Chapter 4. Can I dream you?
966 Words
It's been a month since I stopped having a dream about anything, about Polo and all. I don't know If I'm missing having one or I just missing Polo still.
I'm now in my 4th year in college, Polo and I should graduate together. But sadly I will graduate without him, but for sure If he is here. He will tell me that I should not wear black toga because I love yellow.
I'm in my favorite place in the School but now on my own.
"Why just now? Why I'm being sad now. It's been a month since Polo died" I said while facing the body of the tree.
As I go home, my dad is the one I saw first. He is sitting on the couch while he is reading his favorite book, titled: A Far.
"Sweetheart, you're home. Do you want to eat anything?" Dad said.
"I'm fine dad, I just want to rest" I replied.
I lay down quickly on my bed, I didn't change my clothes. I just really feel tired really really tired. I tried to close my eyes to fall asleep but I didn't. I ended up opening my eyes again. I change my position sideways and get the pillow beside me and bump it to my face.
"Come on, Abby sleep!" I said to myself.
"I want to sleep, I want to dream. I want to see Polo, please" I said and I started snubbing.
"Why can't I sleep? Please let me in, let me dream of you," I said together facing the ceiling of my room.
And out of nowhere, I didn't notice that I already fell asleep, but no dreams, no Polo. no everything.
More weeks pass by and the graduation day is coming near, I decided to go to Polo's house because it has been abandoned since the day he died. I enter that house, I go to the closet and touch every edge of it, hoping that I can feel any presence of him in that very moment. But nothing, I just reminisce with the moments we had in that closet.
"Yes, I'm i***t Polo by not telling you how special you are to me. even in my dreams, I'm not able to say it, stupid me" I said and exhale deeply.
From there I go next to Polo's gravestone, maybe because to accept things around me, for me to stop waiting to dream. I stand beside his gravestone.
"You, i***t. You leave things unfinished" I said and smile a bit.
"You really love playing with me Polo, aren't you?" and I laugh
I sat down beside the gravestone of Polo, slowly touching the edge of it until I reached the name on his gravestone.
"I miss you, Polo" I whispered.
"Can I please dream you one more time" I followed.
"Is it possible if I close my eyes right now, I will see you?" I said.
And I tried to close my eyes slowly and tightly and I closed my eyes and said in my mind "Please, Polo makes me dream".
I close my eyes I guess for a second but nothing happens, no Polo, no anything. And that time I guess it is over and I open my eyes again but that time with a smiling face.
"Okay, maybe you are the one who loves to sleep right now Polo" I stood and said to his gravestone.
"Take care from there please, continue being annoying, My Polo," I said and smiled.
And I start to walk away from his gravestone but in my 5th step, I stop and turn my back one last time.
"Don't be shy to dream about me, Polo. I'll wait" I said and walked away.
Since that day when I visited his house and gravestone, I feel free, maybe because I started accepting that he is gone physically but he will always be here for me, for us.
Tomorrow morning in my School I saw something that is being renovated, and the place is where "Pita" stands, they cut off my favourite tree, in my favourite spot in the entire School.
"Waa---it, What's happening. Miss Maricar, why are they cutting the tree off?" I said with a panic voice.
"It is a command from the Principal's Office they said for safety purposes" Miss Maricar explained.
And yes, I have another breakup, everything is being removed in me. And what's next? I'm really done, why is this happening?
"Dad?"
"Dad?"
"Dad, are you home?" I said.
"Yes, sweetheart I'm here in the attic. So how's school?" Dad said.
"It is not good not anymore, they cut off the tree, my favourite tree," I said with a mad voice.
"Then grow another sweetheart," He said and looked at me like he's telling me something great will happen.
From that very moment I decided to plant a tree, but not in the School anymore, but in our backyard.
"There you go, grow faster," I said.
"But wait, what should I call you?" I asked myself.
"Aha! I will call you, Dream" I said with joy in my face.
Each and every day I keep going to "dream" before I do anything or go anywhere, it gives me some energy that I can't explain. It makes me happy genuinely.
One time at night, I tried to look out my plant from my window. But then I decided to go down to see it closer. Like what I always do, I tried to close my eyes in front of my plant while kneeling and whispered "Let me dream" together with a soft voice.
As I open my eyes, I see Polo.
"Po---loo?" I asked with my shock voice.
"No, Abby this is not real. Come on, you're done from here, no more Polo. It is done" I said.
As I closed my eyes and opened it again I saw "dream" and not Polo.
And at that moment I realized that my dad Is right, it is not really about what you've lost, it is about how to have what you've lost.
- Writer
