Marrying Sam Fajardo

Kabanata 6

Kabanata 6

Tulala paakyat sa silid. Bigla na lang ako pinamuluhan ng pisngi. The hell self, you really thinking about the kiss? Sunod sunod na iniling ko ang ulo ko. Nababaliw na ata ako. The hell Fajardo!

Na tauhan ako ng may tumikhim.

"May maganda ba nangyari at mukhang nakangiti at pinamumulahan ka r'yan?" tukso nito.

Oh, it's Mama!

Hindi ko alam saan ako babaling at tila nahihiya dahil sa sinabi ni Mama! This is embarassing!

"Ma, no, it was nothing. Medyo mainit lang naman po kasi."

Ngumiti ito at hinawakan ako sa magkabilang balikat. Then she kissed my forehead.

"You can't hide anything from your Mama. Tell me, si Sam ba 'yan?"

I sighed.

At saka nag iwas ng tingin tapos pinaglaruan ang mga daliri.

"Ma, hindi ba mali po ito? I am marrying him and I will hurt my sister. Okay lang po ba ang ganito na set up? I mean, he's basically Ate Stef's ex-boyfriend. Hindi po ba panget tignan?"

She caressed my face at saka hinawakan ang kamay ko.

"After a long time, Charlotte. Nakita rin kitang may ibang aura. Hija, hindi ito mali dahil kinausap naman kami ng Papa mo ni Sam about kay Stef at matagal na pala talaga silang tapos."

"Don't feel sorry or what, anak. Besides, may mali rin kaming nagawa sa Ate mo. Nagpabaya kami kaya lumaki ang ulo niya. She even distanced herself. I'm sorry that she's mad at you regarding sa matter na ito."

"Ma, hindi na po ba pwede ito i-urong?"

She smiled.

Hinaplos haplos nito ang buhok ko. I really love my Mama for being caring and sweet. Kaya takot ako magkamali ng mga desisyon ko sa buhay. Wala silang ginawa ni Papa na hindi maganda sa akin.

Nandito na lahat sa akin, mayroon ako lahat. I can't, I can't just do some foolish act na alam kong ikaka-dismaya nila. Hindi ako naging impulsive, o nagdesisyon sa buhay ko na isang beses ko lang pinag isipan.

Sabi ni Papa. Lahat ng desisyon sa buhay, bago mo gawin. Pag isipan mo ng mabuti, hindi lang isang beses. Kung di, maraming beses, kahit isang daang beses pa. Kung maari.

"Anak, Kean. Matagal na kami nagdesisyon ng Papa mo tungkol rito. Mahalaga sa amin ang future mo, alam namin na kay Sam, maayos ang future mo."

Maayos? How can she say that? Ganoon ba sila ka tiwala kay Sam Fajardo? What if, one day? Masaktan ako? May regrets ba sila? One if, one day. Hindi pala kami gaya nila ni Papa na nagmahalan? What if, panandaliaan lang lshat ng ito? Gusto ko man sabihin 'yan kay Mama. I know, nakakabastos 'yon.

"Alright, Ma. I understand. I am just going to change po."

Tumango ito sa akin.

"We're having dinner, Hija. Bumaba ka pagtapos mo."

"Yes po."

Do really arrange marriage work? I mean, fine. Sige. I don't want to ruin our family, pero what business Sam and my sister had before ay wala naman na siguro ako roon? I am out of that, right?

Ugh, it's so frustrating. I don't what to do!

Bumaba na ako after I changed my clothes then diretso ako sa dining area. Nandoon na si Papa at Mama. They are waiting for me.

"Stef won't answer any of my calls. That brat!" bulalas ni Papa when he put down his phone.

Tahimik akong umupo sa tabi ni Mama. She just gave me a warm smile.

I will try, kahit once.

He removed his glasses and mssage his temples. Probably, sumakit na ang ulo dahil sa nakakatandang kapatid ko.

"Pa."

"Yes, Charlotte?"

Bigla akong kinabahan. Mama looked at me with questionable eyes.

I let out a sighed first. "Can we not push through this marriage?"

Napatitig sila sa akin. Maybe a bit shock or what because this is the first time that I tried, oh damn! Natakot at nahiya ako sa ginawa ko.

"Charlotte? Come again?" si Papa.

"Pa, kasi Ate's really mad about this, baka naman she can come back here if we don't do  this marriage with Sam."

"Anak, matagal na silang wala ni Sam."

"I just don't want to break Ate's heart, Ma, Pa."

I looked at them. Okay, I get. I started liking Sam, hindi ko na itatanggi. But that doesn't mean na hindi, oh my gosh! Hindi ko na alam. Ayoko lang talaga na magkasiraan si Mama, Papa at Ate. I can't afford to lose any of them. Especially my sister's already drifting away...

How I am gonna pull her back? Swerte ako kasi I have a very loving Parents na simula bata hindi kami pinabayaan. Ayoko lang mawala si Ate because we are not a Family without her!

"You are not breaking her heart, Charlotte. She's getting insane."

I am hurt for my sister's situation. Bukod pa roon, hindi naman siya nababaliw pa. She's just hurt or broken.

Nagulat ako ng may nilabas na brown folder si Papa.

"See it with yourself."

I gasped. She's spotted drinking with some of her friends then what the hell are they doing?! Are they high or what? Grabe, what happened?

"She's using drugs for pete's sake!" sigaw ni Dad.

"Honey, hindi ito maganda. She's getting out of our hand. How could she do that thing?"

Maging si Mama ay taranta at nag-aalala.

Paano if mahuli ito ng mga awtoridad!?

Goodness, she's really not herself! Hindi ko alam if ano na ang pumapasok sa utak ni Ate Stef. Hindi naman dapat ganito!

"Ma," I called.

"How could she do that thing, nag drugs pa talaga!" si Dad na nag uusok na sa galit.

"Pa, calm down. We can talk to her."

"How? She's not even listening to us, Charlotte! Napaka disrespectful ng Ate mo na 'yan!"

"Goodness, para lang ba sa lalaki? I can find a better man for her!"

"Sam broke up with her, years ago! Bakit ba nagkakaganito pa siya!"

I press my lips together.

I know, Ate's just hurt kaya ganito. Alam ko kung gaano siya kasaya noon kay Sam. I saw how her eyes twinkle kapag nagkekwento ito, how much she loves Sam. Their future.

Maybe this is just too much for her, after all this years they spent together tapos they broke up lang sa huli and she will know na ipapakasal pa sa akin 'yong lalaking minahal niya. Just tell me. This is so bullshit, right?

I am guilty really, kasi I am starting to like Sam. But look, ang gulo ng set up. Like, he's my sister's ex. Is this even right?

I am stupid?

"Pa, maybe we can ask Sam a favor? Like, talk with Ate so she can go home and stop that doing bad things."

"Come on, Charlotte! Don't give your sister a false hope. Lalo lang siyang aasa that she and Sam can be together again."

I shut my eyes.

"Sorry, honey. But that is a no-no."

Mama held my hand and give me a small smile. I know it's hard for her too, anak niya 'yon. She both raise us fairly, siya at si Dad but look what happened? Hindi naman nila ginusto na magkaganito ang kapatid ko. I can feel that she's sad.

What should I do?

I sighed.

"Baka naman pwede po patayin muna natin ang issue about our marriage? Kasi this thing really affects her, that's why she's doing things na."

"Pa, Ma. Imagine lang din kasi, mahal niya pa si Sam. She's hurt, mahal niya 'yong tao, e. Tapos ako and Sam happen? I mean, our marriage thing?"

Napahilot ng sentido si Papa, Mamaet out a sigh. Nagkatinginan sila.

"Please? Can we move it? Change the date?"

"We'll discuss it muna, anak. You go upstairs, Charlotte."

I only nodded my head. Nagpaalam na ako sa kanila.

Nang makahiga ako sa kama. I am thinking ways to you know, mapa kalma si Ate. I know it's stupid. Pero alam ko si Sam lang ang magpapakalma rito. That's the best thing and way na alam ko.

Hindi ako makatulog. Sana maurong na lang muna 'yong sa amin ni Sam. At least we can still get to know each other? Or I don't know! I really don't know!

Can I know what's the real reason why did they really broke up? Since I am involved now? Or I am sticking my nose into someone else business na hindi naman dapat?

Ah, tang ina! I am sorry, pero grabe. Ang sakit nito sa ulo.

Like, how I ended up being in a situation like this?

***

"Hey, K?"

"Hoy, girl!"

I was back to my senses dahil sa laway na tumaliksik at sigaw ni Josh.

"What?" I asked Mayton.

"Kadiri naman, saliva niyo!" I said at saka pinunasan ang mukha ko.

"Ano na kasi? Tulala ka lang forever? Dumadakdak na kami ni Josh wala ka pa rin galaw?"

"Girl, bata mo pa para sa mga problema na 'yan."

"True, K." si Josh.

"Share it, so you can be better, ano. Ano na ba ganap kay Stef na bruha?"

I glared at Mayton. The sharp tongue of her. Never ata itong pumalya, e. Here is the side of her goes again.

"Respeto naman para sa Ate ko, oh."

Mayton only rolled her eyes. "Putang ina, Kean Charlotte! Putang ina? Respeto? Eh, gago na 'yang Ate mo, hinahanapan mo pa rin ng respeto?"

"Still, Mayton!"

Napatahimik sila dahil medyo tumaas na ang boses ko. Ate Stef's still is my sister! Ate ko 'yon, pamilya ko.

"I am sorry, guys. Please. Magulo sa bahay. My relationship with my sister, ang gulo. Plus, the f*****g marriage. Swear, ang sakit na sa ulo, e."

Napayuko na lang ako at na sapo ang aking noo. I felt Mayton hug me from my behind nagsalita rin kasi ito.

"I am sorry too, pero Kean. Hindi mo naman lahat 'yan dapat problemahin. You've been a good daughter, a sister! Tang ina, kung may pinaka mabuting tao lang na award. Sasabitan na kita!"

I laughed a bit.

"Kasi naman, K. Issue naman ng Ate mo 'yan. I mean, nakikita naman namin na okay ka, e. Family mo siya, pero hindi naman kasi lahat ng problema niya pwede mo pasanin."

"Gago, 'di ka si wonder woman!"

"Mayton, the hell! Ang bunganga mo!" I said.

"But really, girl!"

"Matagal na hiwalay si Sam kay Stefanny. Plus, if things are really awkward for you, then decline and refuse ang marriage na ito. Simple diba?"

"B----."

"Hep, hep!" both of them shut me up.

"Hulaan na namin 'yan."

I rolled my eyes because I can't help it!

"But, it doesn't work like that, right, K?"

I sighed.

"Na gi-guilty kasi ako, I started to like Sam. Pero kasi ex siya ni Ate! She's mad at me, sa bahay nagkakagulo pa dahil kay Ate." I exclaimed.

Mayton tap my shoulder. "Kean, hindi ko rin naman alam diyan sa Mom and Dad mo, e. Why did they even set you up. Tanda mo na, e. Tapos uso pa rin sa inyo 'yan?"

"And oh, don't be guilty! It's not your fault!"

"Gawaran ka na kaya namin ng award talaga. O kaya ito, crown for being obedient daughter of Rivera." kunwari ay may pinasa at nilagay sa ulo ko itong si Josh na korona.

Natawa ako at hinampas na lang ito.

"I am serious here, Josh!"

"Gaga, seryoso rin naman ako!"

"Guys, sa tingin niyo? Tama pa ba ang ginagawa ko? I love my parents so much that I can't disobey them, I can't. Besides, hindi ba panget na ex niya na tapos sinalo ko?"

"Wala ka naman sinulot, K. Ang problema lang ex-girlfriend siya ng soon to be husband mo. Which is for me, hindi naman issue kasi sabi ni Sam wala na siyang feelings, right? At lalo namang matagal na silang hiwalay, e."

She's right, but really. Mahal ko si Ate, ayoko lang madagdagan pa kasi 'yong nararamdaman niya. Pero is it bad if I started to like him? Bawal ba ito?

Wala nga akong sinulot. I mean, hindi ko naman talaga na involve ang sarili ko sa kanila, sa relationship nila before and I don't have any idea na biglang ikakasal ako kay Sam.

Please, mali ba? Mali ba 'to? Tell me, guys. Ang pagiging masunurin ko ba mali? Am I ruining my family, or my relationship with my sister? Is it my fault?

After that we went on our class, buong mga klase ko lumilipad lang ang utak ko. Damn, hindi kasi ako makapag isip ng maayos.

Nagtext ako kay Mayton and Josh that I won't go with them since I wanted to be alone.

Magpapasundo na lang sana ako sa family driver namin since nakapagpaalam ako sa Parents ko that I will go to mall, mamasyal just to at least, mabawasan ang isipin ko.

But I am lucky, super lucky.

Na sa may labas ng university si Sam, nakasandal sa kaniyang sasakyan. He's catching a lot of girls attention. He waved his hand, ngumisi pa ito. May hagikhikan pa akong na rinig. Ang popular naman nito, hindi man lang ba siya aware that he's attracting girls? O sanay lang ba talaga ito?

Nagmamadali akong lumapit dito.

"Why are you here?!" mababa pero matigas na sabi ko.

Mukhang galing ito sa trabaho. He's wearing a formal suit, e. Baka may board meeting or what na dinaluhan.

"I am just fetching my soon to be wife."

Umirap ako ng wagas. Wife his ass. Ito na naman ang mga galawan niya. Don't fall, don't fall for his stupid ways, Kean. Think, think, think!

"Ang dami mong alam, ano?" singhal ko.

He winked at me. Like what hell? Seriously?

"Let's go."

Napailing na lang ako at luminga sa paligid. Mga babaeng nagbubulungan. Gosh, magiging laman pa ako ng mga tsismis sa unibersidad namin, e.

Nang makasakay ito ay nagreklamo ako agad.

"You're attracting too much attention, gagawan mo pa ako ng issue!"

"Issue ba na sunduin kita? Why do they care about us?"

"Hindi mo naman kasi ako kailangang sunduin, e!"

"I already texted you, nakapagsabi na rin ako kay Mama."

Ano'ng text? At kailan pa siya naging anak ni Mama?

Sa apat na taon ko sa kolehiyo. Ngayon lang ako napagtinginan ng mga tao na parang isang malaki akong hadlang sa buhay nila. Lately, I've been hearing a lot of gossips about me! Hindi nakakatuwa dahil ang mga babae sa campus ay galit na galit makatingin sa akin.

Wala naman akong ginagawang masama towards them! Nakakapanibago lang!

Kinalkal ko sa bag ang phone ko. Hindi ko na rin napansin na low battery na ito at namatay na lang pala. I am pre occupied lately. This is sick!

"My phone's dead batt, plus." nakuha ko ang atensyon niya. He glance at me for a second then get back his attention sa kalsada.

"Hmm?"

Why does he sounds so sexy with that? Goodness, self? Nababaliw ka na ba?

"Do I even agree that you could fetch me and ihatid ako pa uwi?"

"No, pero gusto ko."

Natigilan ako. Why does my heart skip a beat? Why does it beating like this? Ano? Ano ba ito? I am telling you, Kean. This is insane.

"Hey, are you fine? Can't you breath?" napalinga ako sa kaniya at napatingin sa ginagawa ko.

Marahan ko pa lang hinahampas ang dibdib. Nakakahiya dahil nagawa ko pala ng hindi ko napansin! This is his fault!

"No, no, I am fine. Don't worry. Just, just drive!"  singhal ko.

Nabigla ako ng hawakan nito ang kamay ko.

"What?"

Kita ko na nag aalala ito. Hindi ko naman pwede sabihin na tumibok ang puso ko dahil sa kaniya. Nakakahiya ito!

"Are you really, okay? Namumula ka."

I gasped when he touches my neck. Kinuha ko bigla ang kamay niya at inilayo ito sa akin.

"A-ah, yes, yes! Siyempre, I am okay."

Sinandal ko ang ulo ko sa may bintana at tumagilid na lang ako at napapikit! What the hell I m saying!

"Nagpaalam na ako, we're going on a restaurant."

Nilingon ko ito.

He chuckled. What was that for?

"You didn't even ask my permis----sion."

He laughed, lalo akong  ahiya at namula dahil bigla na lamang tumunog ang tiyan ko. This is so awkward! Bakit naman ngayon pa ito sumabay. This is freaking embarrassing, Kean!

"I guess, your tummy says so?"

Umirap ako rito!

Pagkapasok ng restaurant ay nahihiya ako. I am still wearing a uniform! Tapos itong kasama ko ay pormal na pormal! Lalo na dahil ang lakas ng dating nito. Most of girls and women were looking at him. Natigilan sa pagkain ang iba at mas nagmukha pang mas gusto nilang kainin ang isang 'to. Ngumuso ako. So, is he that delicate?

Ang mga babaeng ito! I wanna pulled their eyes out! Wait, what did I even say?

Pinaghila ako nito ng upuan.

"Kean,"

Napalunok ako dahil ang seryoso nito even they way he calls my name. Ang lamig sa pakiramdam. He can be abnormal sometimes but he's can be serious too!

Mabuti na lang at naputol ang tingin niyang halos tumatagos sa kaibuturan ng katawan ko it's because of the waiter.

Matapos makuha ang order namin ay muling tumitig sa akin si Sam Fajardo.

Hindi ko kayang makipagtitigan, hindi ako sanay sa ganito. This so awkward you know?

"Stop staring!" I said in a lower voice.

"Wala naman ako sigurong dumi sa mukha, ano?"

He shook his head, pagkuwan ay nangalumbaba. Napakurap ako. Bakit ang perpekto lang?

"Ganda mo lang." he said, while his eyes shimmer.

Para akong nabingi. Umirap ako kahit na ramdam kong namumula ang mukha ko sa sinabi nito.

"Bolero!" singhal ko.

"Hindi, sa totoo lang ako." now he's even smiling from ear to ear. Nababaliw na siguro ito?

"Ganito ka rin ba sa Ate ko?" nawala ang ngiting nakaguhit sa labi nito. Nangunot din ang noo nito at nagsalubong pa ang kilay.

"Why did you even mention her?"

Hindi ko rin alam. Bigla na lang iyon lumabas sa bibig ko.

"Sam, wala na ba talaga kayo ni Ate? I mean, is there not even an inch of chance you guys could be back together?"

Hindi pa rin nagbago ang expression nito. He even c****d his head to the other side. Halata na hindi gusto ang mga sinasabi ko.

Why? Mali ba ito? I am just asking if mayroon pa. Kung baka, baka magawan ko pa sila ng paraan ni Ate. Baka hindi na maging ganito si Ate Stef. So she could be back to normal, hindi siya galit kay Mama at Papa, lalo na sa akin.

"We broke up already, f*****g years ago, Kean. No, walang balikan na magaganap."

"But she loves you so much!"

"But I don't love her anymore." he's intently looking at me while saying that.

"She's just insane, Kean. We're done, please stop mentioning her because I don't have any business to her."

"You're my business now, Kean."

Pinanliitan ko ito ng mata. Hah! Business, okay!

"So, are you gonna dump me then like what you did to my sister after? If I am not your business na, ha? Is that what you mean?"

Seryoso ito para ngang napipika na sa akin.

"I won't dump you!" he said.

"f**k, your sister's insane. She's toxic! I did everything for her, but she always ended up shouting and blaming me for the things that I didn't do!"

What?

"I found out she's having s*x with my friend, a lot of my friends! Now tell me? Why would I want to be with her?"

"But she sai------."

"A bunch of stupid lies."

Nabigla ako. I don't know if that's the truth but I really saw it with my own eyes! Sobrang saya noon ni Ate. But how did she even ended up doing nasty stuffs? She messed it up!

Nagulat ako ng ilapag nito ang phone niya. There's a picture of Ate Stef with a guy, they are both naked. Wait, I know him! Ito ang sikat na Architect student way back na sa lower year pa ako.

"You could scroll them if you want, my friends send it to me."

My hands were trembling, what the f**k? She's what? Doing threesome?! Marami, sobrnag daming picture. Saan it nanggaling. It was clearly my sister. Hindi ko na nakayanan at binalik ko na ang phone ni Sam.

"God, please. Tell your friend na i-delete 'yan. You too!"

I don't know what to say. Nagulat ako.

"Stop defending her, you're only making yourself a fool."

I shut my eyes.

Damn, Kean. Damn!