Melody Of Love

I Can't Take It Anymore

Rose POV

I looked at him as he took a step away from me. I immediately looked away from him. I wanted to go and demand him to extinguish the fire he set inside me. This man is playing with my feelings. No, not him, I’m letting myself get attached to someone who isn’t going to be in my life after some time.

Not wanting to be in that awkward situation anymore, I took a night suit before running into the bathroom. I made sure to spend a long time inside the bathroom. By the time I came out, Michael was asleep. I slowly made my way towards the bed, making sure not to make any noise. Michael is a light sleeper.

He looked so peaceful sleeping. The thing going on with our marriage is completely getting out of my hand. The past month, when I stayed at Kate’s apartment, there wasn’t a moment that I didn’t think of him or remember him. Only I know how much I wanted to meet him, spend some time with him, wanted to come back to Wonderland.

The day Michael came for dinner, the moment I saw him, I wanted to run into his arms and hug him tightly. Only God knows how I controlled myself. I wish Michael makes me understand what’s going on between us. I wish that these feelings are mutual because I’m very near to falling in love with him. I wish that he loves me too.

He stirred in his sleep and hugged me from behind. We were so close that I could feel his heart beating behind me. I turned my head to see him still asleep. I tried to scoot away from him, resulting in his grip tightening around me before he kissed me on my neck, below my ear before whispering a “Sleep Angel” in my ear. I closed my eyes enjoying this moment with him.

“Please stop. Stop!” I woke up hearing Michael.

“I’m sorry.” He’s having a bad dream. Oh, God.

“Michael. Wake up.”  I placed my hand on his shoulder trying to wake him.

“Don’t...please.” He said with tears flowing from his eyes. What the hell is he saying?

“Open your eyes, honey.” I placed my eyes on his face, wiping his tears. He opened his eyes and the look on his face broke my heart. For the first time, I saw how vulnerable he is.

He sat up and pulled me into a hug. I could sense fear in the way he held me. I immediately hugged him back.

“It’s okay. Everything’s fine. I’m here with you.” I whispered soothing words to him.

“It hurts so much. I can't take it anymore.”

The pain in his words, Jesus! What happened to him? What hurts? What is he talking about?

“It’s okay, I’m here. We’ll face it together.”

After some time he broke the hug and looked into my eyes as if searching for something.

“Do you want to talk about it?” He remained silent for a minute with a blank look on his face.

“People don’t see me as a person, they think I’m a money-making machine. They say bad things about me and it hurts. I’m a human, I have feelings and it hurts. No one loves me as a person. They love the money and fame that comes along.”

A lone tear escaped his eye and I didn’t understand why he thought so, that no one loved him. Are you kidding me? He is the biggest celebrity ever and people love him unconditionally.

I wiped away the tear that escaped from his eyes. I moved to sit in his lap, my legs on either side of him while his hands came to rest on my back. I cupped his face and looked him in the eyes to make him understand how truthful about what I’m going to say now.

“People love you, Michael. Your fans all around the world, love you unconditionally. Your family loves you. Your friends love you, they are loyal to you, not to your celebrity status.”

“Some people aren’t loyal to you, they are loyal to their need of you. Once their needs change, so does their loyalty.”

I don’t know what happened, who hurt him so badly that he found it hard to trust people, to accept the fact that he’s loved, by millions of people.

“What happened Michael? Why are you talking like this?”

“Nothing.” He stopped for a moment as if trying to search for the correct words. “True love and loyalty are hard to find.” He looked at me, his eyes mirroring the pain he is hiding. “I guess I’m not lucky enough to find true love.”

“It’s not true. Don’t think like that ever again. You are the most beloved person, and who says no one loves you. Well, get your facts right Mr.Osburne because I do. I love my husband.”

The words escaped my lips and it’s only after a second I realized what I just said. The look on Michael’s face said he didn’t miss it. He heard what I said and he’s shocked. What did I just say!? Dear Earth, open up and swallow me, right now!

Hell, I know that there’s some physical attraction going on between us but that’s it. Where the hell did the L-word come from? And what am I going to say to Michael? That I’m developing feelings for him even after knowing that this is a contract marriage? And where did those words come from? I have feelings for him but love is a different thing.

Michael’s hands cupped my cheeks and he is looking at my face as though he’s searching for something, some confirmation for the words I just said.

“What did you just say?” His voice sounded surprised and husky at the same time, causing my heart to beat faster.

“I-I just, I mean-I…” What should I say now? What should I answer him?

“Angel, just make one thing clear. It’s not one-sided, right? You feel something for me, don’t you? Just like I feel something for you? It’s not only me, is it?”

Oh sweet heavens, did he just confess his feelings for me? I won't look like an i***t if I accept my feelings for him, will I? I didn’t know what to say so I just kept looking into his eyes, hoping he would read my eyes like I read his eyes.

“If you don’t want to say anything, then let it be but just remember, silence speaks more than words.”

“I-I need to use the w-washroom.”

Saying that I scrambled out of his laps and rushed into the washroom. I closed the door behind me and walked towards the mirror. What the hell? Did I just say that I love him? How am I going to face him from now on? This is so embarrassing.

He asked if this is a one-sided thing or not. He has feelings for me. I just wish this is not some kind of dream. But what about Liza? They're engaged. I can't be the third person in their relationship. But why did Michael marry me in the first place if he’s engaged to Liza? Why is this so confusing.

‘Stop thinking, live in the present, and be careful with your feelings for Michael’ my subconscious reminded. Well, I should be careful. He can wake up one morning, dump me and I can say nothing about it. It’s me who’ll get hurt if I let my feelings get strong for him. We’re just friends and I need to stop looking at him differently. This is a job. He paid for Kate’s surgery, he saved her life and I’m repaying him for his generosity by being his wife for a year. That’s it. I should not let things go out of my hand, out of control. ‘10 more months and it’ll be over.’