Fighting Instincts

Chapter Eighteen - Cleaning Up

There was nothing more refreshing than a long soak and cleanse. Knowing someone waited for me in my room was a bit of a let down. Sooner than I liked I rose, smelling a hundred times cleaner, and pulled a fluffy towel from the rack to wrap around me. I pulled the plug and grabbed another towel to wrap my hair in. A knock at the door pulled me from looking in the mirror at the pale image of self doubt and depression. I held my chin a little higher. It was time to take a little more control. I could start with my appearance. You do not need to look down in shame. Have confidence. I coached myself.

“Yes,” I cleared my throat when my voice cracked.

“Once your dressed come to Derek's office. We have a meal being served and we need to talk.”

“You know you could ask right?” I snapped angrily.

“Please,” he mocked from the other side of the door and I could tell Zen was already walking away.

I dried hurriedly, because of habit and not to rush for the stubborn, self-intitled, prick of a beta beckoning me like I was a lowly servant. I used a robe on the back of the door to cover myself and walked into my room to hunt for a few pieces of clothing. Xena was lounged on the bed with a smile on her face.

“What?” I asked curiously. Half focused on dressing and half on the emotions on display.

“Nothing,” she said with a false innocence and wicked grin.

“I may not know you the longest but I do believe I understand you well. You're not fooling anyone,” I pushed air through my nose in a silent snort. She paused, pouted and then shrugged.

“No one usually pushes Zen. Or Derek for that matter. They may be stick in the muds but they are well proven stick in the muds. Not sure if its your nature, or if you lack the instinctual need to submit for some reason but you sure do make for great entertainment,” she said with a heartfelt laugh. "Don't worry, I wouldn't let them kill you for insubordination," she added, another grin painting her face with the ever so hidden trouble placed in her jeweled eyes.

“You're welcome and thank you, I guess,” I said as I settled a shoulder baring sweater over the tanktop I wore, which was tucked into a pair of dark denim jeans.

“My dad did not do you any favours though. Next time you go shopping for clothes you are going with me,” Xena said. “Why are you hiding your great rack?”

“Because it comes with a heavy waist size,” I said with annoyance.

“Yes, which gives you all the curves you need to keep the boys busy drowling and the men grovelling at your feet. Please let me dress you up tonight,” Xena begged.

“Tonight?”

“The pack gathering,” she reminded.

“Oh, that,” I said with less enthusiasm, a tug at my lips as they pulled into a frown.

“I will make you look every part the goddess you are and deserve to be," Xena wasn't asking but it was hard to deny her and I wasn't sure why.

“I guess,” I accepted. I will regret this but how bad could it be? Famous last words.

Postponing a meeting with the alpha when your fate laid in his hands didn't feel smart. With Xena pointing out the way I found the office. The forboding dark mahogany doors were etched and carved to show a fenish werewolf of legends. Howling to the moon, on two hind legs, arms at its side, long tail jutting behind and to the side. The other door had a beautifully carved wolf of the present. At some point I needed to find the connection between myth and legend. Had werewolves been as chilling as depicted? Or were they a fairy tale meant to scare little boys and girls?

I knocked on the door, begging permission to enter. Not begging, I reprimanded myself. I am a strong female and I can prove it. Naturally I was two steps ahead of my brain in action and three steps behind in a plan. A trait which rubbed off on me due to my mother's proximity. Along with the ever stubborn, set your mind to it and never let it go, trait.

"Come in," Derek called, his voice barely an effort. I didn't strain to hear him but I knew, somehow, I could only hear him because of my wolf senses. Had I let all my guard down now? Was I adapting because I was around werewolves? Could I be okay with this? A sigh fell from my lips. This path I was on wasn't like any I imagine and as much as I wanted off I was a car on a highway going kilometers over the speed limit. No, I couldn't jump from the car to safety. All I could do was hang on for the ride and hope to reach a safe destination when all was said and done.