LUCAS

chapter one:the awkward beginning

The feeling of all the pain and memories slipping away. Those voices in your head falling silent, the sweet bliss of being numb for a little while but everything comes with a price and if this blade can make the pain stop then the price isn't that much.

The razor blade falls from my grip the voices finally silent, at least for now. The cold water running over my cuts burn but that's okay I turn off the tap and dry my wrists then gently wrap them up with bandages. I throw on a baggy shirt and tied my coffee brown hair in a messy bun. I fall down on my comfy bed letting the numbness drift me into a restless sleep.

The sun makes its unwelcomed presence pouring in through my bedroom window. Why didn't I close the damn curtains, groaning I get up dragging my feet to my bathroom relieving my bladder and took a warm refreshing shower relaxing under the warmth. I catch my reflection in the bathroom mirror I look like Frankenstein's monster and that just won't do.

I take my time straightening my hair and doing my makeup and slip on some lacy underwear before rummaging through my dresser for my black skinny jeans paired with navy blue converse and a black hoody to cover my bandages. I noticed the time on my alarm clock.

shit I'm going to be late.

I rush out the door grabbing my book bag with my phone in it and a granola bar eating it on my walk to school.

At school I'm just your typical boring student the one that sits at the back near the window that gets average grades you've probably even borrowed a pen from me without even knowing my name and that's the way I like it.

At school I have my secret hide outs for when the teachers become to much of a pain in the ass which would be the library, music room, the tree on the far end of school and lastly the west wing of school which is abandoned but the dance studio is still in decent condition. No one uses it because why use the old dance studio when the rich folks of our town donated enough money for our school to build a fancy dance studio in the new east wing of our school. To me the old dance studio is a diamond in the rough it has character but right now I'm on my way to the music room.

The hallways are packed with people chatting, the red lockers lined up against the dark blue walls with odd windows here and there the walls painted either navy blue or grey the doors all painted red. Nearing the music room I hear someone playing guitar singing a song that sounds so familiar I listen carefully.

"So kiss me with your m*******a breath I can be your cure for loneliness..."

I step inside the music room and finally find out who the helsome voice belongs to. Non other than Lucas Black the hottest guy in school.

Sureee why not, he already has the body that was sculpted by gods and he has the whole bad boy vibe why wouldn't he be a musician too. Uggg. I couldn't help but roll my eyes I should have know it was him he's the only guy in school with a British accent.

I stood there until he strung the last note on his guitar "well time to get back to work" he mutters to himself still not aware of my presence behind some music instruments. Deciding that I kind of looked like a creep just standing here in the corner watching him, feeling like I was invading his privacy I try and sneak out but failed miserably when I tripped over a drum and went tumbling down, I close my eyes readying myself for the moment I hit the floor but, nothing happens instead I'm wrapped in warmth.

Wait did I fall and hit my head on something and now I'm hallucinating being covered in warmth?

My eyes flutter open staring into beautiful grey eyes "I..I'm sorry I didn't mean to intrude” I stutter

Wait when did I start stuttering?

"No it's okay don't worry about it love, its nice of you to fall in" I smile at the little joke as he helps me up back on my feet. His raw British accent making me a little weak in the knees. He reaches out his hand for me to shake "I'm Lucas" I take his hand in mine feeling heat radiating off of him "I..I..I know who you are you enrolled here a little while after I ran- a little while after me" I quickly say covering up what I almost let slip out.

Stupid, stupid, stupid I mentally face palm myself. He smirked and shook my hand "How do you know me other than the obvious that we are in the same school?” he questions, uhm how do I put it lightly.

People around here either call him hunky Lucas, fuckable Lucas or the one most popular around the girls -f**k me Lucas. All the gay guys want him and I'm pretty sure some of the straight ones too yeah there's no way on earth I'm telling him about the drool fest he started ever since he got here.

"People talk, Olivia" he gave me a look of confusion "my name is Olivia Green" he smirks almost as if he didn't believe me he picks up his guitar and black leather jacket on his way out "Goodbye Olivia" I smile and sit down at the piano feeling the keys smooth under my touch.

I sing along to the lyrics of La Vie Long Rose as my fingers swiftly moved over the piano keys. Someone clearing their throat makes me stop half way through the song "Miss Green you've missed homeroom and three other classes" Mister Andrews a.k.a the music teacher says from behind me.

oh s**t my teachers are going to butcher me.

I slowly turn around to face him and give him an innocent smile "as much as I love hearing you play piano I do have a class to teach Miss Green" I nod and gather up my stuff ready to leave when he one again clears his throat stopping me "Olivia you have such a talent why don't you take music we could really use talent like yours for our choir or school musical or you can become a solo artist making music and make a big name for yourself but either way if you want that you can start with taking music as a subject or trying out for the musical. I'm not saying you have to I'm asking that you think about it" he hands me a sign up sheet for both his class and the school musical before returning to his seat at his desk.

As soon as I step out of his classroom I throw the sign up sheets away, sorry mister Andrews it's hard keeping a low profile if your putting the spot light on me. Sneaking past all my teachers to the west wing's dance studio I made it safely without any teacher busting my chops for not showing up for class, the long dimly lit hallway is silent the lockers against the wall broken and their paint chilling off. People rarely come to the west wing I swear the only people that come here is the janitors and those who come into the empty classrooms to have s*x.

Stepping inside the music room I switch on the lights those that actually work which isn't much and turn on the sound system turning the volume up as high as it would let me. I listen to the music letting go of everything as I moved with the rhythm of the music feeling every beat taking over my body guiding my movements just like I was taught, I danced until I was numb.

When the third song ended my body gave in and I fell onto the wooden floor breathing heavily letting my body relax. Out of nowhere clapping echoed through the studio startling me "wow bella (beautiful) that was amazing I never knew you could move like that. Oh and did you know there are two people f*****g outside your door in the hallway?" He yells over the music strolling over towards me as I awkwardly stood up and turn down the music “Hi Lucas sorry I didn't hear you come in"

"Yeah I'm not surprised the music is louder than the two f*****g outside” he laughs and holy s**t his smile is sexy.

Checking the time on my phone I panic "I'm sorry Lucas but I have to go" I grab my things and walk out into the hallway and just like he said there are two people having at it like rabbits I just roll my eyes and continue on my way, I turn the corner but someone yelling stops me in my tracks "Hey! Olivia wait up! I’ll walk you home” why would he want to walk me home I've been here just as long as he has and he never offered to walk me home he never even acknowledged my existence so why now? "I really have to be somewhere" I say walking away "okay then I'll just go with you" he really doesn't take no for an answer "fine on two conditions"

"And what would that be" he eyes me suspiciously "one, you have to go into the girls bathroom with me and two, you have to zip me up"

"I'm all for humping like bunnies in a bathroom love but I was thinking dinner first, a couple of dates and a few movies and then the humping thing...or wait I'm all for the humping like bunnies thing right now" he says wiggling his eyebrows with a sly smirk.

"No you dog we are not and I repeat we are NOT going to f**k. I just need you to zip up my dress" I say leading the way inside the empty bathroom luckily it's late and everyone has gone home except the janitors and me of course. I step inside one of the bathroom stalls taking off my hoodie being careful of my bandages and stepping out of my pants. The air feels cold against my skin the feeling of eyes on me makes me every aware of the fact that I'm in my underwear with a hot guy just two feet away. Looking around I search for my work uniform. Shitt I dropped my bag on the table outside the stall just great Olivia I scold myself.

"Hey um Lucas..ca..can you please hand me my dress that's in my bag?" There a long pause of awkward silence then shuffling and then his hand appeared in the open crack of the door with my dress. I slip on the dress and gather my stuff.

Opening the stall door completely coming face to face with Lucas, how long has he been standing there? I don't know if I should be creeped out or... okay I don't know what else I should feel. If he was standing there he saw it ,the scars and the tattoo but he couldn't possibly know what it means.

Embarrassment washed over me I should have covered up my scars but to be honest I didn't think I would meet anyone at school who would see me standing in my underwear. His eyes rake over my body hovering over my thighs and breasts, the red and black dress is above knee length..way above. Bending over in this dress would show my ass this dress shows as my boss would say the 'right' amount of cleavage which in short means your boobs look like their on the verge to escape.

I turn my back to him letting my hair fall to the side, his hands trembled as he slowly zipped up my dress the warmth of his hand traveling up my spine with the zipper giving me goosebumps. I thank him and grab my bag stuffing al my clothes in it I can feel his eyes burning a hole into my back the silence almost deafening.

Clearing my throat I shrug my bag over my shoulder and walked out.

After fifteen minutes of walking and Lucas talking about what I believe is his brothers and how mental they are we finally made it to the diner.

The bell above the door dings when we open the door and I lead the way to one of the tables at the back away from the late night rush, our seat is overlooked by the window showing nothing but people coming to or leaving their homes and the last rays of sunshine before the sun disappears behind the mountains.

"Where in the bloody hell is the waitress around here I am starving" he moans with a sigh I get up talking out a small notebook and pen from my dress pocket facing Lucas "Hi I'm Olivia welcome to Jack's diner I'll be your waitress this evening. What can I get you?" I say in my work voice which says 'I'm happy' our boss thinks if we act happier more customers would come in,pffftt yeah right.

The look of confusion and disbelief on his face was replaced with a sly smile "Are you kidding me, you work here" I just nod and wait for him to order "I would like a thick strawberry milkshake, please remember to shake the cow and I would like a double cheeseburger with fries."

I take his order in and take another customer's order, clearing off a table the chef Carlos dings a little bell and I take the food to Lucas he gives me cute smile.

After what felt like twenty customers later I smelled like cheap filter coffee and bacon, my feet are killing me and Lucas is finally done eating so I quickly take his empty plate and glass balancing them on a tray "Anything else?" I ask tired "what's good for dessert around here?" He leans over the table his eyes never leaving mine his tongue running over his lips It takes every bit of control I had not to look at those lips "The chocolate volcano it is then" I give his order to the chef.

The diner got quiet around midnight and the only people occupying the almost empty diner is me, our chef Carlos, Cindy the other waitress and Lucas.

"So when do you get off from work?" he asks skimming the menu I look at the time on my phone again before going back to cleaning tables.” in about 12 hours and 15 minutes"

"Why don't you only just work the nightshift" everyone burst out laughing at him "she has never in eight years since she started working here only worked one shift, she’s always worked doubles" Carlos mentions through laughs "So your telling me she's been working here since she was like twelve years old, why?" The laughter stopped and that only confused him more I step closer to the counter which everyone was leaning on next to Carlos "Ella no va a tomar dinero excepto si ella trabajó por su dinero" (she won't take money, except if she worked for her money)Carlos says eyeing my wrists that are covered by my sleeves he knows about the cutting and he understands why, he doesn't like that I do it but he understands. He's told me on many occasions that he wishes I would stop and that shows to me that he cares and I'm not quite use to that. I lightly swat Carlos on his shoulder with a drying cloth.

The look on Lucas's face tells me he didn't understand what Carlos said and I couldn't be happier because at least he won't ask too many questions. His confusion didn't go unnoticed by Carlos "what you don't speak Spanish?"

"No but now I know why the food here is so great and since I'm going to be here for twelve hours. I think I would like everything on the menu, please" Lucas hands the menu back to me and winks at Carlos I can't help but smile at the situation. It took Carlos a few seconds to realize that he wasn't joking I must admit it even shocked me "where are you going to put it all" Carlos mutters going into the kitchen.

Finally my shift ended at around one am and Lucas was still here just taking the last bite of our bacon, cheese and grilled steak sub. I grab my bag and say my goodbyes to everyone and walk out of the diner only to bump into Lucas, we have to stop meeting like this it's weird.

"Now that was a great snack, mind if I crash at your place love" before I could answer he cuts me off "Thanks I knew you wouldn't mind hey maybe your mom's food tastes just as amazing as the diner's" he says rubbing his stomach.

The thought of my mother brings so much pain I remember how she would leave me in that wretched place and how she would come back just in time to save, only to go away again for two hours and come back drugged and bruised every day the same story until my father found us.

My stomach twisted at the memory bile rose in my mouth I run to a bush letting my stomach empty out "okay maybe her food is horrible I get it but does she make good bacon?" He asks holding my hair up "I'm fine let's just go" I wipe my mouth and we walked home.

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