The immortal love story of Laila and Majnu

What is love?

People often talk about love, but most of us are not fully aware about its true essence. There is lot of misconception about efficacy of love that holds us back to generate loving feelings towards others.

Love is not possessiveness. People look love as a possession that has to be acquired and preserved. To expect that others ought to provide it to us so that our life is filled with love is the biggest fallacy, which is cause of much unhappiness. It is not like any other material thing to be demanded from others. Even if other person offers us plenty of love, we may not be able to feel it. It is normal to blame others for not loving us, but much depends on our inner self whether it has capability to feel it from others.

Love is a feeling of well being and of good emotions. It is an activity that keeps us in good spirit and is liked to our emotions. Let us engage and create feeling of love by making self capable through appropriate changes in our dealings with others. There is no other way to love and be loved. The physical intimacy devoid of good feelings is not love but lust. People often fail to conceive love as pious in essence. While dealing with others, let us take care that our dealings make them cheerful, by helping them to come out of their problem, appreciate their successes and be grateful for help received from them. All these activities are to express love. The benefit of giving love to others is that it appeals to our heart and makes us connected to others, provides stability and security, removes fear and gives a feeling of being good towards other people. One can get to know love by first generating such feelings of being good to others. How can a person feel love from others if he is filled with ego, anger and selfish tendencies? These negative emotions suppress inner urge to love others.

Love is a divine energy. I had a very vague idea about love initially. As I tried to understand more about it, a completely different perspective and thinking develops that explains the true essence of love. I have come to know from spiritual literature that love is God and God is love. It appears too abstract in the first instance, but more we tend to think of God will make us to love God and all other creations of God. It is like energy flowing within us derived from Ultimate that thinks positive and helps in inner purification. Albert Einstein discovered energy mass equation that explains interconnection of material and energy. It revolutionized the thinking of present century by using a small amount of mass to derive a tremendous energy. Hence, along with our material existence, somewhere we are also part of the divine energy lying within us as dormant. Logically, this divine energy which is nothing but love brings us close to Ultimate. I can imagine that every one of us has a great capacity of this divine love within us, but it is hidden, untapped and misdirected. Great saints have worked on human beings from time to time by developing intense feeling of love and concern for others. This has helped them to achieve higher levels of spiritual growth and closeness with the ultimate. The true meaning of love is inner purification of soul. This is the real purpose of love.

Love is nothing but inner need and the reason for feeling happiness. Fill the requirement of soul by being in love with other person. The other person to whom you love is only an object to be loved; it is our own emotions that create love for that person. People love someone if they feel that person is an object of love. This feeling comes out of inner need. This is the reason that when the object of love is same, but still different people react to it in a different manner. A person may become an object of love for someone but similar feelings may be missing in the heart of other person. The feeling of love resides in us; other person becomes only a facilitator to bring out this feeling. Irrespective of how good other person may be, love will have to originate from you to create that loving emotion. All other things follow thereafter. These emotions come when we feel need of love as against negative emotions of anger and hate.

The advantages of giving love to the other person are essentially to fulfill our inner need and to generate happiness. If we demand love from other person, we may not be able to feel it when our inner condition is filled with negative feelings. Love is an activity of thinking good about others, doing all that can be done to make others feel good and acting in a manner that other person feels comfortable. It is not something to be demanded as it cannot be preserved; and we cannot take it or feel it unless we make ourselves capable for it.

Everyone feels impact of love in their life. When you think good of other person, you are in same wavelength as your inner self (soul), which makes you feel light and joyful. Such feeling is love. It is not easy for a person to love someone as it takes time to understand and then develop liking of that person.

We imagine women in love as beautiful, sacrificing and never arguing. The media depicts love based on physical attraction. In actual life situation, things are different. Love does not mean that there will not be any differences and the other person will always remain dumb. It does not mean that a person not very handsome or beautiful will be less attractive and loving in nature. The attractiveness of a person is depicted from overall personality that is a combination of physical looks, positive attitude and confidence. The love stories as reflected in media and narrated by other persons do mostly narrate physical aspect of love. It does not emphasize on the emotional closeness and spiritual part of the love which is more subtle and enduring. Our perception of love is thus limited in nature.

Life is not always about happy or sad situation. It has its own moments of ups and down. How to adjust in each situation and take it in stride will greatly affect the quality of life and relationship with other people. The perception of love as being devoid of any problem, trouble and pain is thus misconception. People feel more and more pain as they are not able to live in love in relationship with other people. Our perception of love has to change. We have to live with all the problems that we face in unison, sort out our differences and make change in our life style to bring semblance of love and tolerance in our attitude. We have to meet the need of soul to develop spiritual love for other persons which goes beyond the physical attraction.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preserves”. (1 Corinthians 13:1)

Love is something wonderful.

Love decides everything in this world. It doesn‘t have any conditions or boundaries. We don’t know exactly what love is and where it comes from. But one thing is sure: we are nothing without love! There are times when we feel shy and timid, when we are afraid of expressing the love we feel. Being afraid of embarrassing the other person or ourselves we hesitate to say the actual words “I love you”. One can say “I love you” in many ways: by means of nice presents and little notes, smiles and sometimes tears.

Sometimes we show our love when we are quiet and do not say a word, at the other times – we speak loud to express it. Sometimes we show our love by impulsiveness. Many times we have to show our love when we forgive someone.

The problem with our world is that people don’t learn to listen to each other. They hear the words, but they don’t listen to the actions that accompany the words and do not mind the expression on the face.

We have to listen to see love in and around us.

If we listen attentively we will reveal that we are a lot more loved than we realize; we will find out that the world is a place full of love.

DEEP LOVE : “Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.”

Do you know what Love is? Of course all of you are familiar with it and also some of you have known it very well already. Then supposing that I change the question to how much have you known about the love? Can you distinguish between shallow love with impermanent enchantment and deep love abounding with energy? In this busy world, “Love is all around us” and Deep love is truly priceless thing for everyone. Several times, loves always support us. I’m not referring of loves in general but I mean to deep love that you receive and give it to others.

The first type is that In the case of inbound love, which is the love you receive from others, it gives you strength. Have you ever heard? Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, besides it is very marvelous things. You can feel like your body gets bigger twice and also everything about you will be fulfilled. Having somebody on your side or waiting for you all the time and being back of you. It gives you be more energetic, more power to keep going on constantly. Even how much the way you are going along will be shaking, deeply you feel confident that you won’t fall down. According to I mentioned, these don’t be regarded what he or she did for you. It’s numerous and quite unexpected. What a beautiful love as much as a person can be given. This is because of deep love, all things are possible.

And another type is that In the case of out-going love, this love you give to others, it gives you courage. If being deeply loved by someone provides you with the support, you need to be strong. In additional, you can compare it with float helping you when you are floating. Similarly this affection provides you with the reason; you need to be brave and courageous. The love will sustain you and can help you face any danger, deal with threatening situations and sustain yourself against impossible odds.

Intense feelings : In a soul-mate relationship, there is deep connection between the two individuals. A deep bond, that makes the relationship more special.

Transcendence of time and place : The feeling of being “at home” immediately when you met your partner.

Immediate connection : Intense feelings of connection, familiarity & rapport right upon meeting our partner can enhance soul-mate relationship. We get to know this when just being in the presence of the other person, elevates our mood & relaxes us.

It ain’t necessary that a soul mate has to be a romantic partner—it can be a platonic friend as well. Similar to romantic soul mates, they require time & effort to be strong.

Love is a quality that defines human beings. Love is a quality of the human heart. It is a feeling that the human species can express. It is love that brings and keeps people together in harmony and happiness. Parents love their children. In a family the members love each other. We love our relatives and friends. We love our country. love God, and show this love by loving all creatures created by the supreme God. Love encompasses affection, respect, gratitude, and joy. Love can be expressed in many different ways such as through one’s deeds, words and thoughts.

Love of God is the highest expression of love. Divine love translates into love of all. Love is expressed by human beings for each other. Parents love their children. Next to God there is none other like father or like mother, it is said. Parents love their children without any expectation.

They care for their children in every way at all times. They sacrifice their comforts for their children’s happiness and welfare. Children also love their parents. Love can also be expressed in small acts. By being respectful, grateful and helpful to our parents we show our love for them.

Romantic love, in a personal sense, is an intense and uncontrollable emotion that not only defined as a sense of happiness but it is also defined as pain, fear and every other emotion but intensified. Romantic love is also defined by the experiences and feelings people may gain from one another. The term romantic love holds such a heavyweight for some people, while with others it’s pushed to the back of their mind. If love holds such an overall power, why is it that each person can define it as something different. Many people may look at romantic love in a superficial or materialistic way while others see it in a more simplified sense. The world tends to create an overall view of love as rainbows and happiness but love also includes all the pain, anger and heartbreak that someone can bring you. I think that if more people realized that love isn’t only euphoric but everything in between the approach and context that people see love it would change drastically. It is more likely that people will start to see it in a more realistic way instead of the social produced version of romantic love.

I tend to see love like a coin. One side is everything great, the happy memories, the passion and the sense of comfort. The other side is the side of pain, fear, and anger but it is still holding the same amount of passion as the ‘happy side’. To truly define love, you have to acknowledge that in the worst of moments the passion that love brings is still there just in a different state. Not many people bring up the fact that love is screaming at one another until your lungs hurt or crying to your friends about how much you hate that you love the person that hurts you the most. If you didn’t love the person then why does it hurt so bad when they leave or when you fight, if you didn’t love the person then why do you get so angry by their action. Love can bring any emotion to the surface of your mindset and intensify it.

Love is one of those ideas that people always connect with a happy point in their life or a point they want to get to. People tend to fantasize about what love can bring them, in the article ‘Regulation of Romantic Love’, Sandra J. E. Langeslag and Jan W. van Strien speak on how “Romantic love has positive effects on individuals and society as a whole. For example, love is associated with positive emotions such as euphoria and romantic relationships enhance happiness and life satisfaction” (Langeslag & Strien). They speak on how because love has these positive connotations people strive for the emotion to feel better within their lives. Langeslag and Strien also support the idea that love tends to come with negative points too such as stress, jealousy and sometimes shame and that those emotions are just as intense. Langeslag and Strien further speak to the fact that many people think that love is uncontrollable and that you can’t change the way you feel while in this state of emotion. Within the article, they decided to test how people saw love and see if people’s point that love is uncontrollable supported their actions. After having multiple participants fill out a questionnaire the questions pertaining to controllability came back that the participant didn’t feel in control when it came to love or infatuation but did feel in control when it came to attachment. From reading this it just solidifies the thought that love is uncontrollable and that even though you can make yourself become less attached the emotion of love is still there and is still intense.

Love is something that is so sought after in society that people forget the big picture of it all. While researching what people labeled as love many saw it as something different than what I thought many would say. I saw that people tend the label love as very materialistic, superficial or action based. Many people had described someone buying them roses or jewelry and said that’s what love is or they would describe someone constantly giving them affection and say that's what love is. People also stated how when people just ‘look good together’ than they must be in love. In the article ‘Can’t Buy Me Love’ Mario Mikulincer and Phillip R. Shaver brought to light a point that was made by two other Psychologist Zhou and Gao that money is a part of love and that “money can make a person more attractive to others, increasing access to potential romantic partners, and increase the likelihood of social approval and respect”. Zhou and Gao saw love in the manner that I described earlier and was bringing up that nowadays people are finding their version of love through a physical and material attraction. Although in my opinion people may obtain a strong sense of lust, I don’t believe love is material. I think that this view came with the new social norms of people wanting to have something to post and prove to not only themselves but also others that their partner is the best and that their love is overwhelming.

Although this view is very popular its known to many that love can’t be bought. Money can make a more favorable environment for love but you can’t achieve an overwhelming passion for money. In the article ‘Can’t Buy Me Love’ by Mario Mikulincer and Phillip R. Shaver they have the view that money may replace love or buy love temporarily but isn’t something to rely on: “We suspect that, although money may substitute for or purchase love in some circumstances, long run it may not fully replace the primary need for love, support, and comfort from other people”. Mikulincer and Shaver argue the point made by two other Psychologists Zhou and Gao that money can replace social support and deviate the stress and pain that comes with natural emotions like love. The point that Mikulince and Shaver are trying to convey is that “the fragility of avoidant defenses and indirectly imply that strategies aimed at replacing love and support may collapse under circumstances. It is under these circumstances that the availability, sensitivity, and responsiveness of loving others become critical for soothing oneself and maintaining or restoring emotional equanimity”.

While the world is trying to achieve this sense of perfect true love and relationships, they lose the fact that true romantic love should have pain and struggle to it. Love isn’t simple so why make the view of it seem so simple. Why force the idea that love should be confined to one side of the emotional spectrum. Love is supposed to make a person grow, it’s supposed to challenge a person to nearly a defeat a point where they feel their lowest, love is what makes a person human. The pain that comes with love is undeniable and inevitable so why do people so often not associate pain with love. True romantic love is intended to be hard and it’s meant to make you sacrifice and make you do things you typically would never do.

All things considered, romantic love is something that is so uncontrollable and cannot be confined to one set of emotions. Romantic love is something that may be obtained by people and can be seen as either happiness or pain but will still hold passion no matter which it is seen as. Love is a challenge that needs someone to step in as a challenger who is ready for the intensity of it. The world cannot label love as simply euphoric and anymore it needs to be defined as a mix over overwhelming hurt that brings comfort and is able to heal and destroy a person at the same time. Love is defined by every range of emotion.