URGENT DESPERATION
1063 Words
Morning didn’t arrive gently.
It dragged itself into the room, heavy, quiet, unwanted.
Esme had been awake long before it came.
She sat at the edge of Elena’s mattress, shoulders slightly hunched, elbows resting on her thighs. A pair of borrowed heels lay on the floor in front of her. She nudged one with her toe, watching it tilt and fall back into place. Too tight at the front. Too loose at the back. Like they belonged to someone who had their life together.
The fan above creaked as it turned, slow and tired, pushing around warm air that did nothing.
On the floor beside her…
Three printed resumes. The edges are already soft from being handled too much.
Two rejection emails glowing faintly on her phone screen.
One missed call.
Her thumb hovered over it… then dropped.
Elena’s voice cut through the silence, rough with sleep.
“You’re thinking again.”
Esme didn’t look up. Her fingers pressed into her temples for a second before dropping back to her lap.
“I need a job.”
A pause. The sound of Elena stretching, bones popping.
“You need food,” Elena said, padding toward the tiny kitchen. “You need money. You need sleep.” A cupboard door opened. Closed. “And you need to stop looking like someone stole your soul.”
That pulled something small from Esme, a breath that almost passed for a laugh.
“Feels like they did.”
“Next.”
The word wasn’t called.
It was thrown.
Esme stood so quickly her chair scraped against the floor. She murmured a quick “sorry” to no one in particular and stepped forward, clutching her file closer to her chest.
The receptionist didn’t look at her.
Didn’t ask her name.
Didn’t take the file.
A flick of the hand…dismissive, impatient.
“No vacancy.”
Esme stopped mid-step.
“Oh… I actually— I brought my…”
“No vacancy.”
This time slower. Sharper.
Final.
The words landed before she could even open the file. Her fingers stayed frozen around it, knuckles pale, like if she loosened her grip everything else would fall apart with it.
She nodded.
Once.
Stepped back.
No one noticed when she sat down again. Or when she stood up a few seconds later and walked out.
The door shut behind her with a soft click that somehow felt louder than the rejection.
The second place smiled at her.
A warm smile. A polite one.
The kind that made you believe for a second.
She sat. She answered questions. She even laughed once small, careful, like she didn’t want to take up too much space.
“We’ll get back to you.”
The smile stayed.
But it didn’t reach their eyes.
She knew before she even stood up.
Still, she said, “Thank you,” like it meant something.
The third place smelled like coffee.
Rich. Warm.
The kind of place people stayed in longer than they needed to.
Esme paused outside the glass door, catching her reflection. She smoothed her blouse, ran her fingers over her hair, pressed her lips together, then forced them into something close to a smile.
“You can do this,” she whispered.
Inside, the air-conditioning wrapped around her like false comfort.
“Good morning,” she said.
The woman at the desk nodded, already half-looking away.
“CV?”
Esme handed it over carefully, like it mattered.
The woman skimmed the first page.
Then the second.
A pause.
Hope lifted just a little.
Then…
“You don’t have enough experience.”
It wasn’t harsh.
Just… flat.
Esme’s fingers tightened around the strap of her bag.
“I can learn quickly,” she said, stepping forward before she could stop herself. “I’ve handled admin work before, and I’m—”
“We need someone ready.”
The CV slid back across the desk.
Conversation over.
Esme picked it up slowly.
“Thank you,” she said again.
Her voice sounded… distant. Like it had already left the building before she did.
By the fourth place, she didn’t bother fixing her blouse.
Didn’t check her reflection.
She just walked in.
Walked out.
She couldn’t even remember what they said.
Only the look.
That quick, measuring glance that ended before it began.The fifth didn’t let her in.A hand stopped her at the door.“Drop it there.”There.A small table.Stacked with other CVs.Different names.Same paper. Same quiet desperation.
For a second, Esme didn’t move.
Her fingers held onto her file just a little tighter.
Then… slowly… she placed it down.
It made no sound.
Still, it felt loud.
Like something inside her had just been set aside with it.
By the sixth…
Her smile was still there.
But it trembled.
Barely holding.
“I have experience in administrative…”
“We need references.”
Too quick.
Too easy.
Like she’d heard it before.
Esme blinked. “I can get…”
“We need experience.”
A pause.
Short.
Heavy.
Her mouth opened.
Closed.
Everything she had rehearsed… every sentence… every “I can” just sat there, stuck somewhere between her chest and her throat.
“We’ll call you.”
Softer now.
Almost kind.
Almost.
Esme nodded.
“Okay… thank you.”
This time, it barely came out.
Outside, the sun felt too bright. The noise was too loud. Cars. Voices. Movement. Everything continued. Like nothing had just chipped away at her piece by piece.
She walked.
She didn’t know where.
Didn’t stop.
Her steps slowed eventually, her shoulders dropping just slightly just enough to feel the weight she’d been holding up all day.
Her grip on the file loosened.
A page slipped out.
She didn’t pick it up immediately.
Just stared at it.
Then bent down slowly, like even that took effort.
And that’s when it happened.
A sudden collision.
Sharp.
Unexpectedly.
“s**t…”
Hot liquid splashed across her blouse.
The cup hit the ground with a dull thud, rolling slightly before settling.
For a second, everything froze.
Esme looked down.
Coffee soaked into the fabric, spreading quickly, warm against her skin.
A breath caught in her throat.
Then…
“I’m so sorry.”
The voice was close.
Too close.
She looked up.
And for the first time that day…
Something shifted.
Not hope.
Not yet.
But something.
Something she hadn’t been expecting at all.
- Writer
- chap_listContents
- likeADD