Shadows Of Emptiness
1368 Words
Alina´s POV
My house seems emptier than before. The silence is almost deafening, filling every corner with an invisible weight. I'm overcome by a feeling of loneliness that even I don't recognize. I've always lived alone and never had a problem with it, but now... now it feels like I need to be close to someone.
Maybe it's everything that's happened in the last few days. My emotions have been a wreck. My chest is heavy, my mind oscillates between confused thoughts, and I can't even tell if that's good or bad, I feel an almost insane tingling and warmth throughout my body.
There's also the fact that I've stopped taking my medication. That's nothing new. Whenever I feel I'm doing well, I go off the medication, believing I don't need it anymore. But then, slowly, I start to slip into a pit of melancholy and, before I know it, I'm at the bottom of it again. It's a never-ending cycle and it gets harder and harder to rise to the surface.
I've lost count of how many times I've promised myself I wouldn't do it again. That I would follow the medication as I should. But I always fall into the same trap of my own mind. I convince myself that I'm better, that I can control this on my own. But the truth is that I never can. I never can. And now, here I am, drowning once again in the darkness that I myself have allowed to grow.
“Maybe it's the lack of your partner.”
The voice inside my head makes me jump on the sofa. My heart races and I clutch my hand to my chest, trying to calm down.
- Oh, what a fright! - I take a deep breath. - I mean... I'm sorry. I'm still not used to having someone in my head.
“It's all right. We'll get used to each other. After all, we are one.”
Alid's voice, my wolf, sounds calm, as if she already knew this would happen.
- What did you mean by “missing my mate”?
“Every wolf has a mate. It's no different with you. Perhaps this emptiness we're feeling is exactly that.”
I frown, not quite understanding.
- Explain it to me. Samia told me that a predestined mate was like your other half... something about being destined for him.
“That's exactly it. The predestined companion is your other half, created by the moon goddess. Together, you would be one. A perfect, eternal bond. He would call out to you and you would recognize him immediately.”
I laugh, humorlessly.
- A perfect match? - I repeat, sarcastically. - That doesn't interest me in the slightest. I'm a hybrid. I don't even know what my other half is.
“Give it time. Maybe your partner can help you figure it out.”
I rolled my eyes and threw myself on the sofa, exhausted.
- And how would he do that?
“Werewolves hold dances and parties to find their mates. It's a tradition. But there are those who don't even need to, because their mates are already in their own pack.”
- Do you think Samia could take me to one of these dances?
“Yes. She can-”
- Wait. - I interrupt her, frowning.
Something's wrong.
- What is it, Alina? Are you all right?
My eyes scan the room. There's a smell in the air... Familiar, but strange at the same time. And there's another, fainter one. An almost faded trace.
My breathing quickens. My senses seem sharper than ever.
- Alid... - my voice comes out shaky. - I can smell everything in my kitchen. In fact, the whole house. Even people who passed through here a while ago. How is that possible?
“You're blooming, my dear.”
I swallow.
- That's... frighteningly incredible. Is this what it feels like to be a real wolf?
“You are a real wolf. In fact, you're more than that. You're everything they wish they could be, but can't.”
I narrow my eyes.
- That doesn't make sense. If it were true, they wouldn't be disgusted by me.
“Don't misjudge them. They've been taught that. Often, disgust is just fear in disguise.”
I cross my arms, annoyed.
- Well, I don't care. They can all go to hell.
My laughter breaks the tension a little, but then something catches my eye on my cell phone. A notification.
An e-mail. My heart sinks before I even open it.
“Staff cut” is written in capital letters.
My stomach churns. My eyes run across the text. Staff cuts. Looking at the documents, I see that I will receive a percentage for ongoing projects.
- Damn... Just now. Very suspicious and unprofessional.
“Fired? What do you mean?”
- Just like that. A cold, impersonal e-mail. At least they'll pay me for what I've already done.
I let out a bitter laugh.
- That's great. No work. Alone. This is rock bottom.
As if that wasn't bad enough, my cell phone vibrates once again. A message from Alfa Marco.
My fingers hesitate before touching the screen. I read the message once, twice.
I sigh. Maybe it's time to react? But how?
- Are you all right? - Alid asks.
- I'm... thinking.
“You can trust me. I'm part of you.”
- I know, but everything is happening too fast. I need some time.
Alid sighs.
“I understand. If you want, you can open your thoughts to me, I'll help you relax.”
- No. - My no comes out louder and firmer than it should.
Silently, I feel Alid retreating inside me.
“All right. I'll give you some time. But to be strong, we need to be united.”
I look away. - I just... need to get used to it. Having someone in my head all the time is strange.
Alid falls silent.
And for now, that's a relief. I have enough problems to deal with.
However, I don't stop looking for another one and quickly dial a message.
“Fired? 🤡”
While I'm waiting for a reply, something outside the house catches my eye. Someone is standing at my window, crying and staring at me. My heart races and we stay like that for a long time. In the dark, the figure looks like a homeless person, but I'm not sure.
The next thing I know, I'm slowly approaching and, as my eyes adjust, I realize it's a woman, she's dirty. Her face is bathed in tears, and her expression... is one of pure desperation.
- Are you all right? - I ask, keeping a calm tone. - Do you want some food? Water? A coat?
She doesn't answer. She just cries even more and, to my surprise, kneels on the ground, as if in front of something sacred.
A shiver runs down my spine.
- Look, if you need help, I can call the police or an ambulance. Are you in pain?
Nothing. No words. Just that pleading look, full of something I can't decipher.
My mind tells me to step back, to close the curtains and forget about it. But my body... it acts on its own. Without hesitation, I approach her. I haven't even realized how I got here.
Every step seems to be guided by something beyond me. My heart beats harder, but it's not fear. It's something different. A feeling I've never experienced before. I need to protect her.
As soon as I get close enough, the woman throws herself at my feet, clutching my legs as she cries compulsively, but I feel no fear or trepidation.
An overwhelming warmth takes hold of me. A wave of euphoria, as if a powerful energy were awakening inside my chest. My skin tingles, my breathing quickens and, without realizing it, my fingers slide through her hair in an instinctive gesture of comfort.
She, who once trembled with despair, now seems at peace.
And I... I only realize what I'm doing when it's too late.
What has just happened?
- Writer
