Six Guardians of the Underworld

Chapter 21

I got to my feet and raced over to the edge of the woods, looking out into the meadow and praying I would see my boys—Tony and Spike—out there waiting for me. Maybe they were just sleeping, exhausted from having their energy drained in the Gray. But all I saw were grasses swaying in the breeze, not even a butterfly in sight.

I became angry. Furious. The wyvern Long and her friend Mike the ogre were gone, too. They'd probably hightailed it out of there because they knew they'd screwed me over. I started thinking that Long had purposely kept Tony and Spike from being brought out of the Gray. Maybe she'd even colluded with Leck to get me there in the first place. She'd been living there in that hospital with Malena for who knew how long, and Malena had made sure to put me in Long's room. Maybe the entire thing had been a setup. I felt royally screwed and royally stupid too.

I looked at my friends, anger boiling inside my gut. "Leave."

“Jayne, I can’t just leave you here,” Scrum said, his face screwed up in concern.

"But, Jayne…," Becky said, reaching for me.

"Leave!" I yelled, my voice deep and not entirely my own. The darkness inside of me was rising again.

They must have seen how serious I was, because they all took one more look at me and scooted out of there. I've never seen Scrum run so fast. Becky disappeared into thin air, yanking Finn right along with her. He was going to be really sick when he arrived at the other end of her teleporting trip, but I didn't care. I didn't care about anything or anyone.

My temper flared hotter than it ever had before. Fire crackled along my fingertips, and I didn't stop it from coming. I pulled the Earth element into me, and then Wind and Water joined without conscious thought. All the elements were present inside me, and I could feel that they would soon split me into a million pieces—burn me up, drown me, bury me in the ground, and carry me away into the atmosphere—so I released them out into the world. I was soon surrounded by a tempest with the power of a hurricane and a tornado, a tsunami and an earthquake. The ground rumbled, water gathered in storm clouds above my head, nearby streams rose, wind bent trees to the point of breaking, and a fire started to spread from my feet, headed for the trees, and across the meadow. My life was over. The world was going to end. And I didn't care one bit.

A tiny voice cut through the din. "Jayne? Where's my mommy?"

I was so angry I didn't really hear or digest the words at first. I was distraught, let down, deceived, and infuriated…but then the voice came again.

"Jayne, I haffa pee. It's getting hot in here."

I looked down at my sports b*a. It was like the sound was coming from my boobs. The storm lessened in severity. I found my voice again. "Baby Bee, is that you?"

Something tickled in my cleavage and then a little head poked out. "Agent Willy reporting for duty." He lifted his tiny hand in a salute. His uniform scarf was all wonky, part of it sticking straight out to the side, the other piece pointing down. He couldn't have looked more ridiculous. Or more innocent. Or more fragile. What am I doing? Trying to kill an innocent baby pixie?

I dropped my arms and forced the elements to go back where they belonged, out of my body and out of the environment around me. I couldn't remember why I'd been so angry. The only emotions I could feel anymore were profound sadness and confusion. "Baby Bee, how did you get in there?"

"I'm a spy and a spy does not re…re…re… I don't remember the word. A spy doesn't tell."

I sighed, closing my eyes and praying for patience. Leave it to a pixie to spoil my plans for total annihilation. No wonder they were considered pests in the Overworld. I could totally relate. "You know you really could've gotten hurt in there."

"It's sweaty in here. And it smells funny. But it doesn't hurt. It's kinda squishy. Like a biiiiiig marshmallow. Squish, squish, squish." He was literally punching my left boob.

I pulled the edge of the b*a material away from my body. "Out. Get out. Right now."

"Are you mad at me?" He held onto the edge of the b*a with the backs of his arms like he was lounging in a Jacuzzi. "Because I'm mad at you. And I don't think you can be mad at me when I'm mad at you first. You have to wait your turn. Mama says you have to wait your turn, cuz everybody can't go at the same time."

"I'm not mad at you." I had to convince the little turd of this because otherwise he was going to sit in my b*a forever; I was worried I'd hurt him if I tried to pick him out myself. "I'm just mad at the world."

"At the whole wide world? That's a big place. Why are you mad at the whole world?"

"Because. Two people who I love a whole lot aren't here anymore." I couldn't say the word dead. I didn't want to believe it.

"Who are they?" he asked.

"Two of the most amazing, awesome, courageous, funny, sexy fae that ever walked on this planet." I was crying by the time I finished my description of both my best friend and my lover.

"Are you talkin' about my mommy and daddy? Because they're not dead. They're alive. Mommy is with my daddy and daddy is with my mommy."

"So I heard. I thought you were supposed to be with them. And by the way, I'm not talking about your daddy or your mommy. I don't think your daddy could die even if somebody wanted him to. And your mom is as tough as nails."

"My daddy's too smart to die and my mommy's too mean to die. And I

don't have to go with my mommy and daddy if I don't want to because I'm a spy now. I'm a ayygent. I can do what I want."

"I don't think your mommy would agree with that."

"Well, she told me to stay and spy on you, and that's what I did, and that's why I'm here, so there. I'm on the team! I'm on Team Lellemental!!" He executed a pretty awesome fist pump after his declaration. Maybe Tim was right; maybe he had grown up.

"Ooops. I just tooted," he said, giggling. "Ew. Now it stinks in your boobies. Let me out, out, out!" he yelled, climbing to the edge of my b*a and taking off into the air.

I ran after him because what else was I supposed to do? He was a nutty baby pixie fueled by delusions of grandeur, flying through the air like he was in his private garden and not in a big, bad world filled with demons and dark spirits. If anything happened to him, it would be my fault according to Tim and Abby, even though no jury would convict me. Secret agent, my a*s. He was a spoiled little turd who needed to be disciplined by his parents. We might've been living in a fae world full of secrets and magic, but I was pretty sure it was still rude in these circles to climb into a girl's b*a without her permission.

He flew ahead of me, giggling and shouting the entire way. He was jabbering nonsense, and even though I didn't catch most of what he was saying, I could tell he was very proud of himself. He was planning to tell his parents that he'd saved the day. And…well…maybe he had. I had been ready to take out the entire forest for a few seconds back there.

As I jogged along behind Willy, I thought about what had happened in the Gray. I angrily wiped tears from my face when they dared escape my eyes. The wyvern had told me to choose between two beautiful fae, and I had failed. I'd been too weak to sacrifice one for the other, even though they had made an agreement to give only one their combined life force. Waking up to an empty meadow and no Tony or Spike was proof that I wasn't capable of leading armies or being the savior of the world. I had fallen apart when things got tough, and my punishment was that I got neither one of my friends backMy heart ached painfully as I thought about never seeing them again. Maybe it was for the better, though. I didn't want to be angry at one of them because he'd survived while the other one hadn't. But my soul felt like it had a giant hole in it. My bed—the place where Spike and I always felt closest and whispered late into the nights about our life together and our hopes and dreams—would always be empty, and Tony would no longer be there to share his wise advice with me, to joke about our human lives with, to discuss all the ways being fae had changed us.

The fae community as a whole would be missing two seriously cool dudes, and it was all my fault. I should have made a choice. But even knowing that I should have done that, as I jogged to the compound following a silly baby pixie, I couldn't make the choice in my mind. Even though the time for making that choice had already passed and there was no longer any pressure on me, I couldn't pick Tony or Spike.

I tried to imagine someone else walking in my shoes: Becky, Scrum, or Finn, and I came to the conclusion that they probably wouldn't have been able to make the choice either. They liked Tony and Spike equally; they were both our friends. They'd both been there from the beginning, experiencing this new life right along with us, every step of the way. It was an impossible situation with no solution. f**k, the universe sure did love torturing me. It was like I was being punished for some cosmically, karmically awful thing I'd done, but I had no idea what that thing was.

We reached the doorway with the infinity symbol on it, and Willy hovered in front of it. "Open this up for me, Lellemental. I want to go see my mommy and daddy and report back."

I paused in front of the door with my arms folded across my chest. "What are you going to say to them?" I figured a little damage control might not be a bad idea. I had lost my temper back there, but in my defense, I hadn't known there was a baby pixie anywhere in the vicinity. I'd warned my friends to leave so no one would be hurt. If I could get Willy to leave that part out of his report, I'd be ahead of the game.

"I'm going to say that your boobies are squishy, and they're sweaty, and they smell funny, and I almost got rained on." He saluted, his body as stiff as a board for about three seconds before he started bumbling around in the air again like a pixie who'd ingested too much honey.

I pictured him announcing these facts in front of the entire Council. They'd think that while all of them were busy making plans to save the world, I was out exposing my bosoms to a child. Yeah…that'll look greeeaaat. "Excuse me, sir, but that's kind of rude."

"What's rude?" He frowned like he was seriously confused.

"Talking about my boobs like that." I wasn't proud of trying to shame a baby into silence, but I was desperate, and desperate times called for desperate measures.

He thought about that for a few seconds before responding. "Do you want me to lie?"

Damn. This baby pixie was way better at manipulation than I was. I felt like an amateur trying to play in the big leagues. I sagged a little as a long breath escaped me. "No. You should never lie."

"Soooo, you want me to tell the truth?"

"You should always tell the truth, I guess." I was sweating again, and it wasn't because of the jogging.

"Okay. Then I will tell them about your boobies and how they are squishy and smelly and sweaty."

I scrubbed at my face with my hands a few times, knowing that I was battling a serious case of fatigue and should probably have more patience with the little turd. "Okay, fine. Tell them whatever you want about my boobs, I don't care. But maybe you shouldn't tell them about the storm."

"Why not? It was really big. I could hear it." He waved his arms around, and rolled his head from side to side, making noises that were supposed to imitate the sounds of an elemental losing her s**t.