At his will

Never will I ever

Blood!

Blood!

and more blood!

It was all over the place, on the floors, on the furniture, on Raymond.

"Alicia! Oh f**k! It's not what it looks like" his hand is held out to me pleading his case. A look of desperation across his features. His gloved hand moved slowly; too slowly, as my mind raced I looked at his glove carefully, it was no ordinary glove. There were spikes sticking out at every knuckle, bloody spikes...

I take a step back, then another, my back hits against something, the door frame? "Wait Alicia please, I can explain!" The tears burn my eyes and cloud my vision, pouring freely. I'm still staring at him when i hear my name whispered lowly and painfully.....

"Ali..cia.. " huffing followed, then.. "help me"

That voice!

Tyson?!

It can't be, It just can't. Have you ever felt like you stepped out of your body and you're looking at the world, at yourself, from a mirror? that's exactly what is going on with me.

Slowly my feet takes me to the man tied up in the chair, as I peered around him to confirm my suspicion my breath hitched and the world turned black...

"Lici, please wake up, let me explain, I'm so fuckking sorry you had to see that" I hear him in the blackness but he's just a distant voice, an echo afar.

I'm hoping it's all a dream, some twisted reality I created to block out what I really saw, Raymond cheating; but it's not it's worse. It's the worst possible scenario I could've ever imagined.

I blink awake and he's here, he's in the same clothes I remember, the same bloody clothes. I scream out, I don't really know why but it hurt, I felt as if I was actually in physical pain. I crawl back, I need to get away from him, he's worse than I ever imagined, "Alicia it's ok I'll never hurt you, don't be afraid it's not what you think; shh shh... it's ok baby" he's got me pinned against the wall, I can't crawl back any further but I need to get away. He reaches for me and I flinch, his hands burn my skin. "D....don't touch me" I manage to stutter out. He pulls back as if I've burned him. He looks hurt and I wish that he would just leave. I shouldn't have come here. I should have stayed home and been naive; be the loving wife who doesn't spy on her husband and follow him around and walk in on him bludgeoning her would be lover to death. A normal wife would shop for Cashmere sweaters and scarfs and shoes! Lots and lots of shoes!

"Hey hey, are you ok? Can I take you to lie down please, do you need some water?"

I scream!

I don't know why but I scream!

The loudest scream I've ever heard in my life and judging by the way his face is contorted, it's safe to say it's the loudest scream he's ever heard too! And he tortures people for a living!?

"Let me go Ray please, I won't tell anyone, just let me go and don't hurt me.. plea...se" my voice breaks as I start to sob. He pulls me into him, against his hard, chiseled chest. I curse myself for feeling comfort in him because I do.

I grab a handful of his shirt and I just cry. I cry from pain, I cry from regret, I cry from the realization that my life is cut short and I didn't get to do a lot of things I wanted. I always wanted to paraglide, to fly high above the mountains and plains. I've always wanted to sail my family's yacht on my own, just head to the open seas maybe with a lover. Now it's all over, I'm at my life's end and I'm using the last moments to regret all my failings.

I feel my weight being pulled down by gravity; he lifted me I'm guessing but I'm way to busy crying to take a peek. Well here it comes, I'm going to die. I'm going to die because my mother had to interfere with my life. I was perfectly fine before, I would have never picked Raymond as a husband. Sure he's handsome and rich and successful and kind and sexy, sigh face it, you would of been caught in his web of deceit just like your mother was.

Snuggled so close to him is regrettably pleasurable and I'm drifting off to sleep, might as well so he can kill me in my sleep and get it over with, right?

I'm laid on marshmallows, well not real marshmallows but this bed can give the overly sweet snack a run for its money. Raymond gets in the bed and eases his body into me, I let him. Yes shameful I know, but at this moment it's the only thing I could think that I want. Him.

"I love you Alicia and I'll never hurt you, believe that. I swear on my future children that I'll never let any harm come to you. I'll die first. I'll die a million painful deaths before I let him hurt you. I wish you would believe me, I know this situation looks fu×ked up and I know you probably don't want to hear anything I have to say but just don't leave me please. Give me one chance to explain everything; just one chance baby, I'm begging you" it does sound like he is begging, I believe him for some strange reason. You know you're already being a traitor why stop now? I scowl at my conscience because I know she's right and I have no other lie to convince her or myself otherwise.

My eyes are still closed, I never opened them or said a word to him this whole time. What can I say, 'I'm not angry, somehow I believe you' I'll be more crazy than he is.

That's a man tied up in another room. And entire man, two arms, legs, eyes and other body parts that come in pairs. A living breathing man. A man that I cared about, a man that cares for me.

"Are you going to go for my father next?" The words are out of my mouth before I get a chance to process and stop myself. "Then maybe my son?" I add. This person speaking sounds so foreign I don't recognize the voice but I know it's me because my lips are moving and the thoughts spoken are running through my head.

"Anybody who dares to love me will be killed, is that it!" I shout the last part as I'm feeling the anger seeping into me slowly but surely.

"Shhh... please don't overreact, it's ok, it's ok...." he coos to me like I'm a baby, "I said I won't hurt you, in any way, I swear I won't; he didn't care about you; he didn't love you" I can hear the anger laced beneath his words. Why though? I think that he should be happy about that.

We just lay there, in silence.

I wake up and he's still in bed with me, wrapped up as we were last night, before all this craziness. I look at him but he's different from when I fell asleep. He's shirt less, wearing only a black sweatpants, his hair has remnants of water in it which means he's taken a bath. He got off the bed. I didn't feel a thing; why would you, you make it so easy for him to lie to you.

I shift my body for the first time, a pathetic attempt to move away from him, he stirs and then opens his eyes. He looks at me with deep, beautiful chocolate eyes, eyes that make your heart melt, eyes that pour their soul in yours. I know it's an illusion, to make me feel for him but I refuse to.

"Hey, you hungry?" He ask as if we're waking up at home, as if nothing has happened. "No. thank you" I say a bit to softly as if I'm afraid but he hears it. "I'm going home ok?" I don't know why it's phrased as a question I need to be confident now not cowardly. "Can I take you at least, please?" Are we playing a game of 'mouse and mouse' because we both sound like we're walking on a glass roof that may break any moment. "Ok" there it is, betray us some more why don't you! Offer to sleep with him while your in the process, why stop now; you're on a roll 'Lici'. I physically shake my head to get the annoying voice out and just sink back into the comfortable bed.

I take the opportunity to look around, I love this room, it's beautiful. It's large, spacious and clean, yes clean describes this look perfectly. It's egg white and gold; lots of gold. The room gives an ancient finish yet modern enough to be comfortable. I love this room; I would decorate my room like this; even down to painting/ framed artwork of a valley made of gold twine.

My earlier questions come back to me and realization hits me like a bucket of ice cold water. This is Princes Estates.

This is our house!!

"Raymond?" I'm supposed to say more but something is stuck in my throat, rationale perhaps. "Mmmm?" his quick but abrupt response.

"Where are we? Who's.... who's house is this?"

"Oh god" it's an under breath mumble but I hear it just fine. "Amm" his hand moves to scratch behind his head and he's searching the room to find an answer?

************

Raymond's POV

"Amm" I am so dead! She is definitely going to leave me. How could I be so stupid? Why here, why did I have to bring that wasted Excuse of a sperm here? She is definitely out now, nothing you can do about it.

I know right?

Wait! You can beg. Not just saying 'please' beg, I mean grovel beg, on your knees, tears, mucus the works!

That won't work, I've almost killed a man in our potential nursery, how can I expect her to enter that room again, or have my kids in it. So stupid Ray, major major fail.

She's staring at me, the fact that she knows the answer to her question clearly written on her face. She just needs to hear it from my mouth to confirm the truth, I feel a sense of pride and gratitude towards her for that. We have really come a long way. Two months ago she loathed me, now she trusted me.  Trusted me enough to give me the benefit of the doubt. Well had trusted me anyway.

"I'm sorry" the millisecond the words leave my mouth, her eyes close and press tightly together. I want to say more but the disappointment on her face is like a steal prison on my lips. I can't further hurt her with confirmation. she opens her beautiful hazel eyes and it glazed over from soon to be shed tears. Tears I caused. Tears I tried to avoid. Tears that showed that I was a failure.

First, I failed to make her love me and she became susceptible to another. Then I failed to keep her safe; he got to her a second time under my nose. Now I failed to keep her from seeing what I was capable of. I didn't get to hide her from the monster in me.......  All because of him!

I going to finish kill him as soon as I take her home. I seethe, anger growing inside of me at the thought of him.

Alicia jumps slightly and I realize my tension has her nervous. Again I F×ck up. Damn you for being an i***t Raymond.

I take a chance and hold my hand out, I don't know why but it's too late to pull it back. She stares at it for a long period then at me for even longer. My hand is still out awkwardly, begging for confirmation? acceptance? I don't know. I look at it then lower it.

"I'm sorry,... I just can't" this time the apology is from her, I wanna tell her that she did nothing wrong, that it was all my fault. That I'll be better and deserve her hand someday but I can't.What did you expect  you failure.

Soon enough, although it felt like a lifetime of tense silence, she suddenly raises off the bed and heads for the door.  I quietly follow her.  She looks around after she steps out, her forehead contorting; "left" I say softly not wanting to make a big deal of the fact that she doesn't know her way around this house and before it stirs up memories of what she just caught me doing here.

She turns and solemnly walks down the staircase, not saying a word; which scares me half to death.  I long for her to speak, argue, something! at least ill know what she is thinking.  This is truly torturous. 

We walk to my mom's Benz that she drove here i guess, i'm distracted for a moment as i wonder if my mom knew what she wanted the car for.  My mom would never let her follow me, no matter how much she likes her.  The revving of the engine pulls me out of my day dream and desperation is the only thing i can feel again.

In an instant, without much thought I lean through the window and claim her lips. 

When I kiss her she doesn't respond straight away, instead guarding her mouth, withholding herself from me.  I deepen the kiss, savoring the sweet taste of her lips, when i'm about to pull away I feel her respond, slightly, but a response no less; her eyes close and she dips her tongue into my mouth, caressing, tasting me.  I feel the hardness between my legs demanding relief, demanding the heavenly feel of her heat.  I want more but I need to earn her.

Alicia's POV:

Why do I give into him?  Because of chocolate eyes with long thick lashes that see through to your soul, because of six foot three of manliness that makes you know that you can enjoy being a woman and you are protected, because he makes you orgasm over and over and leaves your body totally satisfied..... You know all the reasons why Lici.

I really need to get a hold of my conscious, she is getting out of hand being sassy towards me.  "I gotta go" i say clumsily when he ends the kiss. His hand had made its way to my chin  during the kiss and he used this chance to rub the pad of his thumb across my bottom lip, this mind you; sent delicious shivers southbound.  A surge of immense pleasure swirled in my heat.  I wanted him.  I wanted him badly. No! 

That's right, I should not have him.  I should not give in to this monster called a man.

I pulled my head away and drove off, not bothering to ensure that he moved his hand out of the way or say goodbye.  Staying around him will make me submit to him and I am not prepared for that, especially after this!

I get 'home' for lack of a better word for his parents house and take a shower.  I remained under the heat for at least 20 minutes , all the muscle in my body limp from being too relaxed.  Its high time I get out and face reality. Just a few minutes more.  

At the same moment someone entered the bathroom.  Someone hopefully not Raymond, then again, Hopefully it was him, anyone else may mean trouble.  He is trouble. 

Raymond entered the shower stark naked, in all his glory! and glory does not give his male parts justice. "hey baby" he quickly closed the distance between us and snaked his arm around my waist, swallowing suddenly becoming hard. His erection pressed against my stomach, hard, wanton.  Just the thought of him inside of me  brought unbearable pleasure. I hate wanting him but i can't help it.

He lifts me and wraps my leg around his waist, an action i would normally perform myself. I do however support myself by securing my legs around him, his hand snakes to grip my ass cheeks and he squeezes; the simple movement making juices seep from my core.  Gosh I was weak for him.

So weak that the only thought in my head was running my lips across his skin, taking him in my mouth and extracting his essence. Not wasting a drop.  He lowered his head and slowly licked and sucked at my neck, making me writhe in response.  The pulsing in my core increased ten fold and without thinking; the shameful words are out of my mouth, "Please make love to me, I need you".