At his will

Growing on me

Raymond POV :

This past couple of days have been horrible, I'm trying to have high hopes that things will work out but it seems to be getting serious between her and this Tyson guy, and he's making it his duty to look over her, maybe he loves her, maybe she loves him! I shake my head and scowl at myself for even believing that Alicia would be unfaithful, that's not possible it must have an explanation so stop thinking nonsense, I continue my self scolding.

I have a message in the Lounge so I head there in anticipation that Lici has left me a message. By the time I get there, Ayn-Marie informs me that it's now two messages; I would rather take these messages without her here because she always makes me uncomfortable.  She doesn't do anything in particular but she's always there when I turn in any direction. However, she is very efficient so it's always a benefit to have her nearby.  I press play on the first message it's my dad asking how I'm going and informing me that my dog Terror has passed, he says that he went to check on my place and take a new toy for him and found him chained to his kennel and dead, and no housekeeper in sight. He adds that he eventually found my housekeeper and fired her and that a new one that Miss Shelly recommended will be there tomorrow under her supervision. Miss Shelly has been our housekeeper my whole life, in fact, they hired her when my mother was pregnant to help her around the house.  I love Miss Shelly like my own mother, she's a darling, caring woman and I trust her judgment.

My mood has gotten worse on the news of Terror, he was a great friend and it's awful to think that he suffered because I wasn't there for him.  I feel like crying then I remember where I am, I take a few deep breaths and press play on the second message, maybe my father forgot to tell me that the housekeeper stole my Ferrari too.

"Yo doc, I would appreciate it if you come home a bit late today, I got something special planned and I can't have you ruining it like the last time.  Anyway, I'm out, later" I am going to kill this man, I run to the car park and speed home to see this deceiving woman.

I contemplate the mess I'll get myself into if I hurt him and that may just be what she is waiting on to leave me, I'm not going to let him win her from me. I dial the number to Touchè Duiź a spa I've been to a couple of times with Christian I'll take her for a spa day, maybe she's just stressed. I call her and she seems happy to hear from me; and she seems home I shake the thought that I expected her to be somewhere else out of my head. "Get dressed" she seems excited enough and it makes me excited in return.

When I get to the lobby the Host shouts my name to give me a package that was left for me. I take it upset that he keeps me away from getting to my room even if just for a few extra seconds. When I waiting on the elevator I look at the package to calm my nerves about what I may find in my room, or maybe who.  The package has no return information, I sigh and still tear it open. Its pictures.

I pull a few out and my heart falls to the floor when I see Alicia in her underwear bending over by a pool with a man approaching her. Another with her having drinks with him and her feet in his hands.  Another with them smiling and him feeding her. The elevator door opens and I unconsciously walk in, I look through a few and I get even more distraught when I notice the dates on the photos. This woman is unbelievable, really a devil in the package of an angel!

Alicia's POV:

I start my car and drive to the hospital Ray works at.  It would definitely be the first choice if Ray has his way.  I get there pretty quickly, no thanks to the million red lights and slow drivers I had to navigate.   I enter the white halls and it seems busier than usual.   I see grump 'a lot' the nurse, who I found out name was Ayn-Marie and she's upset; as I approach her she points to her left "He's in room 607" I walk past her and look anxiously at the room numbers, I practically run when I spot Ray's room.  "Ray! What happened?  Are you okay? " I say as the tears well up.

"I'm fine baby, come here" and he pats the space beside him.  I walk over and lean in to hug him, he finches and for the first time, I notice the bandages on his arm under his gown. "What happened baby" I'm having a much easier time talking to Ray and being loving with him since everything came out in the open.  "What happened is that I went to eject that aśşhole from our lives, is he still alive? "

"Yes! .... what do you mean is he still alive, what the hell happened between you two?"

"Are you sure? Last time I saw him he was passed out;  they pulled me away from strangling him to death, hump!" And he sounds disappointed;  Ray is actually angry that he didn't kill Tyson,  who is this person?  Is this the man I married? 

"Have you eaten? I'm going to get coffee" I get up before he can answer and leave.  My thoughts are racing about the psycho I married and I hear my name, "Alicia, Alicia" I turn and see its Tyson in room 622 "what do you want?" I spit. "Haven't you done enough damage?"

"By the way, I fine, thanks for asking; how are you?  Were you looking for me?" He says hopefully,  I feel bad that I didn’t even ask if he was well and I just attacked him.

"I'm sorry, I hope you're okay, do you need anything?" I ask remorseful.  He starts crawling out of bed flinching at every move, "I just want you to forgive me, give ME one more chance to make it up to you, please Alicia!"

He reaches to hug me and I pull away, "I'm sorry," I say and turn to leave because the boiling feeling in my stomach to reach out to him is steering me wrong and my mind knows that it's just not worth it!

I leave Tysons room and I'm crying hysterically, I wipe away tears that just gets replaced with more tears, why am I acting this way? I don't love him! Do I? I lean on the wall outside of his room and I just give in, I run into his room and throw my hands around his neck, he's still standing where I left him and he's wearing his heart is on his face, it's 'broken'. He hugs me back and I feel better.

I pull away and apologize for not asking about his condition, he accepts my apology and I say goodbye, he tries to hug me again and I stop him, I begin to plead my case to him, "I plan to make things work with my husband and I'd appreciate it if you forget anything that we had, it just.... It just can't work between us".

He immediately gets angry and raises his voice a few octaves, "So it's like that! He apologizes and you go running back to him, you know you will NEVER be happy with him right; you know you only love ME, Alicia, me alone! He will never be faithful and he will never appreciate all that you are!.... I can't win can I? Ok. I'll be here when you're ready, and I'm sure that you will have to come back to me when he's done with his shiny new trophy" he rants on and on.

"I.... I just can't with you right now, why would you say those things? Is that what you wish for me!? Do you want my marriage to fail?"

"Yes!" He answers without hesitation.

"Well, it will work if you don't interfere and furth..ar" he cuts me off when he grabs me into a hug and whispers into my ear, "just think about it ok? our love is worth it" I genuinely feel bad for the man holding me, does he love me and I'm tearing him apart? I don't pull away but I don't hug him back.

He releases me and I say my goodbyes. He just lets me go, no opposition! For a moment I'm hurt by this.

I walk into Ray's room and see him sitting facing the window with his back turned to me, I sit on the bed behind him and I don't know what to say to him after what just happened. Guilt is consuming me.

"Are you ready to go?" he says dryly. I furrow my brows in confusion and turn around to ask.

"Have you been discharged already? How come" my eyes widen because his response shocked me.

"I discharged myself, I have to get my wife home" he mumbles sounding discontent.

"What do you mean home, the hotel, my home, or.... yours?" It occurred to me before our marriage that we would settle at his Penthouse, I wasn't comfortable with the idea but I was also too scared to discuss house options with my then-fiance. It would've made the relationship too real.

"Ours" his clipped response still had me confused. Why won't he talk to me?

"Ours? Do you mean your home? The Penthouse?" I ask again, trying to gain clarity, a bit frustrated at this point.

"A man doesn't get married and put his wife in an apartment, I bought us a home in Princes Estates, the Winfreys sold because they were retiring to France, I think you would like it." I gasp and my stomach is twisting in knots, I've always wanted to buy a home there.  He bought us a home, there? He is too perfect, there has to be something wrong with him. Is this man for real? He has to be a liar, why would he do that?

"You bought 'us' a home? That must have cost you a fortune" I get up and walk around to face him.

"It was worth it, it was for my family," he says discontented.  The reaction has me reeling because he looked like he has lost his fire for life, for me.

"And now?" I ask, not looking forward to the answer. I couldn't bear it if he rejected me. If he didn't love me anymore.

"And now what?" His hint of annoyance, makes me hesitate to continue.

"You said it 'was' for your family, who's it for now, or are you going to re-sell" The timid way my voice sounds to my ears made me want to put a hand over my lips and cover my mouth. I didn't want to be weak.

He walks around the bed and is now facing me.  His hands crossed over his chest. "Why would I sell our home? Or don't you plan on being with me?" He's looking me straight in the eye and you can tell its mock confidence. He's clearly not sure or confident in what my answer will be.

"I... I.... don't know what you want, but I do know that I want to try to make us work" my response was met with no reaction and for a second I wondered if he heard me.

He laughs at a private joke and I'm ashamed again, feeling exposed as if he knew what I had just done with Tyson, hugging him. I bow my head unable to continue to face him.  He uses his thumb and index finger to lift my face again to face him "I really hope that you are telling me the truth woman, I have little tolerance for liars."

I step back. Not scared but caught off-guard by his no-nonsense statement. Knowing I was the said 'liar' he was referring to.

"No Alicia I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that" he was quick to apologize, reading my thoughts wrong. Then added "I will never... lay hands on you again.  I should never have before" he remorse is genuine and although I would never allow him to it's a little comforting knowing that he's carrying around guilt.

I lean in and whisper in his ear as if someone is in the room with us, "so how will you make love to me without touching me?"  The gesture was meant to lighten the mood and it thankfully had the desired effect.

"There are ways my love" he grins, "Now let's go pack; I have had more than enough of this island". We were meant to spend three weeks here initially for our honeymoon.  Then Raymond agreed to help out at the hospital, there was no particular time frame attached to the assistance but one night he did tell me that he expected to stay at least three months because there was so much to do. I didn't mind, staying on a beautiful island, the only thing I realized I had going for me at home was my job, which I could do remotely and of course Rachel, my best friend.  It was pathetic that I literally could pick my life up and not be missed.

Soon enough we're checked out and leave.

We walk to the car park and get in my jeep, he's staring at me and smiling and I'm feeling nervous. There is a genuine shift in the mood and I am appreciative of this.  He puts his hand on my thigh and we drive to the hotel quietly although I'm tempted to ask where his car is. I decide not to damper the mood.

After a few moments in the suite, I walk into the closet where he is, he is packing and I get the urge to run my hands over his perfect body. I wonder how he would take it, and then I wonder why I would even have to wonder this about my husband. I decide that I am overthinking it and I go in to touch him.