Thorns, Fire, and Petals

Chapter 4: The Red Velvet Girlz

Voice lined in velvet, delights any heart and warms the soul --- Carlo

It was like any other Friday night, we're here in our favourite bar talking with Louise the lead vocalist of the band playing. We always hang out with them after their set. Jude and Jane were on the other table, Jude introducing her to his friends visiting from Phnom Penh. Beside me was Ronald, the lead guitarist of the band he was telling about his first encounter with a transgender during his first time here in Bangkok. How he was mesmerized during their first meeting to how he wooed her to go out with him thinking that she was a real girl. Nat and Louise were laughing with me when her boyfriend Michael came with some of their friends. He introduced me and Nat to their friends.

"Carlo, Nat, this is Andy, Junel, Jay, and Don. Ladies this is Carlo and Nattapong, regulars here. On the other table are their friends, they normally come here during Friday night." Michael says pointing to me and Nat.

"Hi I'm Andrew, Andy for short" Andy said while exchanging handshakes with me and Nat. The rest followed introducing themselves.

"Hi, I'm Carlo, nice meeting you all," I said introducing myself.

"Pinoy (asking if I'm also Filipino)?" Junel inquired. I nod and smile in agreement.

The waiter added more chairs as they sat with us while the band went back to the stage to perform. This time Richard sings Somebody you loved by Lewis Capaldi. The new acquaintances started interviewing me and Nat. Jay who was sitting beside me started asking.

"How long have you been in Bangkok?" 

"I just arrived about 3 months ago, but I've always come here now and then to visit my Dad."

"Oh, you're a newcomer technically. Are you planning to stay long?" he asked while getting his order from the waiter

"Maybe, I'm not yet sure. How about you and your friends, how long have you guys been here?"

"I and Andy have been here for about 2 years now, we were sent here as part of the pre-opening team for a hotel, he's in the front office while I train reservation staff. Junel was also 2 years or more if I am not mistaken, we meet him after 6 months or so, he is now working as a Sales Manager for a beverage distribution company, our hotel is one of his key accounts while Don works for a digital & advertising agency and the 2 of them were housemates.

"Be (short for Baby), how long have you been here in Thailand?" he faced Don and asked him

"Me, about 3 years now, " Don said while singing along with Ronald while on his seat

"There you go," he told me after getting the answer from Don then he continues, "So, how about you, what makes you busy now?

"I'm teaching kids along with Jane, the lady on the other table," I pointed to her direction. "I'm still looking for other opportunities since I'm not a full-time teacher." 

"What do you do back home?" Don asked

"I'm a designer in a furniture company, the company produces custom design furniture for export" 

"That's a very exciting career already, what made you leave and come here?"Jay inquired

"It is quite a fascinating career indeed, but I guess as an individual we needed more than a career. I was hoping to find out what life has stored for me outside the country. Anyway, we're still young, we will be able to fulfill those dreams eventually." I said, trying to be more positive about what I am doing here. They don't need to know everything about me, I indeed wanted to look for myself to understand what I like to do in my life.

"Wow, I love that!" Andy butt in and raised his glass, we all followed and cheers, "Cheers to our dreams!" Andy shouted.

"Cheers!" we all exclaimed

The night was more alive with the newfound friends, we drank, laugh, sang and danced. I didn't even notice Nat went home. Louise's set is soon coming to an end when she requested me to take the stage and sing. And because I'm a bit tipsy, I accepted her request and sang Señorita by Camilla Cabello, with a helped of Ronald and Louise.

I started singing, holding the microphone in my hand, on track moving, swaying my body like Camilla. I felt like I'm stripped-out of my inhibitions as I continue making salsa moves while singing, I went out and gave my female singing voice:

I love it when you call me señorita

I wish I could pretend I didn't need ya

But every touch is ooh la la la

It's true, la la la

Ooh, I should be running

Ooh, you know I love it when you call me señorita

I wish it wasn't so damn hard to leave ya

But every touch is ooh la la la

It's true, la la la

Ooh, I should…  

My friends danced and sang with me while I'm on the stage, the audience cheers as it fills the dance floor. I was sweating, chasing my breath after I sang the last part of the song. The audience clapped their hands while my cousin Jane hugged me taking me back to my seat.

Jude's friend approached me clapping his hands and told me how great I was. I said 'thanks' hugging him since he's been happy hugging me. Jude did introduce him to me, I remember his name is Fran (short for François), I revive in mind how happy he was watching me sing and it gave me a big grin. I guess he is drunk as well, he asked me to dance afterwards and since the excitement in my body is still burning I obliged. We took the centre of the dance floor and shake our bodies like we own the song. It was only then that I realized how good looking this guy was. He was tall, not the sporty type but not chubby as well. He has this broad shoulder, strong-arm which would be enough to hold you. He's moving his body and making some silly moves without any care, making me smile and when he's seriously wanted to show some dance moves, he does it charmingly in a smooth way. He can take my breath away. The dance lasted a while until we both felt tired and took our seats.

I was catching my breath while drinking another glass of Daiquiri like water. I saw Andy and his friends taking their seats and drinking as well. We all burst to laugh as if we compete for dancing and drinking.

Andy move beside me while the others went back to the dance floor, he was looking at me and holding my hands and told me,

"Carlo, that performance you did was great! Have you performed somewhere before?" he asked

"I used to perform in high school but that was a long time ago, I was still unsure of my orientation then so it was different" I laughed at him, I hope I wasn't too blunt,

"I have a proposition, the girls (meaning Jay, Junel, and Don) and I have been doing this for fun and we would like you to consider joining our group."

"What kind of group? Is this a prank?" I asked furrowing my brow while cackles

"Of course not. You are silly! Why will we prank you?" he said tapping my hand. "Well, you see from time to time we're performing. It's not a regular gig and we only do it for friends' events and fun. And we are lacking one member right now as he went back home to continue his studies." he continued

"I don't think I can" I paused a bit and continued this time I give my sober look, "I'm teaching and I don't want to have any problem with my employer you know," I said while sipping my 5th glass of Daiquiri, I looked back at him measuring his feelings.

"Don't worry we all don't want our employers to find that about us" he laughs while gulping his drink

"We typically performs in girls' outfit, with all the make-up and costume, so far nobody except our close friends knows about it." he continued

"Just think about first, sleep on it," Junel said standing at my back coming from the dance floor.

I smiled at them as they took their seats. They showed me videos and photos of their performances to convince me to join. They even invited me to go out the next day to see their studio where they practice. I mentioned Jane the idea, we are now on our way home after dropping off Jude's friends (Fran and Jake) to their hotel. 

"What do you think?" asking for her opinion

"Well, why don't you try" she replied "or test the water, go out with them first and see how they perform and when you feel that everything is okay then join them"

"That's a good point!" I exclaimed, "You are the best!"

We are almost near my house now. So I said goodbye to Jane and Jude. I gave her my teasing look and telling her to not forget to use a raincoat (condom) in our language which she burst laughing.  

"Drive safely, Jude!" I said before going in.

I am now home on my bed glaring at their business cards on my hand, we've exchanged contacts before we left the bar. I somehow felt excited about the idea of performing, after all, I love the stage, the lights, and the audience. Being an ex-pat, somehow has its advantage nobody cares what you do and who you are. As long as you are not doing anything illegal, and you are not harming anyone you can do basically whatever you like.

The next day, I went out to meet Junel since he has the most flexible time among the four. They sure are quite serious about me joining their group.

"You know Sis, a life far from home is so sad. You need an outlet where you can express yourself freely and enjoy the fruits of your labour." Junel said. We are now in Starbucks near the school, chatting while drinking our Frappuccino.

"I know, I haven't thought of it. I guess I was busy looking for a life without really living one." I said thinking of what I just said. Well, it is true, I was busy escaping my past so afraid that it may come to hunt me and forgot to live my life. Although I was enjoying my stay in Bangkok, it's more like I'm just drifting.

"Okay, would it be alright if I observe first and watch you guys do it first? !" I looked at him waiting for his answer

Junel clapped silently in excitement "that's a great start! You will like it anyway for sure. I can feel it in my skin. The girlz would love this news. What time would you want to see the studio?" he asked

"I'm working half day only but I still need to do some lesson planning until 3 pm, we can meet here if that's okay with you," I responded

"Great, I'll see you this afternoon"

After drinking, we had a little chat and went our way. He still needs to meet his clients while I have some school papers which I normally do on Saturdays. The afternoon went so fast, I might be excited about what's going to happen this afternoon that's why I enjoyed the time as it passed by.

I was in front of the school waiting for Junel when a car stopped on the side of the road next to me. When the window rolled down, Junel quickly asked me to hop in. I'm sitting in the back seat as the passenger seat was taken by a lady. She has a European feature with red curly long hair, on her tees and jeans.

Junel speaks, "Babe, this is our new friend Carlo the one I told you," introducing me "Carlo, this Jessica my girlfriend".

"Hi, Carlo!" Call me Jessie, she gave her hand and I took it and answered. "I'm Carlo, nice to meet you!"

I was a bit confused which is showing in my face and the two were laughing. Junel looks at me from the rearview mirror while Jessie peeking from her side looking at me and Junel.

"I know what you have in your mind," Junel shrieks while driving

"And, it's a yes, I'm gay or better describe as bi-s****l," Junel said looking at Jessie who is also laughing

"Don't worry, I know all his stuff," Jessica said, "We met each other in one of his gigs, I was fascinated or kinda bewitched by him and I started pursuing him." 

"What? No!" Junel said joshing, "Well, that's a yes and a no. Yes, it's true in the beginning that she was the first to show interest in me. I was not sure of my feelings yet, I thought I was a straight gay and a bit embarrassed of my self of being stubborn for being untrue of my emotions towards her. Then she suddenly stopped seeing me. I thought she was getting tired of me, I also thought that she was leaving, her friends were just playing games on me and they caught me." he was grinning while reminiscing, "I went to pursue her afterwards".

"We liked each other, I also cannot believe that I love her," Junel declares holding her hands

"We both wanted to try it, I like how talented and handsome he is," Jessie said gazing at Junel

"Wow, what a love story," I said, happily looking at them. I envy their braveness, only a few people can be true to their partners. He managed to find a partner that understands him, that accepts him for what he truly is. While she's so fearless, her persistence is admirable despite the uncertainty of his s****l orientation she still went for it. 'No guts, no glory,' that's what Elain always said. And for that they are both winners, I pray for the success of their partnership.

It didn't take long before we reached their apartment. They lived on the second floor of a 5 storey apartment. Their unit is consist of three-bedrooms, where 2 rooms are occupied by the couple and Don while the other room was converted into a studio/ recreation room. The studio was big enough for 5-6 people, you can do dance routine or used for exercising. One wall was covered with a mirror, whereas parallel to it is a glass wall door leading to the balcony with a wooden floor matt. Inside there's a few monoblock chairs, a speaker, a flat-screen TV, and a laptop. 

We were singing karaoke when Andy and Jay arrive about 20 minutes later, they brought in pizza and coke. Don came a little late, Andy, Junel, and Jay were already practising 'Telephone' by Lady Gaga and Beyonce. They were wearing high heels boots while on their casual wear, Andy and Jay were wearing a wig similar to Lady Gaga and Beyonce's hair, when one is singing the others were dancing, then they will exchange another one will continue singing while the rest dance. It was fun to watch them practice, whenever some mistakes happen they will laugh it out like they'd were performing on stage. They're superb at making adlib and great at catching each other while performing. They asked me to try performing with them just for fun, we did the Fifth Harmony, 'Work from Home'. They insist that I sing Camilla's part while they teach me the dance steps. It wasn't so hard since I've seen the steps before which was similar to the music video. I love their chemistry on the dance floor and their patience in teaching.

They were okay for me to observe first on their next actual performance which will be this coming Friday,  based on my agreement with Junel. but they were all sure that I will be part of the group anyway since I showed interest in practising with them. They are performing 2 songs for their friends' Aunt birthday party. I am somehow excited to see them perform for real. That way I would be able to have a glimpse of their actual world while performing on stage.