The Immortal Dandelion

Gathering Wind

chapter05

Qiuqiu, all innocence: "Sis wants high school? Go! I can study here in the village."

Dad snapped: "What do you know? Village schools ain't city schools!"

After forever, I clenched my fists: "I won't go to high school."

"My teacher said with my grades, I can get free tuition at vocational school." My voice cracked. "Dad, Mom—when I graduate, I'll pay back every penny."

Looking back, I get their choice.

Limited resources. Bet on the one with potential.

An ordinary girl like me? Sacrificed.

But if I could go back? I'd throw a fit, beg on my knees—do anything to go to high school.

Grandma and Auntie scolded me:

"Can't you think of your parents? Other girls work! You failed your exams but still want school? What's the damn point!"

Village women "advised" my parents:

"Vocational schools don't guarantee jobs anymore! Waste of money! If it were a son, fine—but a daughter? Why bother!"

"Let her earn money to build you a proper house! This mud shack could collapse any day!"

Before school started, Mom handed me living expenses:

"Supporting you ain't easy. Pinch every penny."

The vocational school was in the city. Way pricier than village life.

200 yuan a month—barely covered meals.

The internet was new then. I got on QQ.

Xiangxiang messaged: "Factory work's hell! 12-hour days, 4 days off a month. Miss your target? They dock your pay."

"Staring at machine parts all day? I'm losing my mind."

"Xiaxia, studying's better. Across from us? Foreign company folks. High heels, red lipstick, sitting in offices—looks so easy."

K-dramas were huge then. I chose Business Korean.

Set a goal: I,ll work for a foreign company. Get a cubicle job.

I didn't push like in middle school, but I didn't slack either.

Roommates hit internet cafes for games and dramas. I went to research or practice Korean with

shows.

6 AM sharp: run, eat, study, then class.

No classes? Part-time work or the library.

I read everything. Young and indiscriminate—swallowed books whole.

Our school was a mess. Barely anyone studied.

Guys and girls with wild spiky hairdos.

Girls wore raccoon-eye makeup, guys had earrings and smoked.

Some got bold—making out in the cafeteria.

Teachers didn't care unless someone died.

To save bus fare, I rarely went home.

Every call with Mom: "Don't cause trouble! Save money! Your father and I work hard for this!"

I bought no new clothes. Two bras I rotated. No makeup.

Out with roommates? Spending 2 yuan on cheap lemon water made me feel guilty.

Yes.

Mom's words made every yuan feel like a betrayal.

Years later, when I earned my own money? Shopping still meant checking prices first. Even if I could afford it? That confidence never came.

Poverty was carved into my bones.

Took ages to sand it down.

But maybe it never truly leaves.

A senior named Zhao Liang—handsome—liked me.

Chased me for months. Brought snacks, waited downstairs every day...

The Breaking Point

chapter06

My roommates all pushed me to go for it.

"He's so hot, and I hear his family's loaded."

"He treats you great too—just give it a shot!"

...

I turned him down.

Smoking, drinking, fighting? To fifteen-year-old girls, that screamed "cool."

Not my thing though.

About a month later, Zhao Liang got a new girlfriend—some senior from the university next door. He paraded her around campus. Guys kept slapping his back, calling him a legend.

He even made sure to rub it in my face.

That night during our dorm gossip session, the girls were fuming. "Didn't even last a month before he jumped ship!"

"That senior's nothing special. Three or four years older than us, and not half as pretty as you, Xiaxia!"

...

After tearing him apart, our dorm leader sighed softly: "But she's from Normal University. A real college student."

Silence crashed down.

We already knew it: an invisible canyon split us from them.

Because of this**** **** = worshipof academiccredentials , those guys envied Zhao Liang. He'd bridged that gap and held hands with someone on the other side.

That senior seemed to skip class constantly, trailing Zhao Liang around our campus day after day. My little sister passed the exam for the county middle school. Mom and Dad rented a tiny place in town to live with her.

This caused a massive uproar back in the village.

Grandma slammed her cane on the ground, cursing:

"Two girls! Why waste all that effort on someone else's family?"

"That money could help your own nephew! Mark my words, you'll die with no one to smash the funeral pot!"

The villagers mocked them behind their backs too.

Said Mom and Dad should've just brought in a live-in son-in-law.

Mom held her head high, pushing my sister to prove herself.

She told me: "You study hard too. Once you start interning, your dad and I won't have it so rough."

Opportunities were scarce in our small county back then.

Mom and Dad pushed a cart selling stir-fried noodles, often chased off by city inspectors. They barely made enough to get by.

The vocational program was three years—two years in school first.

Summer after our second year, the school arranged factory internships.

I refused. A few of us who'd actually been studying decided to find our own jobs.

For two years, my grades had been top-notch.

I'd even won awards in competitions.

I had leverage.

I bought myself a cheap suit and had a roommate do my makeup.

The weather was perfect that day. Stepping out, the sky blazed with sunset.

A good omen.

Resume in hand, brimming with confidence and hope, I went to interview at a foreign company.

And who did I run into? That Normal University senior. She was interviewing too.

My heart leaped into my mouth for a second, then I steadied myself.

She ditched class for internet cafes or bars.

Me? I'd been hitting the books nonstop.

While waiting, I rehearsed my Korean self-introduction over and over in my head.

Needed it to be flawless.

Finally, the interviewer appeared.

She glanced through the resumes, quickly splitting them into two piles.

"Li Lin, Zhang Kai, Li Bi, Zheng Xiaxia..."

She called my name.

I shot up, ready for battle.

But the HR manager's next words dumped ice water over my head.

chapter07

"You lot, follow Engineer Liu to the factory."

"The rest can stay for the second round."

How could this be?

I stepped forward, voice shaking: "Manager, why? Look at my resume! My grades are excellent! I've won awards! My spoken English is good too..."

She glanced at my resume, cool as ice: "But you're from a vocational school. Our office requires a bachelor's minimum. If you were truly exceptional, I might push for an associate's degree holder." "Vocational school," she paused, "is just too low..."

I plummeted from the peak of hope, shattered on impact.

My ears rang. Through the buzz, I heard her say: "Go with Liu. Perform well, and we can promote you to team leader."

The senior got the second round.

As she left with the HR manager, she shot me a look full of meaning.

Walking home that day, the sky opened up.

Drenched to the bone, I bawled my eyes out in the downpour.

Why? Why did I try so hard only to hit this wall?

I refused to accept it. Tried company after company.

Rejected every single time.

One place spelled it out bluntly:

"Put a rooster head and a phoenix tail together? We'll still pick the phoenix tail."

Mom and Dad tried to comfort me: "Isn't everyone in the same boat? Take it slow. Any job that pays is good enough."

My aunt sneered: "Told you ages ago—vocational kids are useless now. You wasted your time studying."

If my destiny was the assembly line, were these last two years truly for nothing?

My roommate saw how down I was and dragged me to a movie.

We snagged the tickets for five yuan—total bargain.

Outside the theater, I ran into the senior.

She looked completely different now, radiating professional vibes.

She smiled at me: "Zhao Liang and I broke up. We weren't from the same world."

"If you wanna catch up to me," she waved her coffee cup, "try getting into a real college first, vocational girl!"

Go to college.

Could I even do that?

Lost and confused, I went home. It was time for the double harvest season anyway.

I ran into Xiangxiang.

She was pregnant. Getting married in three days.

She wasn't even eighteen yet—had two months to go.

I went to the wedding.

Belly swelling under her red dress, her black hair piled messily on her head.

Cheap lipstick smudged by tea, staining the corners of her mouth.

I asked her: "Does your husband treat you right?"

She cradled her heavy bump and smiled weakly: "We work at the same factory. Things just... happened. Now there's a baby. What's 'right' got to do with it?"

"Didn't you used to want to dye your hair?"

"He won't let me. Says I look like a hooker with it all messy." After the feast, rain started falling.

Summer rain lashed against my face.

I walked faster and faster into the wind and water.

Fear choked me.

Was Xiangxiang's present my future?

If I surrendered to fate, became just another cog on the line, would I soon be back here, pregnant and married off?

Living out my days in a daze?

Mud sucking at my shoes, I pushed open the creaking gate and yelled: "Dad! Mom! I want to go to college!"

The main room was full of people.

Mom and Dad had just come back from the fields—mud still caked on their legs.

Grandma, Uncle, Auntie, and a strange mother-son pair were there too.

The pair were distant relatives of my aunt's family.

The son looked twenty-four, kind of simple-minded.

In the countryside, that made him an old bachelor.

My aunt was trying to set us up.

Grandma heard me say "college" and lit into me, calling me crazy.

My aunt tried to smooth things over: "Xiaxia, you been drinking? Talking nonsense."

"My nephew's family's doing great—just built a new house. You're my own niece. I only think of you for good things."

"Yeah, yeah! We can give thirty thousand in bride price!" My aunt in her dark red dress beamed. "You won't even need a dowry."

Grandma chuckled: "See? He's a good one. He'll treat my granddaughter right. She's a hard worker, this one..."

My aunt looked me up and down: "A bit skinny though. Might have a hard time with childbirth." "My Daqiang's not getting any younger. I'm thinking we get them engaged on the 18th this month. They go work in Guangdong together, get to know each other, then marry over New Year's."

chapter08

That was the standard drill for village matchmaking back then:

Engagement → Go work together → Get pregnant while working → Come back for New Year's wedding.

Mom mumbled: "Xiaxia's still young..."

Grandma snapped: "Almost eighteen! What do you mean 'young'?"

Dad rolled his own cigarette, staying silent under Grandma's glare.

Weak. That's how they'd always been.

Anything I wanted, I had to fight for myself.

I slammed the table over, glaring at my aunt: "His family's so great? You marry him!"

"You force me, I'll hang myself at your damn doorstep! See who'll marry your son then!" The engagement fell through.

My aunt spread stories about my "terrible behavior" all over the village.

The village women called me crazy: "Proper high school kids study day and night and still can't get into college! What's a vocational girl dreaming about?"

"Thinks college is like planting cabbage? Just toss seeds and watch it grow?"

Grandma tore into Mom, calling her every name under the sun.

Finally: "Whether she marries or not ain't her choice! That's thirty thousand yuan! Take it, and we can fix up your brother's place. Dabao's twenty-two—high time he found a wife!"

That night, Mom asked how a vocational kid like me could even get into college.

Hope flared in my eyes as I spilled my plan.

A cram school would take me. There was a famous one in the next county over.

After a long silence, Mom asked: "How much for tuition?" "Three thousand a semester."

Cram schools were for-profit.

With my background, they barely wanted me even if I paid full price.

Mom sighed again: "That's so much money!"

What did three thousand mean back then?

Mom sold stir-fried noodles on the street—one yuan a plate.

After costs, she made maybe thirty cents profit.

Mom pulled out an old tin box. Under the dim light, she counted out crumpled bills one by one. "This money... it was for your sister's math Olympiad class. Giving it all to you still won't be

enough!"

Her hands, rough and dark from years of work.

Fine lines crowded her eyes as she just watched me.

Over two years ago, she'd looked at me like this too, making me back down and go to vocational school.

I clenched my fists, fighting the guilt, and knelt before my parents.

"Consider it a loan. I'll pay it back double—no, five times, ten times! Please!"

chapter09

Please! Don't clip my dream's wings!

Please! See the ordinary girl trying so hard!

My sister cried.

"Mom, let Sister go to school! I can skip tutoring. I'll still get first place!"

Dad, silent until now, crushed out his cigarette: "One year. If it doesn't work out, you go work and get married like you're told."

That night, my sister squeezed into my narrow bed.

She whispered: "Sis, I'm realizing getting first place isn't so easy."

Because we're born as points, then become circles.

The bigger the circle, the more unknown you see outside.

You realize how tiny you really are.

Some people shrink back, becoming limited spheres.

Not me!

Even if I'm destined to be ordinary, I'll expand and expand.

Even if I end up just dust in the universe, I'll have given it everything. No regrets.

For a whole week, I was drowning in mockery and curses.

Curses from Grandma—calling me a fool chasing dreams, saying I wasn't cut out for college. Mockery from countless village mouths.

They'd already declared me a failure, telling Mom and Dad not to waste their money. Better save it for old age.

Mid-July, I said goodbye to my sister and parents and left for the next county.

My sister saw me off at the village bus stop.

"Sis, you gotta fight!"

"Qiuping, if you don't wanna rot here forever, you can't slack either. You have no idea how much I envy your smart brain."