The Two of Us

I'm Sorry

Alice stood there for moments in shock. She had never seen her best friend cry so hard in her entire life.

Peter rushed past Alice, the expression of shame playing on his face. Susan was yelling at him inaudibly, but all could tell that she was heartbroken. Alice remembered the night Susan could not stop talking about Phillip.

Alice knelt down to Susan, rubbing her back for comfort, gently. She smiled softly, offering her a hand. "Come, Susan. Let's go to your room."

Susan wiped away her tears, holding onto Alice's hand. She continued sobbing, her cries weakening each time. "Thank you, Alice, I..."

In only a matter of seconds, she had broken into tears once again. Alice pulled her into a tight embrace, patting her on the back gently. "It's alright, Susan. You can let it all out now."

* * *

Peter was silent. He was in the outside garden, throwing rocks into the lake. Following Phillip's death, he had never blamed himself until his sister had pointed her finger at him.

He was interrupted by a figure joining in. "She didn't mean anything she said." Alice whispered in a gentle voice, "She wanted me to tell you that she was sorry."

Peter just nodded, letting out a troubled sigh. "I don't know what to do anymore."

"What do you mean?"

Peter stopped tossing stones, facing Alice. "It's my fault that Phillip had died so suddenly. I was the one supposed to take charge but he took the sacrifice!"

Peter explained how guilty he felt, thinking that it was him who should have died that day. He hid his face in his hands, disappointed, mumbling words of distraught.

"Peter," Alice placed her hand on his shoulder gently. "Don't say those kinds of things about yourself. Phillip had sacrificed himself for you, I doubt he'd like to hear you speak about it like this. Stop beating yourself up about it; it isn't your fault."

Peter sighed, nodding his head. "Yeah."

"Besides, Peter. I would have done the same thing for you."

Peter raised his head, looking at Alice in confusion. "You'd sacrifice yourself for me?" After Alice nodded, he broke into laughter. "Alice, listen. I'm not a person worth dying for. You must be stupid to sacrifice your life."

Alice frowned. Peter was missing the point. Alice was trying to show how much she cared about him. How she'd lay her life down for him. How she loved him. When Peter noticed her unimpressed expression, he tensed. "What?"

Alice stormed off in extreme disappointment. Peter was quick to grab onto her wrist before she made a complete exit. "Talk to me, Alice." She pulled her wrist away. "I'll talk to you once the Peter I used to know returns."

And with that statement, she left the garden, almost slamming the door.

Alice slammed the library door open, letting out a groan as she sat down. "Your brother can be so irritating!"

Edmund was sitting on the other side of the library, half asleep. "Hm?" He shot his head up, barely paying attention. "What did he do this time?"

Alice stood up from her chair, pacing back and forth. She couldn't sit still. "He's being absolutely inconsiderate and foolish! I mean, he basically called me an i***t. And possibly called King Phillip an i***t, too. Sometimes... Sometimes, I just want to hit him right in the head."

Edmund chuckled, "Then why don't you? What's stopping you?"

Alice stopped pacing, looking outside the window. Peter was still sitting there with his head in his hands. "Well, I don't know. Other times, Peter makes me feel special. Like, my heart flutters when I'm with him."

Then the thought of Olivia stuck her. "But then I feel different every time I think about me not being the first girl he ever liked. As if I were only a rebound."

Edmund shook his head, yawning. "If Peter was looking for a rebound, he would have chosen any girl to marry. I'm pretty sure he wants to marry you for a darn good reason."

"Yeah, right. Everybody wants to marry me. I have the largest land! Who'd refuse?" Alice furrowed her eyebrows. Her own words were hurting herself. "Sometimes the special moments I have with him feel like nothing when I keep those things in mind."

* * *

Alice's Point of View

I was just confusing myself. I don't know how Peter feels, but I also don't know how I feel. Do I genuinely like Peter or am I over him?

Part of me continues to worry about him everyday. And I always wonderㅡ how does he actually feel about me? Does he still love Olivia? I've been pushing myself to ask him. But, how do I explain myself? I've been going through letters I probably shouldn't have read.

Perhaps, what I am feeling is jealousy. Perhaps. Edmund tells me to make time to talk to Peter properly. There was never time for that.

Late at night, I head to the dining hall where I swore I saw Peter drinking. His head was hung low, looking frustrated. I didn't sit beside him, but only stood close enough for him to notice my presence.

"Peter," I started, "I'm sorry for earlier. I didn't mean to act so rude to you."

He nodded, looking up at me. His eyes were reddened. Was he ...crying?

"Forget about it, Alice. What are you doing up so late?"

"Why are you drinking so late in the night, Peter?" I ignore his question, hoping I didn't seem too rude. "I mean, King Peter."

"Don't call me that. What's wrong with you?" He stands up from his chair, taking a step towards me. He smelt like strong alcohol.

"You've been drinking too much, Peter."

"You've been avoiding me lately."

I gulped. I was honestly so afraid of Peter when he gets drunk. He's like a completely different person. He paced towards me, lifting up his hand. Unconsciously, I flinch.

I open my eyes, to see a sad-eyed Peter. He looked hurt. His hand was an inch away from holding my cheek.

"You thought I was going to hit you."

"No, Peter, Iㅡ"

I was always bad at lying.

He turned away, messing up his hair. "I keep f*****g up." His use of words shocked me. I had never heard Peter swear. Not even once. He turned to me, tears streaming down his face. "Alice, why?"

I look at him in confusion. No longer fearfully, but worriedly. "Why what, Peter? Talk to me."

"Alice, why won't you love me?" he asked, gently holding the side of my face. I blinked, speechless. I did love him. I'm unsure of my feelings right now, but I'm sure I did definitely love him at one point.

"Alice, I love you very much. Why can't you see that?" He was crying. Edmund told me people were much more honest when they drink alcohol. I hope he meant it, because the next second, we were kissing.

He held me tightly, snaking his arms around my waist to deepen the kiss. He was kissing me roughly, but at the same time, softly. Before the kiss got any deeper, I pulled away to breathe.

I was too surprised for words. As soon as I pulled away, Peter just stared at me as if he had just figured out what was going on. He was shaking his head slowly, looking at me with an apologetic expression plastered on his face. "A-Alice, Iㅡ I-I'm so sorry."