Arnav: Wishing it
August 1980
She was whispering his name, asking him to wake up. He didn’t want to. He wanted to stay in bed with her. She was next to him, but he couldn’t see her because his eyes wouldn’t open. He couldn’t put his arms around her because they wouldn’t move. He wanted to say her name, but it was stuck in his throat.
She was kneeling by his bed, looking at him. Her eyes were full of sadness. What was she doing outside his bed?
His sleep vanished.
Mallika?
In his room?
In the bathroom, two minutes later, he leaned against the door, trying to breathe. He looked at his watch. It was five-ten a.m.
All the pranayama he’d done since that time hadn’t prepared him for this moment. He tried to breathe slowly and deeply. He tried to count every breath. He knew why she was
