Fallen Kings

19

“I wanted to check in on you,” she says as she steps back. “See how you’re doing.”

“It’s good to see you.” I sit at my desk chair and smile at her. “In fact, I could use some motherly advice right now.”

Her eyebrows dart up as she settles back on my bed. “Is that so?”

“I’m wondering about relationships. During our training you told me I shouldn’t form any attachments. You said relationships were impossible for us because we need so many lovers to survive. But I have multiple men I have feelings for, and they’re powerful enough that they’ve been able to sustain me. Isn’t it possible we could make it work?”

“Possible…yes. Probable…no.” She sighs. “I’ve tried to have relationships with multiple men at once and it’s always been difficult, especially as the years pass. Other Lilim have also tried and failed. But you are half angel. Perhaps you can make it work where we failed. Although angels don’t have the greatest success rate with long-term relationships either.”

My hope deflates. She and I have discussed this before several times but for some reason I keep hoping for a different answer. Maybe because I have a hard time accepting this one. “But you’ve been in love before, haven’t you?”

“Oh yes, many times. With multiple men at once, even. It’s possible, for sure.” She looks away and a hint of pain crosses her face. “Yet in the end I always end up alone with my heart broken. I only wish to protect you from such pain. Learn from my mistakes and guard your heart as best you can.”

“I understand.” I lean back in my chair and sigh. “But I’m worried I’m too far gone already.”

“I’m sorry, darling. I’ve cared for many powerful men in my years. Culann, Baal, Gabriel…even Lucifer, for a short time. I know how hard it can be to let go of them.”

My breath catches in my throat. “Wait. Lucifer? When was this?”

She laughs and pats my leg. “It was ages ago. Literally ages. We were both young then and foolish. Lucifer is a tasty meal, no doubt, but he is so not the type to share. We’re much better as friends, anyway. After thousands of years, we’re more like brother and sister than anything.”

“Okay, good.” For a split second I worried Kassiel and I were related, and I did not need to deal with that mess. “And Baal?”

“Yes, he’s been one of my lovers, from time to time, for centuries.” Her face darkens and I sense there’s more there, something that brings her pain. Their relationship must have ended badly. But then she smiles again. “Speaking of past lovers, how’s your father doing?”

“He’s okay. He’s stuck in Angel Peak, but he’s taking his demotion from the Archangel council pretty well, I think. He’s taken over the town’s security, and he’s been a lot more cheerful since Jonah returned.” I shrug. “How did the two of you meet, anyway?”

Lilith tucks her legs underneath her on my bed, getting comfortable. “I suppose we’ve never really told you that story, have we? Well, you might have heard that Gabriel and Ariel had an on-again, off-again relationship for over a thousand years.”

I nod. Archangel Ariel is Jonah’s mom, and although I’ve never met her, I’ve heard stories from my brother about her. She’s a Malakim who loves nature and is known for being kind but also rather flighty.

“Gabriel had strong feelings for Ariel, but she was never interested in a commitment,” Lilith says. “From what I heard, Gabriel wanted more from their relationship after Jonah was born. He hoped the three of them could be a real family, but she ended things with him instead. Supposedly to spare his feelings, but he was still heartbroken.” Her lips curl up with amusement. “I was his rebound.”

“Really?”

“Back then, the truce between our people was fairly new and there were regular meetings in Los Angeles between the Archangels and Archdemons to discuss territory disputes, anyone breaking the Earth Accords, and any other issues that came up. That ended when Michael was killed, unfortunately. Anyway, after a particularly boring meeting I could tell Gabriel needed some distraction from his heartbreak, so I started flirting with him. One thing led to another and we found ourselves in bed together. We had a short, passionate affair, but we both knew it could never last. Relationships between our kind were forbidden, so we decided to end it before things went too far. Besides, he still wasn’t over Ariel yet, and I just wanted to cheer him up a bit. I never intended for it to be anything more than that.” She looks down at her hands. “Then we discovered I was pregnant.”

I hold my breath, waiting for the next part. I’ve wanted to know this story my entire life, and I’m desperate for her to continue.

“As you know, it’s very rare for a succubus to get pregnant. Even more rare than it is for other angels and demons. You also probably know that pregnancies between angels and demons always result in miscarriage. We assumed that would happen to me also, but it didn’t. We were both shocked and thrilled when you were born as healthy as can be.” She closes her eyes and smiles. “My goodness, you were the cutest baby.”

“Has there ever been any explanation as to why I survived?”

“Not really. Maybe it’s because Gabriel and I are both so old and powerful. Maybe our Archdemon and Archangel blood made you strong enough to survive. Or maybe it has nothing to do with that, and it’s a mystery we’ll never solve. Sometimes life persists, against all odds.” She leans over to take my hand with a warm smile. “Maybe it was destiny.”