Of Fish, Flirting, and Utter Humiliation 💘🙈
1370 Words
When Grandma said “We’ll be leaving at dawn,” I assumed she was speaking metaphorically.
She was not.
At precisely 5:02 a.m., Obi pulled up in the battered pickup truck 🚚, headlights glaring like judgment itself. He leaned out the window and honked twice, as if we were a construction crew about to start a shift.
I wanted to cry. 😭
Mimi, naturally, was wide awake and vibrating with excitement 🥳. Chloe stumbled out in her strawberry-print pajamas 🍓, clutching her phone like it was a life vest. Vivian, despite her best efforts, looked like a model doing the walk of shame in a designer blazer over her silk slip dress 💃. Luna refused to come. She claimed she had “spiritual fatigue.” Whatever that meant.
Grandma emerged in her sturdy market sandals 👡, looking fresh as a daisy 🌼. Meanwhile, I resembled a sleep-deprived raccoon 🦝.
“Let’s move, girls!” Grandma barked, brandishing her woven shopping basket like a weapon 🧺. “Fresh fish waits for no one.”
---
The drive was a special kind of t*****e 😵.
I slid into the passenger seat, still half-asleep. Obi, annoyingly chipper, glanced over.
“Seatbelt,” he said in that maddeningly calm voice.
“Do you ever have a bad mood?” I grumbled, buckling up.
“Only when certain people complain before sunrise.”
I gave him a look. “You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?”
His lips twitched. “A little.”
We drove in silence for a minute before he spoke again, voice suspiciously gentle. “You look…nice today.”
I narrowed my eyes. “Are you mocking me?”
“No.”
“Because if you are—”
“I’m not,” he said, fighting a smile. “Though you could’ve worn…you know…actual clothes.”
I looked down at my leggings and oversized hoodie. “This is actual clothes.”
He didn’t argue. Just shook his head, eyes crinkling with amusement 🥰. And I hated—truly hated—how warm my face felt. 😳
---
We pulled up to the fish market, and the smell hit me like a slap 👃💥.
It was the stench of a thousand sea creatures meeting their demise 🐠💀. Chloe gagged instantly, pressing her phone to her nose like it might filter the air 🤢.
“Oh my God,” she wheezed. “I’m going to die.”
Mimi, unfazed, clapped her hands. “It smells like adventure!” 🏴☠️
Vivian muttered, “It smells like something crawled up here to rot.”
Grandma ignored us all and marched forward, basket swinging. “Stay close!”
---
The fish market was an assault on the senses 🎯. Vendors shouting prices 💰, buyers arguing 🤬, fish flopping in shallow tubs 🐟. And the noise—so much noise.
I tried to walk carefully, but some squid liquid splattered across my shoe, and I nearly screamed 😱.
“That’s it,” I hissed to Obi, who was standing nearby, trying (and failing) to hide his grin. “This is the worst day of my life.”
He raised an eyebrow. “You said that yesterday.”
“Yesterday was a warm-up.”
---
While Grandma haggled over red snapper 🐟, I tried not to pass out. Chloe was taking selfies (for what, I had no clue) 🤳, and Mimi was giving names to every fish she saw.
“Look, Scarlett!” she squealed, pointing. “That one’s called Sparkles Two!”
“That’s a tilapia, Mimi.”
“She has dreams,” Mimi insisted solemnly. “Respect them.” 😌
---
Then, just when I thought the day couldn’t get worse, Vivian froze like she’d seen a ghost 👻.
“Oh no,” she whispered, eyes wide.
I followed her gaze—and there he was. Sam. The shy, nerdy legal assistant from Vivian’s firm 👔. He was carrying a brown shopping bag and looking impossibly wholesome in a blue button-down 💙.
“Oh no,” I echoed, delighted. “Is that your office crush?”
“Shut up!” she hissed, ducking behind a stack of coolers.
“Vivian, he already saw you,” I said, smirking. “And you look adorable.”
“I look like I slept in a broom closet.”
Sam’s face lit up as he spotted her 😊. “Vivian?”
Vivian closed her eyes in silent agony. “Kill me.”
He jogged over, looking genuinely thrilled 🥹. “What a surprise! Are you…shopping?”
“No,” she blurted. “I mean—yes. Obviously.”
Sam smiled shyly. “That’s…great. You look…um…nice.”
Vivian looked like she might spontaneously combust 💥.
---
Grandma, who’d been inspecting a bucket of prawns 🍤, turned around and beamed 🌟. “Who is this fine young man?”
Vivian stammered, “He’s—he’s just—”
“I’m Sam,” he said, extending his hand ✋. “I work with Vivian.”
Grandma’s face lit up like a Christmas tree 🎄. “Ah! A colleague. Such good manners! Are you married?”
Vivian made a strangled sound 😬.
Sam flushed bright red 🥵. “Uh—no, ma’am.”
“Girlfriend?”
“No.”
Grandma clapped her hands 👏. “Then you must come by the house sometime. It’s so hard to find polite young men these days.”
I was cackling inside 😂. Vivian shot me a death glare that promised retribution.
Sam, bless him, looked flustered but pleased 🫢. “Thank you, ma’am. That’s very kind.”
“You’re most welcome,” Grandma said warmly 😊. “Vivian never brings friends home. You must come.”
“I—I’d like that,” Sam stammered.
Vivian looked like she might actually faint 🫠.
---
After Sam finally wandered off—still blushing—Vivian turned to me, voice low and murderous 😈. “If you breathe a word of this—”
“I’m just saying,” I whispered gleefully, “he’s cute.”
“Scarlett.”
“And he likes you.”
“Scarlett!”
I grinned. “I ship it.” 🚢
---
Back at the truck 🚚, Obi was leaning against the door, arms crossed, watching the entire spectacle with open amusement.
“Fun morning?” he asked.
“Shut up,” I muttered, clambering into the passenger seat.
Vivian climbed in behind me, still traumatized 😵💫. “I need coffee. And a new identity.”
Obi looked at her in the mirror. “That bad?”
“She thinks Grandma just proposed marriage on her behalf,” I supplied helpfully.
Obi tried to look sympathetic. He failed 😂.
---
On the way home, Grandma was in high spirits, humming to herself 🎶.
“I like that Sam,” she announced. “He seems grounded.”
Vivian slumped lower in her seat 😩. “Please stop.”
“I’m serious,” Grandma said. “You could do worse.”
“I’d rather do nothing.”
Grandma shot her a knowing look 🤨. “That’s how it starts.”
Vivian groaned and buried her face in her hands 😫. “Kill me.”
Scarlett narrator note: She’s in denial, dear listeners. Classic enemies-to-lovers trajectory, with a nerdy twist ❤️.
---
When we finally got back 🏠, Chloe fled to disinfect herself 🧴, Mimi ran to show Luna her fish photos 📸, and Vivian stomped upstairs to pretend none of it happened 🫥.
I lingered by the truck to grab the last bag, only to find Obi still leaning against the door, studying me 👀.
“What?” I snapped.
He tilted his head, eyes warm ✨. “You survived.”
“Barely.”
“And you didn’t faint.”
I lifted my chin. “I have hidden depths.”
His mouth curved in that infuriating half-smile 😏. “Sure you do.”
I held his gaze a moment too long before shoving the bag into his arms.
“Next time,” I said, “I’m staying home.”
But the truth? I wasn’t sure I’d mind the drive—if it meant seeing him smirk at me again ❤️.
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