#56
1471 Words
I do not get what they were talking about?
Like Rishav came to me and said about his feelings.
I do not know what was it?
When I reacted, he said I was joking, I was making fun.
But why did I not believe him?
It is not that I do not want to believe him.
But yes!
I could not believe him, even after trying hard. I could not believe it.
I was off.
Things are so messed up.
Who did so, I do not know. But yes!
Things are very messed up!
What the hell was that.
I am done with everything.
I do not want myself to get hurt anymore.
As it is the mess that Atul has created in my life is beyond anything.
The mess which Akash has created in my life is beyond anything.
And what to say about my parents.
They are ridiculous.
It is not that they do not love me.
They love me but they love themselves more than anything.
They love their business and money more than anything.
I know this for sure.
Things are not at all the way they should be.
Yes, it is life.
And things go this way only, but I know I should not get hurt like this.
But things keep on affecting me like this.
If I had an option I would opt not to be in this shitty situation.
I just hope that Rishav whatever said was a joke. Nothing more than that.
I just cannot take this s**t.
I really cannot take this s**t.
It is very irritating.
Plus my whole mind is blocked.
How will I survive?
I do not know what type of s**t is this.
If I had any option, I would not live this life for a while.
That is it!
Rishav’s point of view
I know I may be sounding like an idiosyncratic soul.
But yes it is true, I love her.
But I will not at all tell her.
I will not tell her about anything.
I cannot take this s**t.
I very well know that she loves him.
She is madly in love with Akash.
She can do anything but she cannot forget him.
before thissthereseveralf people came into her life, but what place Akash has in her life is beyond them. Even she is not aware of anything. She is completely clueless about everything. She does not know anything. So! Please.
But sooner or later she will get to know about this. She every time thinks about him. Be it day or night she thinks about him. Whenever she closes her eyes, he is there on her mind.
So I know that he is there on his mind. No one can change this situation.
It is my bad luck that she cannot be mine.
Even if I want then also she cannot be mine.
But it is okay!
I am k with everything.
I am very much okay with everything. Let things be like this only.
I do not want to hurt my friend. I know she is already pissed off due to him.
Atul has created a lot of s**t in her life.
So yes! If I will also do the same in her life then what will be the difference.
She will not at all be happy.
Apart from this the chaos in her life related to Akash also exists.
Snd I very well know she is very much upset with all these things.
And I cannot increase her tension anymore.
No, I cannot.
She loves me as a friend and I also love her as a friend.
And I am very much fine with everything.
I do not want anything else in my life.
Above all her friendship counts more than anything in my life.
I can live without love but I cannot live without her friendship. For me, her friendship counts the most.
Nothing else.
So yes!
Let her be in peace.
For me, after my parents, she is the mo0st important thing in my life.
No one else is as important as she is in my life.
No one means no one.!
And I know I am also important to her.
The place she has given me, I am okay with it. Her parents do not like me. Even after that, she talks to me nicely. She considers me. She at times fights with her parents just to make them understand that she cannot live without me.
She loves me and I love her.
It is just that my feelings got turned away somehow.
I know it should not have been this way. But yes! It got this way.
What can I do now?
I really cannot do anything.
Things are very simple as they were before.
So yeah! I shall forget everything.
And I will keep all these thongs just fine as they were before.
Because this will happen then things will be very chaotic.
I know she will not be comfortable.
She will not at all be comfortable with anything.
For her, I matter.
For me, she might compromise things, but yes!
I do not want to hurt her.
without her how will I live?
for me, her friendship has been the support.
When she is with me, I feel comfortable.
I feel like everything is okay.
And everything will be fine.
nothing will change.
I have to make only one thing clear that she does not get to know about this. i need to make this sure. i need to make Disha understand everything. And make sure that she does not get to know about this.
I have somehow made Disha trust me.
And i will carry this forward too.
So that she will not at all tell about this to anyone else.
I shall love you and only you Ria.
For me you are the only one person important in ny life.
Even if i want then also I cannot think about anyone else.
For me you are the one who lights ny life.
I want to go along very long along with you only.
Except you I do not want anyone else in ny life.
Life without you is like hell..
And I do not want my life to ve like hell.
I do not want to hurt myself.
I cannot imagine talking to you and someday not being in convoy with you.
Life will be very painful of you will not be there.
So I do not want Ria this.
I have been with you since years.
And I will ve like this further too.
Why will I change things.
I cannot change.
Just Disha needs to get certain things.
Why the hell did I talk before her.
If I would not have had convoy with her before then these things would not have taken place.
Yeah!
Things would not have been this way.
I was mad.
I just went abd said things like this only.
How can we just be so idiotic.
I cannot be.
I hope Ria did not take me seriously.
Yeah!
I do not want her to misunderstand me.
If she will get me wrong things will be more complicated.
I want things to ve subtle enough.
I just cannot survive this way.
Damn it is my fault only I went and said about this.
Why did I say all these things to her.
I just cannot.
I could have stopped myself.
If I would have stopped myself then this would not have happened.
Things were in my control but I kept on messing up things.
Such a s**t I am.
Excellent.
Like seriously.
I need to talk to Disha.
Yes!
Wait I shall call her.
Hello Disha.
I need to talk to you.
Now what?
What is there to tell?.please listen.....
What....
Disha do not tell about anything to Ria.
I hope you ate getting me.
Please do not tell her about whatever I said her.
Just do not tell her.
Yeah!
I will see to this.
Bro please....
Do not tell her anything..I know you got me.
Please listen .....
Acha tell me Rishav?
What?
I just want to know one thing, why are you behaving this way.
Is there anything that you are guilty of?
I think you are surely guilty of something.
That is why you keep on behaving this way .if there was nothing in your mind you would not have behaved luke this.
I am pretty much sure you do not want things to go around this way.
That is why you keep things like this.
You are afraid of Ria.
You do not want to tell her anything.. You think you will end up losing her.
That is why you stay away from her.
This is the very reason you are like this.
- Writer
