Enemies and Lovers

The Palace

The palace felt vast enough to swallow her whole.

Sarah’s room was near the princess’s quarters. The place was always buzzing with people, and yet the moment Sarah had to go back to her room, or spy on the princess at night silently, hidden amongst the shadows, she felt that the place would consume her whole. She felt incredibly small.

She loved the princess, who, with her bustling energy, ready smiles and sweet nature, had won her over. But she felt like an outsider there, an intrusion upon the lives of the royal family. She realized now, how, despite all its faults, the town at least kept her occupied. In the palace, loneliness haunted her. Even when she spied on the royals from the shadows, she felt a pang of loneliness. She missed Layla, and when the helpers came in to dress her, she would tell them about how Layla would braid her hair, or how she would let the soft waves fall over her shoulders, with a brooch on the back of her hair.

Sarah woke up screaming, clutching her chest and jumping off her bed. She stood dazed in the middle of the room, the soft Persian rug on her feet. The bed was circular and huge, but she always slept on one corner of the bed, curled up. The sheets were messed up, a testimony to her nightmares.

She sighed and walked barefoot to the balcony that was as huge as her terrace back home. She felt calm there. On her first week there, she had planted jasmines and roses, the smell always lulled her to sleep after a long night of spying.

She soaked in the sun.

She was sure she would never feel like she belonged, that the place would always feel foreign, so she had decided to simply soak in little moments of happiness and normalcy.

The princess had decided to host a ball in Sarah’s honor. She felt touched by the princess’s kindness. She had loved reading about them in books back home, and now that she had to attend one, she wasn’t as excited as she had hoped. It seemed like an unnecessary security risk.

She turned at the sound of footsteps. Anne stood by the door, a small smile on her face. When Sarah had first arrived, Anne and Emma were afraid of her. Then she forced them to have tea with her and they managed to have a nice conversation. She thought if they got along, it might just make her life easier. And now it felt good to know that Anne and Emma, who spent hours dressing her and waiting on her, didn’t think they needed to fear for their lives.

“Your Imperial Highness,” she said.

Razah sauntered into the room, looking devilishly handsome. His hair in disarray, and a smug smile on his lips.

Anne left, giving Sarah a wink.

Sarah walked back into her room and picked up a cashmere gold embroidered shawl that Emma had probably laid. The clothes selected for her by Wanda, the princess, were too skimpy.

“I think it’s too hot for a shawl,” Razah said, biting his lip.

“Try wearing these flimsy night clothes and attending a work meeting right after bed." She narrowed her eyes. "Why are you in my room? I sent you a report last night.”

Sarah sent Razah reports of her work every night. It was always coded in the form of love letters, and compiling them always made her laugh.

She hadn’t seen Razah after she had come back to the palace except for a few dinners with Wanda. They had met during the princess's travels, and she had begun to detest him a little less. In the palace they communicated through letters.

“All those love letters and no meetings might make people here suspicious.”

“Maybe I’m shy.”

“No you aren’t.”

Sarah wanted to punch the smirk off his face.

“Why are you here? I told you everything with the princess is going well, though she might not be your real sister, because I don’t know how someone so sweet could be related to you.”

Razah moved around her room, he stopped by her bed.

“You have made quite a mess of your sheets. Where did you find the lucky person? Be careful or the palace staff might begin to gossip.”

Sarah rolled her eyes, and walked out to the terrace. If he wanted to talk, he would just have to do it while she sat under the sun.

He followed her outside, walking up to the jasmines, a smile on his face.

“I didn’t think you liked flowers.”

“Who doesn’t like flowers?”

He shrugged.

“I think I thought you liked stuffed dead birds, or really angry blood-written letters, you’re always so intense.”

She laughed, throwing her head back. The first real laugh she had since she moved to the palace.

“Nope, I like these flowers, they remind me of home.”

“And where is that?”

“It’s far.”

“You don’t want to go back.”

“It’s complicated.” She let out a breath. Trying to stop the tears that might have fallen.

She turned her head to see Razah staring at her, a curious look on his face.

“It’s rude to stare, you know,” she said.

He shook his head, and sat across her.

“Do you like it here, or I mean, is there anything you might want? I just thought I might ask you.”

“You could’ve just sent in a letter.”

“I could’ve.”

Sarah bit her lip. She did not like the intensity of his stare. The way his dark eyes seemed to shine under the sun, or the way the breeze danced through his hair, or the fact that she could see the shape of his muscular body underneath his tunic. She didn’t like being nervous around him.

“Nope, all good here, um, though I would like my knife back actually.”

“You mean the one you used to stab me.”

“Yep, the very same.”

They laughed.

They sat in silence then, for a few moments, as if wanting to soak in a sweet moment before it passed away.

“Jasmines were my mother’s favorite as well, the entire palace would smell like jasmine in summer.”

“What happened to her?”

“They say it was an infection, from a cut, but I know that it wasn’t, that someone had poisoned her, my own father refused to acknowledge the murder, he simply threw himself into his royal duties as if working could somehow make him forget ma was dead.”

“That’s why you wanted me to look after Wanda, because you think someone is trying to harm her as well, I just assumed you were a very paranoid person.”

He nodded.

“You know your father, the Emperor, he is grieving in his own way, sometimes it’s easier to deal with the sadness and hopelessness when you throw yourself into your work.”

“Is that what you’re doing, trying to forget something?”

She blinked, surprised at his comment.

“Why would you say that?”

“Because, when I look at you I feel like I am seeing two different versions of you all the time, this girl with the warmth of the sun in her heart right now and the girl who had plunged a knife in my throat,” he looked at her, as if he were trying to pry open all her secrets.

She looked away, running a finger through her hair.

“I don’t know what to tell you other than the fact that I am trying to do my job well, the princess is safe, she is meeting no one suspicious, I make sure all her food is tasted prior to her meals, I have been keeping an eye on her even when I am not in the room with her, and through all the charity talks and gossips, I believe she is in no imminent danger, and I have followed the people she corresponds with, they seem all clear too, but I will continue to look out for any signs of trouble.”

She stood up, and walked back to her room.

“I didn’t come just to ask you about my sister, I like reading your letters you know, the little jokes you sneak in, I look forward to those letters all day.”

She nodded, keeping her eyes fixed on the floor.

“I like writing them, it’s fun, looking at your sister, with her cousins and friends, surrounded with all that love, and then coming back here, to this huge room. I guess it feels nice to think that I’m writing to a friend.”

“Well then, I will be honored to be your friend.”

She offered him a small smile, clutching her shawl tighter.

“I’ll see you tonight. Apparently, there’s a ball in honor of the princess’s friend”

“I’ve heard she’s the most beautiful lady in the Empire. I hope she’ll honor me with a dance.”

They laughed.

She watched as the prince walked out the door, wondering why she couldn’t get rid of the smile on her face.

**