt dry "go on" he mentions to me I swallow the lump in my throat.

" when I was twelve years old my teachers began too notice my bruises and the marks on my back so they called child services and I was sent to this old sketchy orphanage where they basically treated me the same way my parents did its there that I met Alice but Alice died when I was sixteen so a week after he death I ran away from the orphanage. My nightmares are the aftermath of all the abuse, and each night I relive a moment when he would beat, burn or cut me. Some nights its him other nights its a memory from the orphanage when they would beat you with something that left lashes" I say wiping away the tears, "show me the marks" he ordered anger evident on his face he looked like he could kill someone with his bare hands. Why is he so angry?

"Lucas no, you look like your going to kill someone" I say not meeting his gaze he hands me the bottle and I gulp down a few swigs feeling the alcohol taking effect "please" he pleas', taking one more swig of the bottle I turn my back to him pulling my shirt off tying my hair in a messy bun. I feel his fingers tracing my marks I flinch each time he traces one reminding me of how I got them "are all these from your father?" he asks "no but most of them are, the long straight ones are from the orphanage the others like the round ones are from my father" I answer my face falls in my hands tears escape me as he traces my scars I quickly wipe away my tears. Your stronger than this Olivia I try pep talking myself.

"okay that’s enough show and tell for today" I say turning around facing Lucas who immediately pulls me into a hug "I’m sorry Liv, I promise no one will ever hurt you again" he whispers, his words leave a small smile on my lips, how can he be so sure about something like that?. Even if he can’t I wouldn’t hold it against him, I can take care of myself. “ so mister Black how many have you been with" I ask trying to brush off our earlier conversation, he blushes the tips of his ears redden " girls?, one, she was my first girlfriend and when we broke up I never dated again, it ended two years ago" he answers he’s so cute when he’s blushing "how about you?" his curiosity makes me grin even more " no one, I’m still a virgin, I’ve never had a boyfriend and its not from the lack of not trying but I realized nobody wants damaged goods and the scars on my body makes me self- conscious its not exactly nice to look at" I say fiddling with my fingers "Liv your beautiful how couldn’t anyone see that, you don’t have scars you have stories, each mark tells a story of how you went through hell but was brave enough to escape and became better person. You are strong Olivia and when it comes to your body trust me there’s nothing to be shy about, your perfect in every way. I wouldn’t change anything about you" his confession made my heart flutter and a swarm of butterflies erupted inside me. I pulled him to me kissing him passionately before pulling away "I’m sorry that was uncalled for" I say moving away "never apologize for kissing me Olivia, now would you get your cute butt over here and kiss me" he didn’t have to ask me twice with a grin I jump on him my lips on his.

We pulled away panting trying to catch our breath "hey do you want to go watch a movie? he asks running circles on my lower back with his thumb while I’m still straddling him “I have a ton of movies what do you wan t to watch?" he chuckles his chest vibrating against mine" I meant going to the movies Liv"" I nod "sure why not let me just get dressed if you haven’t noticed I’m not wearing a shirt" I say running my fingers through his hair "why yes I have noticed I’m just enjoying the view but before we go lets take a shower first" he wraps my legs around his waist picking me up and walks to the bathroom "Lucas what are you doing?" I question when he places me on the bathroom counter top "taking a shower" he answers in a duhh tone "together?" I ask my , my cheeks turning a shade of scarlet red "yeah why not, that is if your not scared" he teases.

I scoff "no" pulling my shorts off standing in front of him in my lingerie his eyes rake over my body. I unclip mu bra letting it fall to the floor noticing his growing buldge in his pants I slowly pull my lingerie down my legs letting it fall to the floor, without looking at him I step into the shower turning the water on..

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