At his will

In my head

My hands reached up, palms flat against his chest as he claimed my lips again and more intense than ever. "so f*****g beautiful" he murmured into my mouth, the tightening of my core was evident that i longed for him. The kiss was powerful, pleasurable; one that said you are mine and no one else's.

My leg rose instinctively wrapping around his waist when his fingers found its way to my needy c**t, rubbing slow circles and bringing me to my release, I didn't mind one bit that we barely started; the fun was just beginning.

"oh f**k" I moaned, rather too loudly for my taste but I was slowly becoming his; with no opposition from me. He picked me up and carried me to the bed, softly laid me down and hovered over me. This kiss was soft, gentle, meaningful; he moved down my neck kissing and sucking, finally stopping on a n****e, giving full attention to it while surprisingly caressing the side of my body making me feel worshiped.

That's what I thought until he kissed his way to my core, worship was an understatement. Without warning his lips were on me, swiping his tongue over the opening, sucking and circulating my c**t causing immense pleasure; my back arched up and I had to restrain myself from being undone, Again! so soon. I wanted to enjoy this, wanted to squeeze every bit of pleasure I could from what he was doing to me.

But I couldn't stop myself!

I Came!

and came!

and came!

My entire body convulsed, he gripped my thighs to steady me, while I shook violently, unable to contain myself, he did not break or slow down for me to compose myself. Over and over he licked, and sucked, and drank all the essence that flowed from me. The erotic scene in front of me only adding to the sensual gratification that I was experiencing.

I gripped the sheets, I clenched my stomach, I even tried ignoring the feeling but it was impossible. After what felt like a really torturous time; my orgasm slowed and rode out. I was panting like i had just run a marathon and he had a smug smile on his face; "taste how sweet you are" he mumbled before capturing my lips into a searing kiss. He didn't lie though the flavor was unique but mild; tasting myself on him sent more heat to my core and began the process all over again. He reached out and started massaging my opening then dipped a finger, then two, he teased me while making me ready to accept 'him'. I ground my hips against him, need building intensely. Silently begging to be filled.

Reading my mind he broke the kiss and looked me in the eye; adjusting himself at my entrance. "Are you ready?" he asked. Something he started doing since we decided to try and make it work, maybe he was sorry for the first time. "Mmmm" was all i could croak out. Until he entered me with one smooth filling thrust; "Arghh... " i cried out sounding more like a wounded animal than a person being satisfied. "shhh, it's ok" his calming words after spreading me; he stilled allowing my body to naturally adjust to having this intrusion inside of me.

Moving in and out, then in circles. Bringing me to the edge once more without major effort on his part and so soon no less, was embarrassing. I wanted to hold back, wanted to be a challenge but i never could when it came to him, even the day he took my virginity, It was rough and devastatingly painful almost blinding. He tried to hurt me even though it would've taken so little for him to actually cause me pain. He had taken me that day, without remorse without love. Had tried to punish me for something I did not do. He didn't care, Who was he? He wasn't this person inside of me at the moment. This person was selfless, loving, respectful. How could these two people be the same person! Will that man hurt me again? Will he hurt me like he did before and break my heart in the process because I fell for him.

"Lici baby don't cry, are you ok?" This is what I'm talking about, this man can't be the maniac that tore me up and made my entire body ache.

The look in his eye is caring, gone is the smoldering gaze from before. He reached out and wiped my left eye with his thumb, that's when i felt the wetness my cheek held. "Please talk to me Alicia, did I hurt you?.... Did I do something wrong.... I'm sorry...., please say something, tell me what to do" I shake my head because its the only response processing at the moment. The tears hasn't stopped and Ray is looking sad and frustrated? He starts to massage me, to calm me I guess. My arms, my stomach, my legs, when he gets to my feet it turns to an all out foot rub. The tears are still coming even though I've long stopped thinking about anything. I can be such a girl sometimes! Argh!

After the pain in my body had subsided from him taking me the first time, I had felt different than I ever did. Even though he took me so roughly it had a sense of heat attached to it, danger, and pleasure mixed into one. I couldn't appreciate it at the moment but the days following brought new experiences. I felt sexier than I ever had. I craved being touched, being caressed.

The foot rub Ray was giving me was working, I felt myself calming down even though I don't know why I was worked up in the first place. Why were my emotions so haywire?

"Hey" I croak out, sounding stupid. Hey! Really! After what just happened all i say is hey.

"You ok beautiful?" How could you hate this man? How could you run from him for so long. I scold myself still in my thoughts.

"Yeah, I am... sorry" I mumble the last part, solely because of embarrassment. 

"You sure, can I get you anything?" His response to my half apology. 

"Nah, I'm good; thank you, for..caring and.. everything else"

"Relax Baby, you're working yourself up again" he coos.

He snuggles at the side of me, spooning; his face in my hair. I just listen to his heart in silence until we drift off to sleep.

---------------------

I guess our new house isn't ready although Ray said it was two weeks ago while on our honeymoon. I'm not doubting him; he told me he wanted to add some other stuff so whenever it's ready I guess we'll move in.

Eloise has been such a friend, she almost makes Ray's absence unnoticeable. Every day for the past five days he's been gone for a couple of hours, he doesn't specify where he goes. I don't ask and he doesn't say.

What a marriage!

Soon enough work is going to begin; he says he doesn't want me working but that'll happen when hell is an ice cave; I need my independence and freedom so I am not prepared to give up my job. I have a little over three weeks to make the most of my vacation then its back to work. Back to normalcy.

Mrs Johansson doesn't work and she seems happy enough. Maybe a little bored, she did talk to me all the time for the past week since the party and I thought she hated me.

I'm sitting at the oversized island in their oversized kitchen and playing with my breakfast; scrambled eggs, pancakes, and ham sausages. I suddenly lose my appetite thinking about how my day will run, Ray hasn't left yet and it's the first morning he has missed breakfast with us, I strengthen my resolve and decide i'm going to confront him this morning. So I stand and ask my pardon.

I peer in our room and don't see him, that's strange I think to myself, he never leaves without saying goodbye, anger instantaneously develops and I March to the bathroom to ensure that he was not there. As I storm in I bump into a hard, wet wall and stumble back. Strong arms reach out to grab me and he pulls me into him using this opportunity to snake his hands around my waist. We're Chest to face and I feel him getting rigid against me instantly. My eyes widen at the realization and he chuckles in response. 

"What? can't a man be attracted to his wife?" He doesn't wait for a response and claim my lips. Full of passion and need? He stops after a while causing a pleading whimper to escape my lips. It's been so long since we've been intimate, sure six days isn't that long to a normal person but my body craves him for sanity. We lay together every night and I want him, I do but I'm too afraid that someone (his mother) will hear us and think less of me. I know it's silly and I should make love to my husband but I can't shake the feeling. The night we made love in this house was amazing as usual but even then the thought plagued me.

"How can I help you, my love?" He whispers his lips still centimeters from mine each hot breath reaching deeper in my core.

"Huh?" I mumble because it's all I can process, I Don't have time to figure out answers to nonsensical questions.

"You came in looking for me, what. did. You. Need" And with every word he kissed my lips with those gorgeous, soft lips of his.

"Huh" I mumble again because I'm really not paying attention, I think about what he could have possibly said trying hard to concentrate because his laugh is so distracting, so genuine. "It's OK I didn't want anything, just to check why you missed breakfast" I lie but I'm too nervous to confront him. Way to go Alicia.

"I'm sorry you had to eat alone, I'll make up for it. Soon. What would you like to do today" my eyes widen at his suggestion.

 "you're staying home?" I beam, feeling like a kid on her birthday. 

"Sorry love; but I can be back soon and we can do something"

Disappointment is a biitch.... The hurt that stung me was unbelievable, a month ago I wanted no part of him, now I am sad when we're apart. "It's ok, I'm fine, really" there's a stinging behind my eyes and I look away. He lifts my chin and force me to look at him as a tear escapes without permission. "don't be sad, please. I never want to see you cry. I love you sweet Lici, I'll be back soon... I really need to go ok?" He asks.

 "ok" I whimper out as a reply. 

"If it's not please say, I'll.... I don't know... please say you understand"

"I do and I'm fine, go"

"I'll be back soon ok" He promises but I don't believe him.