At his will

Confessions

Raymond POV:

The past few days have been unbelievably great, she has been open, verbal, interested in me! Despite the fact that I saw her with another man a couple of days ago when she disappeared on me, arriving at the hotel; I am not worried, im going to make her happy to be my wife! I called every person I know that has been to this island to get recommendations on a restaurant and they all said here, I had to call in a major favor to get reservations so I hope she likes it. I plan to take it to another level of intimacy; a nice quiet dinner where we can talk will be a great step in our future.

Alicia POV :

Raymond took me to dinner at a ‘self’ proclaimed best restaurant on the island.  After ordering from our strangely friendly and pretty waiter; Raymond held my hand across the table and played with my fingers, “can I tell you something?”

“sure honey” I said smiling.

“I met you before your mother introduced us”

“What?” I asked shocked, when did we meet? I surely would remember that. won't I?

“Once, at the hospital when you brought in that accident victim, Mr. Rhodes, with the cracked skull.  In the midst of all the drama I remember thinking; wow, what a beautiful woman and your concern for a total stranger was… inspiring”.

“I cannot remember you from that night; I was so worried I couldn’t even think” I answered truthfully, then thought afterward that I may have hurt his feelings.

“I could see the worry in your eyes, but they still glittered.  When Julia told me she had a beautiful, brilliant daughter, I was happy but when I saw it was you, I was ecstatic; I couldn’t believe that I had the opportunity of a lifetime in the palm of my hands, So... that’s my confession”.

“Aren’t confessions supposed to be bad?” I asked and wondered if the fact that I was flattered was obvious.

“Not every time, some can be informative”. He mocked.

“I see that” I said.  I was quickly warming up to Ray, I started feeling a bit comfortable and relaxed, I could let my guard down a bit.  After appetizers we ordered dinner and I excused myself to go to the wash room.  “Wow your stunning” that voice stopped me in my tracks.  It was Tyson, my mind raced while my body froze; I quickly realized that I was still in Raymond’s scope of view so I continued walking toward the restroom.  I saw Tyson walking behind me and I quickly entered the restroom to avoid him, what was he doing here? “Alicia?”

“Yes”

“Can I talk to you for a minute, please?”

“No, Tyson please leave me alone”,

“Alicia just one minute please, I won’t bother you again”

“I shouldn’t please” I pleaded; two ladies left the restroom giggling at what I assume to be us.

“Ok, call me please; please I just have one thing to tell you”

A tear came running down my cheek; truth is I couldn’t stop thinking about him and I didn’t know why.

I went back to my seat nervous and sad, Raymond could definitely feel the difference.  The rest of the evening went; well I really don’t know how it went my mind was in Timbuktu. I had just enough brain function for me to be able to eat, sit up and walk; I wonder if I slobbered on myself.

I heard his voice again! I snapped back to reality, “Ty..” I stopped when I saw that Ray was the only person in front of me, what was happening to me? Did Ray hear the name I uttered? Would he be able to put together my strange behavior.

“Baby are you ok?”

Oh my gosh he knows “I am.., why?” I played it off.

“I’m going to ask you a question and I want you to be totally honest with me” Oh my here it comes; I'm busted!

Wow, would I be able to tell him; this man that loves me despite my rudeness and infidelity; this man that gave his life up on hopes that I will make the perfect partner for him.  I couldn’t.  I couldn’t hurt him, I couldn’t disappoint my mother, I couldn’t show my father that all the values that he tried instilling in me; would be given up in a heartbeat to a man that made my body tremble… was I ready, was I willing..

“Alicia, I’ve had quite a few ladies in my life vying for my love or status or whatever their motive was; some I’ve loved some I’ve tolerated; my point is faith brought me here and brought you to me, and I feel like the luckiest man in the world, you stole my heart and I don’t want it back, but I don’t want….. well I want to make sure that you feel the same; its ok if you don’t, forcing you is the last thing I want to do; so my question is, did you feel pressured in any way to marry me, by Julia or myself, and do you love me and is there anything that I did that hurt or offended you in any way..?”

“whoa, one question at a time please” I feel so flabbergasted.

I thought about it for a brief moment but his face seemed as if he was turning blue from holding his breath, then I replied, “yes, it did have a certain pressure for me to get married from my mother, but she would have pressured me with anyone; so don’t worry about it and no you never hurt me in anyway, in fact you were too nice to me I don’t believe that I deserve you.”

A smile lit in his eye but his face was still showing only hurt.

“I asked you if loved me Alicia.”

“Oh Ray, honestly, I don’t know how I feel; I’ve never felt this way toward anyone, its special but the way you express your love for me it makes me feel insecure sometimes, like how I feel is not enough, like it doesn’t match up and I’m doing something wrong”.

“No baby don’t talk like that, I know you were raised differently and I understand that it would take a while for you to get settled, I will do my utmost best to help you through this in any way I can and if ever you feel like we’re moving too fast just let me know”.

I couldn’t comprehend the transition that just happened; I went from bad guy to victim in a split second; Raymond is a very peculiar man.

We skipped dessert, he paid the bill, and we left in a brand new black, gold and chrome Infiniti EMERG-E that he recently started driving, I never asked him about that car, I wondered how uninterested I may have seemed to him in the past months.  I held his hand for a moment and we drove home in silence.

I decided I wasn’t being fair to Ray so I slipped out of the shower and into some lingerie.

“You like?” I asked in the most flirty tone I could muster.

“Me love” he said blushing.  I too was blushing at his approval of my body. He has never seen me naked before.  He got out of bed walked over to me and held my waist and squeezed while kissing me deeply.  His hands caressed my back and mine his.  It was happening.