Finding Maddy

Broken heart

Dom

Michael had to work, so I volunteered to help Maddy check out of the hospital. I was so excited to get her home. The familiar surroundings might trigger a memory. It was hard keeping my parents away. They were so anxious about the wellbeing of the pack's future Luna. They were doing their best to be supportive, but it was difficult for everyone knowing that my mate didn’t know who I was. It was worse than being rejected. I could feel her, but it was like our tether had been cut. It came from me and just stopped as it reached her.

I went to the nurse's station and signed the paperwork. Since I was put down as one of the next of kin, I was able to go through everything with a minimum of fuss. I was given a wheelchair to take her from the room to my car. I pushed it up next to the bed and started to gather her things. As I turned back to Maddy, I noticed that she seemed... different. Not just the confused feeling that she has had since she woke up. But an almost cold feeling. I couldn’t help but ask, “Are you ok? Did you want to stay another day or 2? If you aren’t ready to go home, I can talk to your Doctor....”

She stared at me for a minute, I couldn’t help but shuffle under her still gaze. “No, I want to go home.” She quietly replied. After we left the hospital, she was so quiet. The car ride felt awkward. I didn’t know what to say to reach her. I felt so clumsy. All my wolf instincts and reflexes were useless. The voice in the back of my head just kept telling me to kiss her, take her. Make her body remember me. I shut off my animal side. The growl as he went quiet left me shaking my head. I wanted to act on those feelings just as much as my wolf did. She was my mate. I needed her, and she wasn’t there.

I pulled into the driveway and quickly moved around to the passenger door. I opened it and helped her get out. She was stable as she walked to front of the house. As I grabbed her bag, I couldn’t help but wish she was a little weaker and more wobbly so I would have an excuse to hold her and help her inside. But the thought of seeing her like that made my chest feel tight.

I brought her bag inside and turned to her. She was looking at me as if I had done something wrong. A look of anger and hurt flashed past her eyes. That glance stopped me in my tracks and all my instincts screamed that something bad was going to happen. I reached for her “Maddy....”

Maddy

I watched him lift his arms up to embrace me. Part of me wanted to fall into his touch and lean against his firm chest. But the things that woman.... Cecelia.... said to me float in my mind. They are in love. I am hurting them. I am forcing this man to be with me. What kind of person am I? I was angry at him for being so kind to me. I was angry at myself for entertaining the thought that I should just continue and see how far this will go. To do what I have done, my feelings must have been so strong. No. That is not who I want to be. I am not that kind of person. I stand firm and look at him in the eyes. “Dominick, thank you for your help and all the care you have shown me. But I would like to be alone now. And actually, I think I want to be alone for a while. I don’t think we should see each other again. I would appreciate it if you could please leave.”

I watch his face drop. My heart tightens and my will starts to crumble. I just want to pull him close and tell him it’s a mistake. But I stand firm. His hand trembles and reaches for me. I step back and watch his hand drop to his side. His moth opens and closes as if he wants to say something but doesn't know how. “can you please just go?” I walk forward and give him a gentle push. He is still in shock and just moves so easily. I shut and lock the door as I take a few deep breathes. My heart hurts. My hand comes up to squeeze my top over my heart. I hear a knock. And another. And another. Over and over he raps his hand against the door. I hear him call my name. Begging me to let him in. To talk to him. Asking me why. “JUST GO! Please.”

Dom

I can’t seem to catch my breathe. My whole body aches. I don’t understand. What happened? How... how can this be happening. “please. Maddy, please. Just talk to me.” I lean against the door. I am frozen. Times passes. Seconds, minutes, an hour. I take a step back, place my palm against the door. I can feel her. Despite what she said, she is still on the other side of the door. She never moved away. “Ok Maddy. I’ll go now. But I will be back. Again and again. I don’t know why you want to break up, but I can’t accept it. My heart is yours. It has been since the moment I met you. You are the love of my life. And I will do whatever it takes to remind you what we mean to each other.” I mindlessly walk back to the car. I drive home on instinct. I just go straight to my room and fall on my bed. I can’t move. I can’t breathe. The tears fall down my face and dampen my pillow and I fade into nothingness. The darkness of sleep takes over and shelters my shattered heart.

Every day I go to her house. After a while, Michael answered and came out to talk to me. He was as confused as I was. He said he would try to talk to her, but she was his sister, and her wishes would come first. He patted me on the shoulder and gave me a sympathetic smile before telling me to go home for now as he went back inside. As I walk back to the car, I smell her. The vanilla and cinnamon scent overwhelms my senses as I turn to look up to her window. It is open and she is standing there. She is so beautiful. She looks sad and I want to leap up and pull her into my arms. She turns away. And I leave. Her face haunting me.