A Shot of Espresso

Reminiscence

It's oblivious how I felt for you like deranged waves on the sea being tossed to and fro mindless from the cognizance of the folks.

thoughts which significantly runs through my brain as I tread the path across the border of the Seven Commandos beach in El Nido.

Gazing intently, this place is really heaven on Earth, having pristine white sand, turquoise calm water, lined with coconut trees no wonder it is considered as one of the best beaches here in Palawan and the fact that it only is accessible none other than boat means only few people visit here brings me at peace.

Gazing with bewilderment I heave a sigh as I stop and let my feet play with the warm water. How long has it been by the way? It's been five years since I left Manila for good. Wanting to start anew and forget the scars imprinted by the past yet, up until now it is a vivid memory like an unbroken glass, clear and untattered.

Flashback:

"Alexa! What were you thinking? Are you out of your mind?"

Mom barged into my room clenching my NOA from the prestigious Culinary School in New York on her right hand and looking at me as if I'm a havoc failure whilst finger pointing me using the other.

"Are you planning on ditching us? How about our company? I thought we already talked about this before? You even vowed that you're going to man our company once you graduated!" her fiery eyes piercing through my very soul now ablaze which I've never seen before.

Slack jawed and tongue tied in front of her, she lavishly tore the paper into pieces till I saw them fell freely all over the textured carpet bits into bits.

I was totally dumbstruck in terror in that very moment but was helpless trying to figure out the right words to explain myself til' I felt a warm liquid trickle down my face. She came closer and without a word or two her hand crashed hard into my left cheek leaving me dumbfounded. Cupping my heated cheek, mixed emotions of disgust, pain, and disappointment triggered me.

I stood up out the bed, my face boiled up in fury giving me the courage to pounce her with hurtful remarks,

"I spend my whole life behaving the way you want me to-" scowling and clenching my fist

"-like a puppet being manned by you, gave up my dreams, took up Business course 'cause all you want is for me to man the company then make a fool out of myself by forgetting what my heart truly desires!"

My voice cracked whilst tears ceaselessly streamed down my face, waving a finger on her face I gave my final blow,

"Now I've gone great lengths but what I deserved for doing so is a f*****g slap in the face?!"

As the heated discussion went on, I heard footsteps, behind mom came dad. His face was flustered with horror as mom abruptly drooped on the futon near my walk-in closet, breathless.

Immediately, dad called Manang Helen who was totally disconcerted as he moved closer and whispered something to her. Without further ado, she went out of my room and after a few seconds she returned with a glass of water and a small tablet which mom immediately gulp in seconds. I don't know what was that for and I don't even want to know maybe just some kind of meds to calm her.

Gazing at mom who was presently defenseless, my now stoned face turned to worried look as guilt huddled me. I took steps forward where they were and was about to hold her hand to apologize only to realized he suddenly shoved it away with a stern look on his face

"Get out!"

I was taken aback; I've never seen dad as infuriated as he was now. I couldn't believe what I've heard knowing how supportive and loving he was.

"I said get out and never comeback!" he yelled with finality in his tone.

Lost for words, I hurriedly packed my things and before I walked out my room Manang, with a look of sympathy, blocked my way as if wanting to stop me but I refused and hastily went down the living room and reached for the door and walked out leaving the very place I had been imprisoned for a very long time.