Mallika: Self-delusion and chocolate
1979
That evening, after the talk with my mothers and grandmother, I went for a walk.
I understood that they wanted to spare me grief. But what was I supposed to tell them? That yes, while it was true that neither Randhir nor Arnav wanted to marry me, it was also true that I could never ever feel for any man what I felt for them? What was I supposed to do? Tear open my heart and say, ‘Begone with you,’ and out they’d run, and I’d be done?
I was also trying to come to terms with the fact that Arnav knew about my father. He wasn’t a fool – by now, he’d have seen through the story of Ma’s ‘widowhood’ and come to the obvious conclusion.
I was pulled out of my thoughts by a terrible sound. It was something between a baying and a bellowing, coming rele
