Porcelain Shell

Porcelain Shell

“My name is Violet and today I’m gonna die. There’s no other choice anymore…

It was a beautiful summer day. My mum and I spent the whole day in the town and we returned home later evening. The weather was mild and I could enjoy the summer magic breeze upon my face. I felt really happy. It was the first day after a long time that we had a little quality time together. My mum was a hard-working woman. She was working all day in order to bring money and food at home. We hadn’t any other financial source. On the other hand, I was a student and I couldn’t work because I was spending the half-day at school and the other half doing my homework. Mum needed a short break.

When we arrived home we sat in our balcony and made some tea. I still remember its taste. Ice tea with peach flavor and cookies that mum had baked before. She wanted just to treat me. She made all this atmosphere and light also a small lantern. I was feeling blessed. I didn’t have a clue about what was going to happen.

We spend a few hours on the balcony talking about many things like future plans and our goals. She was happy too. It has been a long time since I’ve seen my mother smiling and now she looked to have fun. The hours were passing by and the sky got black, it was time to go for sleeping. We needed a good sleep, mum was so tired, all she wanted was to close her eyes. We went in and we left the candlelight on the table. Mum decided to sleep on the living room’s couch and leave the balcony door open because It was very hot and her bedroom didn’t have a window like mine. She kissed me on the head and she lay on the sofa. I went into my room too.

It was close to midnight when a terrible screaming makes me woke up. It was my mum’s voice who was screaming for help. The whole house had been wrapped in flames. I woke up abruptly and saw the fire in my doorway. I ran and jumped above and tried to find my mum.

“Violet, ran, go away! She was screaming ” She was in a corner with big fire waves around her.

She was totally burning. I couldn’t leave my mother. I run at her place and tried to catch her hand but a flaming shelf falls on her and the fire spread. Now her whole body was in flame. I tried to firn some water but our kitchen and bathroom were burning too. I had to act immediately. I open the door and scream for help.

“Violet run” her voice screamed to me all the time. Then two men of the fire service that our neighbors had called, come and wrap me in their hand.

“Mum! Don’t leave her, help my mum” I was screaming but now my mother's voice wasn’t sound. Three other men arrived and run to the house in order to find her. Mum had fallen unconscious. It was too late for anything, SHE WAS ALREADY DEAD.

Many hours should have passed since I I regained my senses again. The only thing I was remembered before I ve been in the hospital, was two tall men wrap my arms as I was screaming. Then suddenly, everything around me turned black and when I opened my eyes again I was on the bed of a hospital. I tried hard to recall what exactly had happed but I was sure only for that: I had lost my mother. My whole body was in pain and I fell my head twice heavy. As I was trying to get up, I saw the door open. It was my aunt Margaret.

“How do you feel my child?” she asked me as she came closer to me. Aunt Margaret was my mother’s first cousin.I stood up sitting and wrapped my arms around her.I hugged her tight and I began crying.

“Oh, you poor little girl! I feel so sorry about what happened. Your mother’s death was a real tragedy. Now, I want you to try to find the strange to carry on. I would like it if you come to my house. As you see I am all alone, we would be a great company.” she said

“I would like it, but I have to go in my house first. I want to see how it has been done and if there is anything intact to take with me.” I answered removing the tears from my face.

“It doesn’t have to do this sweetheart! I have already been at your flat and I packed everything that had been saved from the fire. I have brought you a box with everything I found in a good situation..” She said and show me a paper box under the commode next to my bed. She held it in her hands and gave it to me.

I opened the box carefully. There ware many clothes and jewels inside but my gaze fell on a specific object.,a porcelain doll. It was my mother’s gift. She bought it for me when I was eight years old. She knew how much I loved to dress up like a doll and present that I was living in a dollhouse. I always feel jealous about the doll’s velvet white face and their beautiful clothes. I hold it in my hands and the tears overwhelmed my eyes for one more time.

“I miss her so much! I can’t think of my life without her. There is nothing that makes me wanna keep on living. I want my mother back” I complained and then crying out Ι burst into tears.

I spend the following three days in Margaret’s home. I was roaming like a ghost back and forth among the rooms. I didn’t do absolutely anything. I wanted neither eat nor drink. I didn’t want to take a bath or even go for sleeping. I was already dead, I just didn’t know it.

Many friends called me those days. They wanted to know how I was after the accident. My best friend Sylia was coming to visit me on a daily basis but I didn’t have anything to talk about with her. I couldn't find anything funny enough in order to laugh and I couldn’t also cry anymore. The only thing I felt was a huge empty space inside me. It seems it had no end. Until then, I knew exactly how the pain feels like but this feeling was something different. There was feeling no motivation for living, I was a cold body. Day by the day, my situation was getting worst and aunt Margaret began to worry seriously a lot. She really tried everything in order to bring me back, but without a result. She bought me new clothes, my favorite books and also brought me the most tempting food. Margaret couldn’t do anything more. She brought me everything except the only damned thing I really needed: my mother.

That night of the fourth day I took the bravest decision. I would give an end to my endless condemnation. I had already thought of any other option and I came to the conclusion that there was nothing to make me want to be alive. Everything inside me was almost dead. There wasn’t not even one reason to want to live for. Every thought of a happy future life was a grand illusion for me. I tried hard to think of just one reason worths living for, a life dream, a big goal, or the one and only love, but nothing of those worth without my mother. Since I was born she was my whole world. I never met my father, I didn’t know even his face. He left my mother when she was pregnant so my only family was her. She was my refuge and at the same time, the father and sister I d never had. She was my best friend and the hug I was crying at every time I fell broken. There wasn’t anything strong enough to keep me alive. That night I would give an end.

It was close to 3 am. I was waiting for the right moment when Margaret would go to sleep. I had planned everything. When I got sure that she was sleeping deeply, I went into the bathroom and took the little bottle with Margaret’s analgetic pills. Then I returned to the bedroom and dressed up with my favorite white dress that mum had bought me for the school prom. I hold on my hands my little porcelain doll, I went down the stairs quietly and I went out of the house. I would go to my mother’s grave, I would lay upon her tomb with my doll beside me and I would swallow all the pills in the bottle. It was the time I went to find her. That’s what exactly happened!

Don’t worry about me anymore. I can say I am truly happy now. At least I am with my mother and my new body will stay close to her forever. I would ask you only one thing …If you find me fallen on the ground… please, put me back where you had found me before, standing with my back on the marble cross”

The unknown man felt his hands starting trembling The paper letter fell from his hands. Now he had already understood the role of a creepy weird doll upon the grave he was standing in front of. He furled the letter from the ground, he folded it and put it back in its place. Then he touched my porcelain skin, caressed dearly my fake blonde curls and he fixed me better on my mother’s tomb.