For a few seconds after Adrian spoke—
I genuinely didn’t know where to start.
Which honestly felt ridiculous.
Because usually I never had a problem speaking around him anymore.
I argued with him.
Bullied him occasionally.
Threatened his coffee intake weekly.
But somehow—
this felt different.
The silence between us stayed soft.
Heavy.
Not angry.
Just full of too many thoughts.
Beside me, Adrian waited patiently.
Watching me carefully without interrupting.
And honestly?
That somehow made this harder.
I stared down at the water bottle still resting between my hands before finally speaking quietly.
“I’m not mad at you.”
Adrian didn’t respond immediately.
Which meant he probably knew there was a but coming.
“I just…” I exhaled softly. “I don’t know.”
His voice stayed calm.
