Fighting Instincts

Chapter Six - Cleaning Up

Xena rose to her feet and beckoned me to follow with a wave of her hand. She moved to a bare section of wall. With a push, the wall moved inward an inch, and she was able to slide it out of the way by pushing it to the side. Inside was a large tiled room. Stepping in, I noticed a steaming pool in the center. There were showers off to the side and a couple of stalls along another side. A shallow pool was along the back. This one was large, almost the size of a swimming pool, but empty.

"Usually this isn't functioning, but I figured it would be fine to fill up the hot tub for today at least. Shall we take advantage?" As she looked to me she wiggled her eyebrows suggestively and then I watched as Xena's short dress fell off her shoulders and she stepped out of it. She hadn't worn anything underneath it. I hugged my chest. Even in school, I hadn't stripped much in front of other girls. I bit my bottom lip and contemplated excusing myself, but my muscles ached, and I hadn't bathed in so long. Xena was already washing herself down in a shower stall so I carefully moved to one of the other empty ones and stripped. I did not take my time. The faster I cleaned myself, the faster I could cover myself up. As I washed the dirt and grime from the past weeks out of my hair, slowly I felt more myself. I was peeling back the layers of grime to let my normal, human self shine through.

I ignored the growing list of things I knew I needed to face, but I was able to tell myself I would have time for that later. I turned off the water and looked about for a towel. My eyes fell upon Xena sitting in the pool of bubbling hot water. The bubbles were enough to agitate the water, preventing someone from seeing any details. Perhaps it would be okay if I took a few moments to sit in the heated water. I stepped in and every inch of me relaxed as the tight elastic within me had snapped and released. My shoulders sank into the water until only my head was visible outside.

“Feel better?”

I could only nod. Perhaps having a friend like Xena wouldn't be too bad. Her ideas had worked wonders. On the other hand, having a friend like Xena would mean accepting ideas and opinions opposite to my upbringing. I was certain I could continue to be myself and ignore her beliefs and continue to live my life as I saw fit. It was nice having someone I didn't have to hide a part of myself from.

“Xena,” I began, not sure how to hold a conversation. Typically, I didn't speak unless spoken to. Mother and father said I was shy, but it was more about being afraid of giving away my secret by saying the wrong thing. I didn't have human friends my age. Instead, I hung out with my mother and the ladies at the community center. I babysit children younger than me and I helped seniors at the retirement center. “Nevermind,” I said suddenly. No, I couldn't risk having a friend. If I did, I risk exposing myself twice as much.

“No, what is it?”

“It isn't important, just forget about it. This is really nice though. Thanks for treating me so kindly.”

*****

Xena stayed in one of the nests beside me. She had opted to sleep in her wolf form, feeling like the nest was more comfortable as it had been built for a wolf. The beds were very soft, and I was easily able to curl into one and cover up without feeling crammed in human form. Xena's breathing evened out, and I rolled onto my back staring at the vaulted ceiling.

Part of my mind had played with the idea of running away in the middle of the night. Father had given me his knack for planning and I couldn't force myself to do this. I wasn't sure where I was and hadn't had the opportunity to bring it up in conversation in a way appearing more natural and less suspicious. I also knew I was no match for a wolf giving chase. I wasn't going to be shifting to wolf form just to run away. I didn't like the chance of getting stuck again. Depending on how the meeting went, I could determine my actions afterward. My eyes roamed the gold detailing of the arch in the ceiling and then to the painted scene along the crown molding.

The meeting, I wasn't sure of the time. I hadn't checked it when I saw Xena looking at her phone. The sun had set some time ago and both of us had been exhausted, so we opted for an early bed. A little nap and I was now wide awake. My mind played out scenarios. Perhaps they, being the alpha and Zen, would find me too annoying or too much of a hassle. They might kill me, or abandon me. I could handle being left alone. I could use my wits and figure out how to get home.

I looked over at the empty nests around me. There were empty beds with the excuse not many people stayed in this pack house. Was that because numbers were dwindling? Maybe the alpha would order me to stay in order to help with population increase. I shuttered hoping this was not how everything would work out. I was far too young to be worried about creating a family. I wasn't even sure if I wanted kids at all. I assumed this was something I would have time to decide later in life.

Another scenario blasted. Animals were beasts. Would the pack keep me against my will, breed me to my death? I shuttered. Even the happiest of families have deep secrets, like my family holding my secret. Though Xena looked happy and content, there was no telling how dark the lines tangled in the pack. Was I a breath of relief for her? A moment of peace before chaos reigned once more? Another shutter.