At his will

Am I wrong

Alicia POV:

I sat there for hours just thinking, when actually it turned out to be about twenty-two minutes. I was torn in my mind not actually thinking of anything but yet thinking of everything but not actually getting to a conclusion, i was lost.

I willed myself to get back to reality, just leave, i said out loud; just leave Raymond, just leave this country, just leave.

I couldn't live as a trophy wife for a man of many mistresses, I wasn't born for that. I know I've never had s*x with him and maybe it's my fault he feels the need to go out and find companionship but he said he loves me so s*x shouldn't be a priority, then again he is a man.

I shake my head to get out of the daze but i guess it was a bit too hard because now i had a headache. I drove back to the hotel determined to pack up my stuff and leave; at the same time wishing i could wake up from this bad dream.

I stood at the room door nervous, not ready to go in, not ready to face my life. "Alicia" i heard a familiar masculine voice say from down the hall. The voice is sexy yet strong and commanding. I close my eyes in a desperate attempt to wish away Tyson from this hallway but when i reopen them he is still here; matter of fact he is centimeters from me, looking down at me with hopeful eyes, he is so close, i can feel his hot breath on me, i can smell his cologne and his body wash complementing each other perfectly and making him smell deliciously sexy. My knees momentarily get weak and i stumble, i bump into him then back into the large teak doors that leads to our suite. He wraps his arms around my waist, i guess in an attempt to stabilize me but it does so much more, it sends lightening through my body all heading and stopping in my vağiná, my knees buckle again, without warning; it's getting really embarrassing now as he is at this moment the only thing keeping me off the ground and he knows it.

He leans me up against the door his grip still firm around my waist, he dips his head in the croak of my neck and just breathes on it, not kissing me but still driving me insane. I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him in forcing his lips on my skin. I feel a sense of heat then relief then moisture.

He takes his left hand and grabs my thigh and lifts me up so I'm now pelvis to pelvis with him. I wrap my other leg around his waist and kiss him on the mouth, deeply, he kisses me back just as deeply and I can feel him growing and getting stiff below his jeans. Just the thought of him excited about making love to me makes me grind on him, He reaches for the door handles and pushes the door open.

He walks into the suite with me straddling him and for the first time i wonder if Raymond could be at home. I stop abruptly, jump off of him and look around the suite in search of my husband.

He grabs my arm, pulls me in and we're in a deep locked kiss again. I hold his face in my hands and look in his eyes and i can honestly say that there is nothing I want more at this moment than this man inside of me!

He unzips my dress slowly not releasing my lips and lays his hands on my ass and firmly grabs a hold of each cheek. I push him backward until he falls back on the sofa and i look lustfully at him while helping the dress straps fall off my shoulders. I let the dress fall to my hips then aid it in falling to the ground, i slowly step out of it and take the two steps towards him in as sexy a walk as i could muster. The look on his face says that he is pleased with what he is seeing and I'm pleased to be the object of his affection.

I straddle him and he quickly reaches for my bra, he undoes the clip and removes the bra exposing my plump breast. He grins and sucks on my rights n****e, gently licking it while caressing the other. I gyrate on his pelvis and place my hands on his back underneath his fitted black t-shirt, oh my this man is sexy. I raise slightly to get access to his belt, undo it, unbutton his jeans and he raises off the sofa with me in one swoop taking me by surprise. He looks around the room though i'm not sure what he is searching for and heads to the bedroom.

He lays me on the ivory silk sheets and runs his hands from my lips to my ankles, he places kisses on my ankles, leading up to my toes and stops at my toes and sucks on it. I have seen this in movies before and never thought it was something i would participate in but the feelings that ran through my body when he put my toes in his lips made me shiver in ecstasy, i felt like i was having an involuntary orgasm. He smiled and ran kisses from my ankles up my feet to my inner thighs, he placed a kiss on my underwear clad puśşy and moved up to my navel. I place my hand on his shoulders urging him to raise up and pleasure me, instead he stops.

He raises off of me and pulls me up to stand next to him at the side of the overly large King size bed. "Alicia, i'm.... i'm.. sorry but i can't do this"

"What do you mean, you can't do this?" i say almost out of breath. My head is racing from the whiplash of what just took place. Is he serious right now?

"I... I.. the feelings i have for you.." he seems confused and can't get his words right. "I want you, you are not the problem, trust me; I just... can't do this here, in the bed you share with 'him', I.." I open my mouth to protest but he places a finger on my lips to shush me. "meet me at my place tonight" and with that he kisses me long and hard.

He turns and practically run out of the room, grabs his t-shirt from off the floor and is out the door before i can fully process what just took place.

I lay down on my stomach in my baby pink lace underwear, thinking of this insatiable feeling surrounding me.  Was i wrong?  Was i wrong to want someone besides my cheating husband?  Was I wrong to want to  be genuinely loved? I dont think I'm wrong.

I got up to take a shower and hear the door to the suite open, I roll my eyes at the thought of him coming back from seeing one of his whores.  "Babe, you there?" He shouts from the living area,  I don't want to answer but i do anyway.  "Yeah I'm here" I continue walking to the bathroom and step in the shower.  I turn the heat on to a scorching level and just stand underneath it.  I daze off into nothingness, I seem to be doing that a lot lately.

He places fingers on the small of my back and runs his hands around my waist to the top of my v****a and all the want i have for him comes rushing back. Why does this man make me so weak? I'm pulled out of my dream world with Tyson when i hear Raymond say "why the hell is this water so hot!"

I look down to see that it was his hands caressing me and not Ty's. I frown but i dont move his hand, although I want to.  "What do you want Ray?" I say with as much scorn as I can muster. "Right now i just want this heat turned down, this is crazy" he laughs "then.. i want to share a bath with my beautiful wife" he grins while leaning in to kiss me.  I move my head away and step back, does this man not have guilt;  I question in my head.

"Ray, don't!"  I almost shout, i push him aside and attempt to leave the shower. He holds my right wrist and my waist simultaneously and pulls me in, I almost fall. "What the hell?" This time i do shout. "For f***s sake leave me alone you dirty cheater" I yank my hand away and open the slides. I storm into the bedroom and I'm furious, is he drunk? Why does he want me me now, has his bitćhëš forsaken him?

"Lici baby, what the hell? What's wrong?  Did I do something?  Did I forget something? " he questions now standing just a few feet behind me. I open my mouth to ask where has he been in the last couple of days but I'm so angry I can't speak. "No, everything is fine, just leave me alone" I manage and wrap a robe around my body and a towel around my hair and head to the balcony.

I sit and dwell on how lovely the sun feels on my skin and soon after I feel Ray gently shaking me, I wake not knowing that I was even sleeping and blink rapidly at him adjusting my eyes to the overly bright sunlight.  "Babe, I gotta go to work soon and I don't want to leave you upset, so please, please tell me what's bothering you"  his sincerity takes me off guard and my eyes are suddenly rimming with tears.  "I... I can't be your trophy wife Ray, I can’t sit by, while you be with countless other women and expect me to turn a blind eye; I can't be with someone who lies to me, because one minute you say you love me and i feel guilty because I don't feel the same, next minute your running up and down at all hours of the night sleeping with your exotic whores!" And just as aggressive as my rambling was so were my tears.

He looked stunned, with a lot of hurt present on his face also. "You... you.. don't love me!?" It wasn't so much of a question but rather a statement and how with everything that i just said he dwells on that!  "I.. I mean, I... I knew that you didn't feel as strongly as I do but it's different hearing it out loud" he says with pain..... a lot of pain, in his voice.

"Where were you last night?" I quiz ignoring the look of despair on his face. "Where else would I be Lici?" He uses his new found nickname for me with ease, and I wonder if one of his women is named Lici or Lisa and he just wants to make it easy for himself.

"Argh! Don't just don't Raymond, in case you haven't noticed, I'm not stupid! I didn't fall off a tree! nor was I born yesterday,  I" I'm cut off before I can finish my rant.  "Hey, hey what's with all the one liners?" He raises his hands up in defence.

"I was at the hospital babe, doing emergency surgery,  i still don't know what you are upset about, just please tell me so we can talk about it"

"You are acting strangely" I simply say.

"That's what this is about? oh my gosh" he heartily laughs.   "Are you worried that I'm cheating?" Good thing he's a doctor so he's considered smart because he almost missed the entire issue.  "I want you to come down to the hospital today, I'll show you the surgery check-in sheets, it's no problem at all, I don't want to have mistrust in this relationship and I definitely don't want you thinking that I will ever... ever! cheat on my blessing. I guess you don't understand what you mean to me.