The Markless

Chapter 9: Strings of Courage

Waking up the next morning, I grabbed a simple white shirt with I don’t care written on it and shorts cause’ I feel like they’re going to tire the hell out of me today. I fuss about going around the room searching for a ponytail. Ugh, why didn't I think about buying girly stuff when I’m outside? Giving up on finding one, I quickly ran my fingers through my hair to try to make myself look a little more presentable. I don’t want to attract people to this ugly face of mine. I glance at myself through the mirror, looking at my puffy eyelids. Someone can tell I cried a river last night. I traced my fingers across the necklace hanging around my neck, admiring every single thing about it. I love everything about this necklace, it feels like I’ve been refreshed by it or something. I really can’t explain it. But, this is the best birthday gift I will ever get in my life. I exhale through my mouth, calming down my nerves before I charge downstairs.

Smiling at myself, I got this: You are one hella tough girl, and you can handle every piece of s**t thrown in your way. A laugh found its way out of my mouth at what I’m saying to myself right now. Who’s a tough girl when you cried your ass out yesterday? I normally don’t cry, or complain about things. In fact, I don’t really care if someone or the world dies. Yeah, I’m not that sympathetic type of person you can tell your worries or your concerns about, because, for one, I don’t get to experience things like having things to get concerned or worried about. Two, I grew up protecting myself and not trusting others easily. I’m wary of others, I don’t easily give out emotions. And lastly, I don’t feel or feel anything about love. I guess, love for me is a strange island full of nothing but hopelessness. I think that’s why my relationship with Ben is strictly one-sided. I know Ben loves me like I am his own daughter, but I don’t feel the same way. I just think of him as my protector s***h father figure who always nags and scolds me every time he can get.

I jog downstairs, humming a tune I remember when I was little. I think this is the only one I remember from my childhood. I peek a glance at the worn-out clock on the wall beside Ben. It looks like we’re the early birds around here. I sighed and walked towards Ben in the kitchen. As I sat down on the barstool, I looked at Ben, looking at me with concerned eyes, screaming to tell him that I was okay. I nodded and gave him a winning smile. He laughed at me because he knew that the smile I gave him was a fake smile. Can you possibly smile after all what happened last night? I don’t think so, he just literally sentenced himself to death by asking me that question. I rolled my eyes at him for laughing at me. This is no time for jokes either. On second thought, how did I get an annoying protector like him?

“Chill sweetheart, I’m just weighing my choices around here”, he chuckled.

“Yeah, whatever you say pumpkin head”, I scoffed at him.

“So, are you ready for our tour today?” Ben said while glancing at his watch to check the time.

“Hmm-hmm, by the way, where are the two guests?”, I asked Ben while searching for Samantha and Jake in the room. I got no sight of the two of them or even bickering between the two. That’s odd.

“Uh-yeah, they’re checking something out, we’ll head down first, then I guess they can catch up with us later.

"Don’t worry, they’ll leave me a message,” Ben replied.

“Ok, so let’s get going then,” I said as I munched the hard bread, forcing myself to chew it.

This is the most horrible bread I’ve ever eaten. I stood up from my chair and headed towards the front door, exiting the house, inhaling the fresh air replenishing my lungs along with it. I smiled at the back of my head. Finally, I can physically roam around freely without the thought of Ben scolding me when I get back, because today he will be the one who will tour me around for the first time. I always manage to escape from him when I have the time. Of course, who wouldn’t be bored when you’re locked out from the rest of the world, right? No one. So, from time to time, I jump through the window in my room, and run to where my feet can go, and as always, Ben catches up to me at the moment before my toes can touch the lining of the road near where our temporary house is. He can always scent me whenever I’m far from what he told me to stay put. But, he was wrong. I never intended to listen to him anyway, and I think he finds it enjoyable, this chasing thingy, red-riding hood chase as he calls it. I honestly think that in all of this leadership facade he puts in front, it is as bad on the inside. I laugh at the thought of Ben having problems ordering or maintaining things in order. I would strive to live for that moment arrives. I stretch out my hands above my head, bending my body side to side, raising my left and right legs to stretch them out too. I sigh, this is the moment I’ve been waiting for raising my left and right legs to stretch them out too. I sigh, this is the moment I’ve been waiting for every minute, and every second of my life.

“You okay there sweetheart?’”, Ben strides behind me, and I was in shock at what he was wearing. I glanced at his face when I noticed he was smiling like a big champ.

“Woah there big boy, where are you going wearing those classy clothes of yours?

"And second, where, when, and how did you get to manage to get yourself something fancy like that?”, I teased him for wearing this audacious tuxedo, and me wearing rags for the final blow.

“Well, my sweetheart, did you ever think of looking inside the bathroom? I hanged it at the back of the bathroom door. I thought you would’ve noticed it when you did all the talking about pitying your looks. Let me tell you, you’re not an ugly duckling, you’re the most beautiful and cutest of all the women I’ve ever met in my life, and also the loudest, most adorable snore of all the snores in the snore kingdom if I may add”, Ben laughed and told me to get upstairs to change to something more formal rather than wearing ‘rags’ as what I said. I punched Ben’s shoulders to make fun of my snores. I ran upstairs to get into the dress or whatever it is that Ben was talking about. I entered the bathroom and there it was, the most stunning dress I’ve ever laid my eyes on. It was a light blue short fitted sexy dress with sparkly details on it. Also to mention, it was absolutely backless with only strings to support the dress to keep my knockers in their place. Oh my god, who picked the dress for God’s sake? I know it is a gorgeous dress, and it was meant to be beautiful such as to note, not myself. Ugh, I curse Ben or whoever picked this. I sigh when I hear footsteps coming from the other side of the bathroom, then knock on the door.

“Hey Aves, are you alright?” Ben asks.

“Ugh, no,” I replied,

“Why? Is it because you thought it was not meant for girls like you to dress in something like what you’re seeing right now?” Ben chuckled.

“Uhhhh-, nope”, I croaked. I knew what Ben was going to do next. He was going to barge inside and tell me to get myself dressed cause’ we’re running late.

“Sweetheart, don’t be, have confidence in yourself, don’t be ashamed of your scars cause’ your scars are beautiful, you are beautiful, and you deserve to have something once in a while,” Ben sighs.

“I know you never get to have anything you want, or experience things that others do, but just this one Aves, have the courage to find yourself putting on that dress and owning it. It doesn’t matter what people say, and when did anyone say about you matters?

"You are you, you decide for you, and no one. You are the most stubborn teenage girl I know, and this is an easy job for you,” Ben proclaims as my tears run down my cheeks.

This man really gets to me all the time. I gather my fears and put them inside the box I secretly hide from everyone. Avery Summer, this is your chance to finally free yourself from the worst fears you ever encounter in your life. F*ck*ng deal with it. I breathe out, taking out the dress from the hanger and putting on the dress as I tie the strings one by one, whew, tying these strings is not as easy as I thought. I close my eyes before turning around to see myself in front of the mirror, then I peek underneath my eyelids. I gasp at the sight of the dress hugging the unknown curve of my body that I thought I didn’t have. Holy crap, this dress perfectly matches the light blue color of my eyes and my hair, which is as black as a raven's wing. It’s perfect. This moment right here is perfect. Smiling at the reflection of my gorgeous self, I silently calmed myself, then opened the bathroom door, and I was greeted by three pairs of eyes with smiles grinning from ear to ear. Oh lord, this is one hell of a reaction.