I Wonder If You Hurt Like Me

I Hate You, Bastard!!

"Alfa Herlambang!" A voice I have loved for so long is calling my name.

I turned my body while looking at the girl who called me. She ran with such enthusiasm that several times she almost tripped because her shoelaces had been trampled by her. I smiled while watching her cute behavior; She is truly beautiful for everything she does ... and I love it. I just realized, I know that she is very close to me now. Even as he inhaled and exhaled his tired breath, she who looked tired, but still the tired smile she gave so beautifully was painted in my two eyes.

"Hey ... You know, you shouldn't run like this ... I won't even go anywhere ... Stupid girl!" I say, smiling again.

Instead of answering my question, she chuckled and immediately hugged me tightly; it makes me a little nervous to return her hug. But as far as I know, I like this atmosphere. I can even clearly hear the roar of his breathing. Can I be sure that she is happy about something, and the question now, am I happy too?

Of course, I'm happy because of this hug.

A few moments later, she released me from her arms and said so excitedly,

"Don't you want to congratulate me?" She asked me.

Actually I'm a little scared now becauseshe keeps smiling like crazy ... But I like this smile, she still looks beautiful.

"What's up, huh? Have you managed to collect all of your cereal collection?" I asked in a slightly uncomfortable tone.

"Today is the month of our celebrations," she said with great enthusiasm. "Reza and I will go to dinner together later .."

Even though she said words that were a bit unpleasant, she still looked so awesome. Tiara Clarissa; You are the most beautiful girl I have ever seen in my entire life, the love of my life, always ... And also my best friend .. I know clearly right? it's really annoying! Having deep feelings and love unanswered by someone who has been my playmate since we were 5 years old. It looked like God the Almighty loved me so much that He was laughing out loud now, while enjoying pop corn and Pepsi beside Him.

Then, what's so bad now? Tiara already has a boyfriend. Maybe it would have been better if she were still single, then I could pretend to be a man who was very close to him. But it's not a big problem now. How could she enter and start a relationship that was truly unthinkable? She is dating a man who incidentally has become a byword everyday in our school. Well indeed Reza was popular in school, so many girls who idolized him like a super top film actor at the present time. Actually, do you consider me a man or not Tiara? This love is like a figure of myself struggling and trying to carve our names on the water. Of course that stupid thing will not leave a mark. But what else can you do, now she and Reza have become so attached and their relationship is getting stronger with each other. That jerk, Reza! I don't hate him because I'm jealous of their relationship, but I have so many good reasons. That's why the more I see him, the more I have great reasons to hate him.

"Oh yeah ... Congratulations!" I said in a tone that was a little restrained, fortunately I still like you Tiara .. If not, I might have left here and said f**k it !! Understandably, this is the intact feeling of a single like me, whose love is taken but I can't do much to prevent it.

"Hey Fa ... Why is that expression so much? You should feel happy for this friend of yours !!" she said in a tomboy tone which made me shudder a little.

"Don't you see that I'm happy?" I replied with a big smile that I made.

Of course Tiara knows me so well .. "Why do you really hate ama Reza?" .. Oh and this is another popular question that she is asking now. Isn't she tired of asking about this? I'm even so tired to answer this silly question.

"I did not like him from the start," I replied simply. Okay, let me explain a little about this guy named Reza; he was probably one of the perfect men in the world. He is handsome, smart, popular, great at playing basketball ... That's why he is now in the first team of our school basketball. I had never been interested in finding out the intricacies of this man before, until when Tiara told me that he liked Reza. Well, that's when I considered Reza my enemy; the more I see him appear so perfect, the more I hate him. I don't feel so over when I hate him; I'm also handsome and smart, but maybe not on a level comparable to him. But who cares about these standards. Did I say that he is a player? Well that's how he is. And strangely again, Tiara with full courage, she came and expressed her feelings to Reza ... And Wahhhh !!! They both immediately became lovers. That's why I hate this jerk more and more.

"He's not that bad, if you've already gotten to know more about him," Tiara said.

"Then, do you really know him well?"

Tiara just rolled her eyes lazily, "Duh ... He is my boyfriend."

"Oh yeah, yes ... How could I forget?" I said in a bored tone.

"Okay ... Listen carefully ... You have to start liking him from now on!" She said in a tone as if commanding.

Oh my Tiara, my love ... I really can do whatever you command, but to like him ?? There is no way that would be open for that. For what I like a bastard, player, psychopath, devil child like that. He doesn't even deserve me to like it.

"Ra ... We know clearly what he's like, right ..." I said in a serious tone.

"Playboy, you mean?" Tiara replied briefly.

"Yes, that ..." I was even a little surprised by the answer given by Tiara.

"Don't worry about the Fa ... I can completely change and make him truly love me," Tiara said with a sure tone. She said like that as if I could trust her right away. Oh seriously, a guy like Reza is not easy for you to change. In his cell system alone various evil characters have been built. It won't be that easy to change this jerk.

"How can you be so sure?" I spoke as if I wanted to invite Tiara to be able to understand the nature of Reza, but I might have gotten off the track. I just don't want to hurt her.

"Ehh ..." I saw Tiara starting to look down and not continue to answer my question.

"You're not sure right?" I ask again ...

Then she raised her head back and said, "Of course I'm sure. He even told me that he felt our relationship was very different from the relationship he had had before. He said his feelings of love for me were really strong now." She answered again in a tone of defending and happy. She also chuckled a little when she said the phrase "Feelings of love". How could she just believe what came out of a player's mouth like that.

"Who knows, right? Maybe he would say that to every girl he dated first," I said. I'm sure, if the words spoken by the Reza already become his tongue's expertise in carving sweet and charming sentences.

"He might have been like that before, but maybe not now. And I'm sure that he really loves me," Tiara replied in a tone of trust.

Tiara is actually not as stupid as imagined. Maybe now she's trying to act stupid like this because of Reza.

"Then, if that is indeed wrong. You ...." I haven't finished my sentence, Tiara just cut off my words.

"But I love him Fa ..." she said with a warm expression. "I know," I told myself. But hearing that sentence, my heart ached. But what else can I do, Tiara really loves Reza .. As long as she is happy, even hurt I will be fine. Because I love her ...

"Okay, fix .. I won't say anything about him now." I said flatly.

Reza!! You really are a lucky jerk, how could my friend like you so much. Tiara grinned and returned to hug me tightly again.

"Thank you Fa ..." she said in a happy tone.

Oh ... How could I be so kind?

"Ra ... Already ... Let's just go in first ... Mr. Kim's lesson is about to start ..." I said, still holding her. Actually I don't really want to go into class now, I just want to hold Tiara forever .. But I don't want to be punished later by Mr. Kim.

Tiara and I entered the class, and for some reason now I feel as if I was being punished indirectly for having to see the face of that jerk.

Okay, I'll explain again what is happening now ... Tiara spontaneously ran towards Reza and the two of them started to do romantic drama scenes. Reza kissed Tiara's cheek and held her possessively. The funny thing is, Tiara looks so happy about it. But to me, views like this are really disgusting.

"Hello, Tiara's friend there," the strange voice suddenly entered and pierced through my eardrum.

"I have a name," I said sharply.

"Faffa right ..?" that voice again ... Damn you Reza! He calls me by my nickname now. Are we really close?

"The truth is, Alfa Herlambang," I replied sarcastically.

"You are really cute !!" he answered me as if he saw me as a toddler drinking a pacifier. He really played me !! God damn it

Yeah, that's it ... This morning's scenario was so bad, I just wanted to throw up. Tiara who throughout the study hours just kept watching Reza. The two of them chatted by passing the paper that was bridged by me who sat between them. I saw Tiara's writing on this paper "I Love You" ... Oh, she's really cute with this short message in this paper. It would be wonderful if this message was addressed directly to me. Sometimes Reza replied, and neither did. But now he replied "See you tonight", he did not even say "I Love U Too" .. Really this guy is indeed a devil child who disguised himself as a high school student. Of course I gave the paper to Tiara, and I could see Tiara smiling as if she was crazy about those strange words. I glanced at Reza and saw him winking. Of course the blink was direct for Tiara. All the girls will definitely be mesmerized and as if nosebleeds if they see the blink, but I feel the truth will vomit .. Yeah, I'm not a girl.

Because I saw that Tiara had been swayed by this nonsense, I took the initiative to protect my friend. I wrote on a piece of paper "Let's talk later". I gave the paper to Reza when Tiara did not look in our direction. Reza then replied, "What do you want to talk about? Don't say you're a gay person who wants to express your love to me ... I might consider it ... Because you look quite sweet and feminine." Reza really showed his true identity. And why would I do this disgusting thing? What I want is to talk to him ...

"Do you really love Tiara?" I said softly directly to him.

"What did you say Faffa? I really can't hear you?" he replied in a spoiled tone so disgusting in this ear. And I hope he stops calling me by my nickname again. I never even gave him permission to call me like that.

"I know you can hear me clearly! .." I said spontaneously.

"Ummm ... Alright .. I guess so .." he replied while raising one eyebrow.

"Don't hurt her ..." I stressed ..

Reza then turned straight at me and smiled like a devil,

"Oh, the sweetness ... What an over-protective friend ... I don't know if someone like you is still around now."

"Please ... I'm begging you .." I hate begging like this. But for the sake of Tiara, I'm willing.

Reza only gave me a gaze that was difficult to interpret, then he smiled and turned his gaze back to the front.

"Za ...!" I say in an uncontrolled tone.

"Alfa ... What are you talking about? I'm teaching now!" Said Mr. Kim from the front which made me surprised and spontaneously answered,

"No sir ... I'm sorry."

I can see clearly, Reza smiled and giggled at that. Damn you!

"What's the matter?" Tiara scolded while hitting my arm with the ruler.

I just shook my head as a sign that nothing happened.

Learning formulas all day at school makes my brain so tired. Strangely, I don't even feel sleepy, even though the clock shows 01:30 now. Maybe it's because I'm also experiencing insomnia, and I just want to paint now. Indeed, I'm just a beginner painter. The object that I always wanted to paint all the time was the Tiara. I focused my mind to paint the figure very deeply, and my concentration became shattered instantly when my cellphone rang.

"Damn it! ... I'll kill who called at this time ..." I told myself.

I hurriedly took my cellphone and answered the call,

"Hello ..." Instantly my world went dark ...

I was really in a hurry this morning ... No need to have breakfast, the adrenaline hormone in my body seemed to increase to tons now. I ran as fast as I could to go to school. A few moments I ran and reached the school gate, some students must feel a strange aura coming from me. Some of them chose to stay away, and I really don't care about that now.

I rushed to class, and "Bingo!" I finally met you.

"Oh hey Faffa ..." Reza greeted me, and really I was more determined to punch his face now. As I approached him, I swung my fist into his face and knocked him down on the floor. Schoolgirls screamed hysterically in shock at my actions.

"Didn't I tell you not to hurt her?" I grabbed his collar and looked at him sharply.

"Why are you silent huh! Answer me Za !!"

Instead of answering, he smiled as if he was underestimating my question.

"That's a pretty good blow, Faffa ... Do you really want to fight with me?"

"I said, answer me !!" my right hand was about to punch him again, but immediately restrained because it was held by Tiara.

"Fa .... Enough !! Stop this ...!"

"How come Ra ...? he has the courage ....." I said, which was immediately cut off by Tiara.

"Stop !! I misunderstood Reza last night ... Stop this, Fa ..." Tiara replied.

"What's going on ?? You guys, this morning already fighting ... Reza! Alfa! Now come with me to the Principal's Room!" said Mr. Kim, who was suddenly in the classroom. Maybe there are some other friends who called him earlier.

It's hard to explain how upset I am now. I have to sit in the Principal's room with this jerk beside me.

"Reza .. Alfa ... How can a model student like you two fight at school? How embarrassing ... You can give bad examples to other students ..." said the headmaster while shaking his head.

"Today .. You two get punished to clean all the toilets and teacher's room .. You understand?" he said asserting.

"Yes sir ..." both of us said together.

My fate is either bad luck or whatever, I have to be together with this sneaky man cleaning the rest room and teacher's room .. There is no conversation, we are both busy with our brooms and mops now. No, not the two of us ... Now it's just me who is busy sweeping and mopping the floor. That jerk is busy playing with his smartphone and taking my picture. Of course I know because the camera lights continue to turn on me several times.

"Hey ... You don't have anything to do huh? Why don't you say nothing? Clean up that part!" I say in annoyance.

"Why should I do it? You hit me, right?"

This jerk is full of crap. Too annoyed to respond to him, I chose to go out and get my bag to go home.

Not yet I came out, he pulled my hand and said,

"Don't you want to solve this problem?"

"What do you mean?" I asked him back.

"You want us to continue this fight where? Basketball court?" he asked as he approached me.

"Whatever you want to say, I just want you to know ... Don't you dare to hurt Tiara again." I said while sighing.

"You really care about her ... What exactly do you ..."

"I love her!" I replied immediately cut off his words.

He instead laughed and pointed at me with his index finger.

"What is love? What kind of thing is that ..." he said as if he underestimated the meaning of love I had for my best friend Tiara.

"Reza Prawijaya! Listen carefully ... You are indeed a bastard and a devil in the form of a human. Just look at it later, you will regret saying that when you experience what it's like to fall in love. And I'll be sure, you will lick your words back." I said as I left him.

"Alfa Herlambang!" he called .. "That is not the way to our class ... Do you intend to skip extracurricular activities ??"

"None of your business!" I answered spontaneously without looking at him.

"You know ... You look cute like that ... And one more thing, I will never fall in love." he replied from a distance as if he was so sure of that.

And for the first time, I agreed with his words ... A boy like him will never learn to love and indeed don't deserve to be loved, forever.