Lakshmi

Chapter 18 Sarasu in dreams

On that night, after the gods had finished their visiting of the village of Thirumayam,  Sarasu felt a kind of emptiness in her heart. She saw Deivanai and Saroja were in deep sleep in their beds. She felt she was restless and weary. She opened the door and saw the empty courtyard opposite to her room. She saw the sky with few little stars glittering. She went and sat on one of the chairs at the courtyard. Sleep was not wanting to embraze her. She felt lonely and deserted. And totally given up.

She knew she is far away from Karuppiah. Far far away. Yet his smile, his intelligence,and his ability to understand women, their difficulties had been enchanting  her for years. She felt she couldn't forget him, even if thousands of Lakshmi come and grab him. 

She remembered the nights she would go alone into the fields to the bunyan grove of goddess Lakshmi, praying for Karuppiah.She recalled her prayers for their married life, their children. Now the prayers were unheard and  unanswered. A goddess who never answers true prayers. Now she started to abuse goddess Lakshmi. Merciless goddess. Does not understand a woman, being a woman.  Does not understand the human cry, being a goddess. She cursed the goddess Lakshmi. 

She thought of Lakshmi, now the wife of her dear Karuppiah. 'What a profound beauty! Reddish pink as a lotus! Her smile and her way of handling my emotions. Incredible personality! She is worth of Karuppiah. More intelligent than my Karuppiah". Sarasu was looking at the sky for a long time. She saw three beautiful stars on a line. Big stars. "The centre star must be my Lakshmi. The star on her right hand is my Karuppiah. In the left, it is me", mused Sarasu.

Suddenly she got shocked at Sundari standing before her. Sundari asked," Sarasu, what is the problem. Don't you want to sleep? Tomorrow you have a travel to Lakshmipuram". Sarasu tried to hide her emotions and her thoughts. She replied," No acca, I felt that sleep was not coming to my eyes. I had some disturbed feelings."

Sundari asked her to wait. She brought a cup of hot water to Sarasu, saying " Drink this hot water dear. Perhaps because of some item in the dinner, or the eatables, they are causing you not to sleep. Now after this hot water, you would find some relaxing. Drink it.And then go to bed".

Sundari and Sarasu heard the voice of Krishna Achari. Sundari said, " I think my husband wants me.  So you go to bed", advisingly.

Sarasu continued to watch the three stars for more than an hour. Then went to bed.

She saw Lakshmi and herself on the king bed at the room of Karuppiah. Lying. Facing each other. Her left hand went and touched the right shoulder of Lakshmi. She smelled the fragrance of jasmine, and marigold. She saw the  flowers  were adorning the neatly braided hair of Lakshmi.

Sarasu's right hand searched the left leg of Lakshmi." Acca, my dear Lakshmi acca, you are always amazing. No doubt my Karuppiah loved you". 

Sarasu lowered her eyes, and saw Karuppiah on to a reading of something, reclining himself on a convenient chair. Sarasu smiled at him. She said, " My dear husband. You must have married me. My life took a different twist. And you have married my Lakshmi. Though Lakshmi married you, I would consider you still as my husband, beyond my death also. You only lives in me. I am angry at goddess Lakshmi. She has ditched me. She forgot me."

Sarasu now saw both the hands of Lakshmi extending as a great rope. The hands bundled her and placed her next to Lakshmi. She saw the lips of Lakshmi covering her lips. She heard Karuppiah, saying something. She was unable to understand anything". 

Contrarily Sarasu heard Lakshmi saying, " Sarasu. You are  me. We both are one. Yet we are different. Karuppiah is my husband legally. We have a mission together.Yet truly he is of you. I am yours. We both belong to you. I cannot share Karuppiah with you. He is mine. Yet I can ask Karuppiah his deep love on you in his dignity".

Sarasu suddenly awoke. It was a dream. Dream only. She felt all those events of her nearness with Lakshmi and Karuppiah were only as a mist. She looked at Deivanai who was in her deep sleep with little snoring, while Saroja in her beauty of silent eyes. 

The moment she was trying her best to make sleep come into her eyes, our kitten in the form of a lizard, sneaked into the bed room of Sarasu, saw her sleepless eye lids, took pity and kissed her head, and quietly came out the house of Krishna Achari. 

Upon arriving at the road towards the east gate, it turned direction and went into the fort through a hole that was in the south gate. Having reached the inside of the fort, it gently walked into the king's horse stable, and lent its ears to the conversations in the room of Karuppiah. It knew eve's dropping was not a good conduct, yet it decided to listen to the couple in the room of Karuppiah. After sometime, it heard the door getting opened. She saw Lakshmi glancing the horse ground. Suddenly she took the form of rooster. And did a cockle-ooo-do.

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Lakshmi suddenly awoke with a disturbed feeling. She saw Karuppiah next to her in his handsome appearance. She saw his half closed eyes. She saw his curly hair. She saw the little smile even in his deep sleep.

She opened the door. Saw the horse ground empty. She felt a calmness in the fort. She suddenly heard the cockle- ooo-do of a mid night rooster. Another three more hours to dawn. She estimated. She returned back to her bed. Yet sleep was not entering into her eyes. " What must be the problem?", she mused within herself. She recalled the last two hours with Karuppiah. She blushed. She was trying to find the answer to her no sleep. She could not.

She neared Karuppiah. Watched his face keenly as a child watches her mother. She began to place her head on the bosom of Karuppiah. She heard the awakening sound from Karuppiah. She felt  his both hands embracing her in utter content, pressing her deeply onto his chest.

Then Karuppiah awoke. He saw her eyes with no sleep. He did not know the reason. He pulled her over to him to ensure the reason. He asked her," Lakshmi, anything troubling you?"

Lakshmi replied, " No Kala, I have no problem. But my mind goes to Sarasu this time. I feel that she must be depressed. She must be feeling lonely. She must be not sleeping these days properly. I saw in her eyes deep love for you. I think she had loved you from her childhood. We must see her at Lakshmipuram soon".

Karuppiah smiled at her. He said, " Yes I know, she loves me. But I cannot share my love with her. To me it is only you Lakshmi. Until my death, it is you only".

The couple heard another rooster announcing sooner the dawn. Another deep sleep had encountered the couple. They lost both their senses. 

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The jingling of bells of the temple of Perumal disturbed the sleep of the young couple. They heard voices of several including the king.