This New Life

Change in Pace

English was always Calida's favourite subject, especially Literature as, even if for a moment, she was able to detach from her miserable life and become one with the protagonist of the drama or poem they were studying at that moment. Calida sat at the back-left corner secluded from the rest of her class, but it's not like anyone even tried to approach her, they distanced themselves from her too except him. He didn't. He sat right next to her even though there were a dozen empty seats. He acknowledged her. 

"Hey. Calida right?" The tall blonde said as he sat down beside her.

"Ummm.....yeah? Hi," She answered hesitantly, barely lifting her gaze to meet his. What does he want? 

"How are you?"

"Good," She replied blankly, masterfully hiding the shock she was feeling. It was the first time someone actually asked her that question since she moved to Vermenia. Not even her family asked her that, assuming that everything was fine. "Ummm.....How do you know who I am?"

"I saw you some time ago in the halls, never got a good look at your face though. I recognized your hoodie it's the same one that you were wearing when I saw you." 

"Yeah...." Calida pretended to be amused.

"Come on. You can at least look at me. I don't bite don't worry." The boy snarked confidently 

Calida looked up off her book and met his eyes. Oh My! The green eyes blending into gold captivated her. She was trapped. She couldn't take her eyes off of his. The dirty-blonde hair perfectly complementing and accentuating their colour. Oh My! This time she was unable to hide her thoughts and she just stared at him But little did she know that he wasn't that different from her at that moment.

WOW! Who knew? Who...If...What? Those eyes. The way they shone in the shitty classroom light and her hair! I can't even see it all but those little locks of crimson peeking out from underneath her hood were all I needed to see to know that underneath that hood laid hair as red as the blood in my veins. 

As they were locked in each other's gaze they hadn't even realized that the teacher had entered the class until he was right in front of them. He had already started the lesson and was ready to dish out in-break detention. As he slammed to notes on the desked they snapped out of the trance and were not aware of what hit them. As the teacher walked back to the front of the class without saying a word, his walk alone enough to silence the murmurs and giggles in the class. Calida, instantly ashamed of how she was unable to control herself snatched the note off the table and crumbled it into her pocket already knowing what was written on it. He didn't seem to care as he looked around the room meeting everyone's gaze instantly scaring them back to their books. 

They didn't speak for the rest of the day and she hadn't seen him again until the detention came along. She sat in her usual place at the back of the English class and brought out some homework to do to keep her busy for the hour she was gonna be in there for. Then he walked in. Confidently, he strut towards her, throwing his bag on the floor beside her.

"My name's-"

She didn't give him the opportunity to finish his sentence when she got up and walked to the other side of the class, brushing past his shoulder. Sitting down at the other end of the class.

"-Cole," She heard him whisper under his breath in a disappointed tone. 

They both sat down and while she worked he just stared blankly out of the window. Did she feel bad for ignoring him? Maybe but she couldn't allow herself to be vulnerable like that ever again. But his name sounded familiar and it was partly the reason why she walked away unhesitantly. She knew that name but didn't know from where. Eventually, the bell rang and she got up and dashed out of the classroom as she couldn't wait to get the hell out of there as she could feel the tension in the room.

While walking back home that day she couldn't help but think about Cole and how he made her feel a special type of way. The last time she can remember she felt that way was all the way back with Ryan. NO. He is in her past now. She tried thinking about other things to get her mind off of Cole like the s**t-ton of homework she has to do or what's gonna happen next on her favorite show but it was useless as she could not take him off her mind. He had entered and that's where he stayed for the rest of day. 

In her bed, Calida overthought everything that happened that day from the moment she chose her seat to when he walked up to her and spoke to her to when she left him hanging. 

What....What if....What if I spoke to him? But why did I stare? UUGGGGGHHHHHI'm so stupid. He probably came to make fun of me for staring good thing I left before he could. No...but...what if he liked me? WE could be friends or....NO. I can't trust anyone. Remember what happened last time you trusted someone? But he's so hot and seems really sweet. He'll hurt you. What if he doesn't though? He will. He was the first person to show genuine interest in me at school. You sure? He was also the only one to ask how I was doing?  He was just being kind. AAAAGGGHHHHH

This internal monologue went on for a few hours and after a few muffled screams into her pillows and a few other pillows thrown across her room she came to a decision. She would speak to him if he spoke to her but she won't initiate so that she can gauge his interest because she didn't want to be humiliated again.                                                                               

                                                                                                   *** 

The next day as she sat down in English class she could not help but wonder whether he would speak to her or not but as the lesson got closer to starting and he was nowhere to be seen she could not help but think whether she did something so bad? Her worries dissipated when Cole walked into class and took his usual seat next to her. It's not like he really had any other option because all other seats were already taken. 

"Good morning." He told her without looking at her, rather he just kept pulling books out of his bag. Between the disrespect and the fear that he'll just stare blankly at her again, he saw that this was the best idea.

He spoke to me? Does that mean he forgives me? Let me ask him?

"Hey. So you-" She stopped herself as soon as she realized how stupid the words that were about to come out of her mouth were.

WHAT WAS I THINKING?! WHY WOULD I EVEN THINK OF ASKING THAT?!

"What?" He asked gently as he slowly angled himself closer to her.

"Oh, ummm...nothing. I was just gonna ask how you're doing." She lied.

"Oh," he chuckled gently, "I'm fine thanks. You?"

She didn't answer. That chuckle shocked her. She wasn't prepared for it. She wasn't prepared for the fact that under that appearance, one so built and sculpted, was that soft laugh, one so pure. She finally got herself to answer him.

"I'm fine.....Thank you." She stammered. 

I have to tell him. I have to tell him I'm sorry. Wait. if I do will he see me as weak? I mean more than everyone already sees me as. No....he won't think that. I'll just tell him. But what am I going to say?  'Hey, sorry I was a jerk yesterday I was just lost in your beautiful eyes and that face of yours' she said mockingly to herself in her head. I'll have to make something up obviously. Ummmm........

She took a hot minute to think about what excuse she was gonna come up with but she eventually got it 

"Hey...umm...I'm sorry about yesterday. I wasn't in a good place mentally cos my family went through some s**t and it got to me. Anyways I just wanted to say I'm sorry" She said hesitantly with a little stammer in her voice to make it a bit more believable.

"It's fine. I mean I didn't like it cos I really like you but I understand you. I went through the same s**t some time ago." 

"So you'll give me another chance?" She asked without hesitation.

WHAT DID I JUST SAY?! I'm a none to him. We've literally only spoken twice, well once technically but that's not the point, the point is that we've spoken so little yet here I am asking questions as if we're in  a relationship.

"Yeah, but this is the last one you get," He said jokingly but she knew it was true.

She already made such a shitty first impression she wouldn't allow herself to go back to him out of her own dignity and the newfound respect she felt for him.

"Thank you," Calida replied.

" I guess that makes us then doesn't it?" He asked turning to her.

She turned to meet him and momentarily froze but as a ray of sunlight shone through the window all her fears disappeared. The doubts she had about that massive question he had asked her. She hadn't had friends for years, so much so that she forgot how to be a good friend. The sun melted away this fear and gave Calida the courage and strength she needed to snap out of the staring competition as it had turned into to say 3 letters that would change her life: "Yes"

                                                                                                   ***   

Over the next few weeks they started to get closer talking everyday but they never seemed to meet outside that English class. Their relationship started to blossom but she still couldn't trust him fully and she  knew that she never will but she also knew that if she wanted that relationship that she was unable to stop thinking about she had to trust him somewhat. The problem was that while he was very sweet and extremely hot he never actually gave her an instance that could show her that he could be trusted.

                                                                                                   ***   

"Hey Bro!"

"Wassup Cole."

"Ok get this. So there's this girl-"

"Ooooooo" Gavin mockingly joked

"Shut up man. Or else I'll go ask someone else for help." Cole threatened.

"Fine, fine. I'll stop."

"Good. So, anyways, there's this girl in my English class-"

"The one with that creep of a teacher that you've had to repeat like twice?"

"Bro. STOP. But yes that one. So get this I walk into the class, ok, and there's a bunch of seats empty cos dor the first time ever I was early but before I could actually choose a seat I was already walking over to this girl in the corner of the room. She wasn't even that particulraly sexy so I don't know what happened." 

"Wait. You mean that weirdo in the halls that speaks to no one and eats alone everyday cos she doesnt have friends? Bro. Don't tell me you're into her. You're literally dating Layla, THE MOST POPULAR girl in the school and may I add that she's also a f*****g model." Gavin exclaimed in shock

"But you don't understand. This....this....this feeling that I felt when I looked into her eyes. I....I...I felt warm and comfortable. Plus she's actually really f*****g hot like she has that messy bun look going on under that hood and these eyes that glow like an orangish colour like that s**t that comes out of the trees." Cole justified.

He continued on to describe all the events that led up to the conversation he was currently in. He then asked Gavin if he would help him because he could never get some alone time with her so they came up with this plan to reel her in and show her that Cole is trustworthy and "fuckable" as Gavin put it.